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4,266 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
You might be a ricer if........

Yeah, it's a repost. But it's darn funny and oh so true........


... you find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude after EVERY race
... you drive a 4 door 'type R'
... your gumby pants make it hard to shift
... more than 20 of your mods involve shielding what is actually underneath
... you have stickers that even most asians don't get
... you have stickers for parts you dont have
... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
... your car has so much camber it can drive on its side
... when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter
... you have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer
... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
... you sell crack for the image...not the money
... you have 'N/T' polished on the side of car and you don't know what bracket racing is...
... you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs
... you can't race uphills
... you have "All Motor" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 14.50 dial in
... you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in
... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is b***** than most Pro-stock cars
... you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car
... you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin
... your tach is b***** than your head
... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic
... you refuse to race because it's a "show car"
... your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip
... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking ass on the autocross.
... you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager
... you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose
... your bright green $300 air filter is b***** than your engine


5,240 Posts
HAHAH! I like the bottle of Rice-X !!!

#1 Gear Nazi
4,748 Posts
Hehe, I hated being associated with ricers, I drove a 1992 Eagle Talon TSi AWD for a couple years, I didn't have any ricer mods, but since I had 3" loud exhaust (which didn't sound ricey) I always got called a ricer. But then again, how many ricers can say they run good at AutoX and the Dragstrip with a total of less than $3000 in mods in their car? 12.41 at the track and running just off pace at the AutoX (I never did get very good at AutoX). Hell, my car was built in Normal, Illinois it just had a Mitsubishi drivetrain. Oh well, now I drive a truck and a 1989 Lancia Y10 with the same size engine as my Duc. :)

476 Posts
Good post... I had a300 zx with a few mods from Stillen racing and I used to love it when the ricers pulled up beside me at stop lights.....but even better than that was the 5.0's from stoplight to the look on their faces when they pull up and I have been waiting on them :D
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