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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I knew a kid from Ohio named Joe. He was from a poor family and didn't get along with his father very well at all.
He had an old Ninja 250 and it was the love of his life. So when his father wanted to sell Joes motorcycle to pay some past due bills, Joe had had enough. He rode that old NInja 250 out to LA and lived in homeless shelters until he found a job.
Joe got lucky and found a job in a rat hole porno shop, but he was totally thrilled to have the job. He also had met a girl that liked him because he reminded her of Joe Dirt, and she let him move in with her.
Joe's life was turning around and he had never been happier. He had a girlfriend, worked in a Dido shop, and he had a dry roof over his head. Of course the best thing of all was that he was away form his alcoholic father!
So one day Joe decided to hang up an inflatable love doll from the ceiling, and make a new display. He tied her up to the ceiling grid with super light fishing line, and stuck some Dido's in both ends. He was very proud of his display.
A few days later 2 fat ladies were perusing the Dido and B-plug isle near where Joe had hung the inflatable love doll. It was after rush hour and lot's of people were shopping that night and the store was busy.
All of a sudden the ass end of the love doll blew out form over inflation, and the love doll shot right into the fat ladies faces who stood below.
They both let out blood curtelling screams, and one of them passed out. When she fell it knocked over the entire Dido isle and 2 rotarty B-plug displays and toys were flying all over the the place.
The lady that passed out was lying there with Dido's and B-plugs piled all over her, and the other lady had started laughing so hard she couldn't breath, then she passed out because she had COPD and didn't get enough air to keep her brain functioning.
When they both woke up, both ladies began laughing so hard that everybody in the store was hardly able to stand up. All of the Pervy's came running out of the video booths and several of them had forgotten to get their clothes back on correctly, and had slick stuff all over their faces.
Just at this moment, Joes boss walked in and went through the roof. Of course being in California, all he could see was a huge law suit coming his way, so he immediately fired poor Joe.
Well then poor ole Joe couldn't help his new girlfriend with living expenses and she kicked him out. Now poor Joe is back in the homeless shelter and looking for a new job.
Stay tuned for more stories of Ninja Joe:meangreen
 

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you have no idea.

I put all my gear on today, to see if it would all still fit.

and yep.

it did fit.

and then I took it all off.

and cried.
 

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still some holiday weight you're worried about?
:p
 

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Never was any to be worried about. I'm female... I always assume something I haven't worn for a while isn't going to fit. :curtsey
 

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fuck me is THAT how it works?

MIND=BLOWN
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So after searching for a job far and wide, Joe landed a job in another adult book store. Again he worked his way up from mopping slime out of the movie booths, to running the desk and selling didos.
Joe gianed much knowledge about adult toys and what women like. He had also learned his lesson about putting up displays that can blow out and reek havok in the store. Yes Joe had finally found his way in the adult book store business.
After working for around 6 months, Joe found an apartment he could afford, and found some ratty azz furniture at Goodwill.
Then Joe met a girl named Wanda and fell head over heals in love with her. Wanda was a double amputee and had no legs, but that didn't stop her as long as she had her electric wheel chair. Wanda was actually a beautiful girl considering that she had no legs. She looked a lot like Christina Aguillara only a lot shorter and didn't wear a lot of makeup.
When Joe and Wanda made love, he would hang her on a chin up bar across the door way and just bang her like there was no tomorrow. She would get to swinging like a monkey on the bar, and all he would have to do was stand there and Wanda would move back and forth until Joe would explode in extacy. Joe had never known a women that could bring him so much pleasure, and when he was at work, all he did all day long was fantasize over what he would do to her that night!
Wand was happier than she had ever been in her life, and had finally found the man of her dreams!
One night about bed time, Joe had talked Wanda into trying some of the adult toys that he had collected. She was a little scared but would always do anything Joe wanted her to do.
After tying her down, Joe was grinning from ear to ear, because he was going to try out the new Hyper Speed 80,000 RPM dido he just bought at the book store. When Wanda saw the new toy, she became very excited and couldn't lay still form the anticipation.
So Joe fired up the Hyperdo and began usiing it on Wanda. It only took a few minutes and she was spazeming against the ropes that constrained her, and had hit the big O about 30 times in 10 minutes.
Then it happened!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 · (Edited)
So with all of the spazming and the rpm's from the Hyperdo, Wandas powerful female muscles squeezed against the dido until the plastic cracked, and shorted out the hyper drive motor.
The muscle pressure and the electrical explosion propelled the Hyperdo out the window, bouncing off of the cable vision satelite dish destroying the main low noise amplifier and shutting the entire cable network down. The Hyperdo then bounced across the street and crashed through the window of Acallista's place and passed on through crashing another window on the way out. It then flew across the highway to the local zoo, and struck the cage door of a huge Silver Back Gorilla.
It destroyed the lock on the cage of the gorilla, and he escaped from the Zoo. He ran aqcross the highway and crawled through the window where he had seen the dido come from because by now he was really pissed, but finally calmed down and ate some leftover pizza he found in the refrigerator.
When Acallista came home from work, it freaked the gorilla out and he tried to run through the door, and body slammed Acallista on the way out.
So don't use hyper speed didos on a double amputee, shut down the cable network, and get Acallista body slammed by a low land gorilla!
 
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