Sport Bikes banner

1 - 20 of 68 Posts

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Have you ever sat there and looked back, upon your life and everything that has surrounded it. If you did, what did you come up with?

Here's mine.
I grew up in a pretty unstable family for the most part, until one day my Dad who was always this strong man about the house, you know the kind, maybe, but the type of fella who wouldn't think twice about the power of the back hand or belt when you'd done something wrong. The one day out of the blue he changed, he became a real husband to my Mum and father to my sister and me. Things definitely changed for the better, don't get me wrong, he'd still swing at me if I deserved it. We never had much growing up, but my Dad always worked hard to supply food and a roof over our heads. When I was 16, I really did something stupid and my Dad found out, that was a day that changed my life for the next couple of years.. See my Dad came at me and was really going to stick it to me, but for the first time ever I just stood there ready to take it, has he raised his fist to me, he saw this, and stopped dead in his tracks. I actually saw my Dad shed a tear for the first time in my life. A few weeks later I had moved out and into my own place. I didn’t talk to my dad for many years. I asked my Mum a few times what had happened, she didn’t tell me for some time, then I found out. He was finally proud of me, I, in his eyes had finally become a man.
Anyway, I always wanted to do the same work as my Dad, so I put myself through Plant School, no not the green kind, plant machinery, moved to a Town called Otley, back home in the UK and began to work for a Quarry as an operator, machines such as face shovels and loaders. While in Otley, I met Amanda, 2 years later we were engaged, bought a house, money was good for both of us back then. We were set to get married the following year and we were saving up like mad. Her best friends were all going away on vacation to Singapore, Amanda had decided that she wasn't going to go as we were saving for the Wedding. So as they were leaving literally the day after her birthday, I chose the perfect gift. We all went out for dinner that night to celebrate Amanda's birthday, near the end, I said you need to go home and get your gift, luckily we actually only lived round the corner from the restaurant we were eating at. What I had done was worked extra overtime to pay for her trip also, went shopping and bought her all new clothes, with the help of her Mum and sister, packed everything and set it out just as we left to go eat. When she returned with ticket in hand, the look on her face could have launched a thousand ships...... Anyway, she left the next day for 3 weeks in Singapore, we spoke everyday on the phone, wrote letters to each other even sent postcards, her from there and me from home....The night before she was due to fly back she called me and asked if I was still planning on picking her up from the airport, silly question..... So 2 days later she was back, I was so happy as she walked through the arrivals gate, straight past me without a word, as I looked around I saw her parents waiting for her, looking just as confused as I was....They left with a word spoken. I just sat there for a while then called her, her mother answered and said she didn’t want to talk to me, what had I done....Anyway I finally found out that she had second thoughts, got scared, the wedding was off..... 4 weeks later, after many a drunken nights, my old boss came to pick me up and took me to the canary islands, lanzarote to be precise, for a vacation, clear my head up. I stayed, didn’t come home for 2 years. While there I contacted my lawyers, had then sign over the deed to the house, car and everything to Amanda and I never spoke to her again. That was the first time I had my heart broken, and I wanted revenge.....For 18 months I shagged everything I could, I was such a charmer, had girls from all over the world fall in love with me, and I tore their hearts out at the first opportunity. I worked for a windsurfing school and rental center by day and ran 2 bars by night, I was rolling in it, villa on the hill I shared with some friends, parties all the time, free booze and drugs, never done drugs before, but I soon learned how.....Anyway, as I said 18 months was the magic #, that’s when I met Nicole, man she turned me around real quick, made me see the error of my ways, actually taught me to love again, and a few other things...Nicole is responsible for my discovery of being bisexual, but that’s another story.....Even found me a great guy, I dated him for a few months, saw Nicole each time she came back to the island, she is still my very best friend to this day, I was actually happy. But the drugs and booze had now taken a very good hold of me, I had to leave, otherwise all I could see was a very quick downward slope and probably my death.....So back to the UK, and home, my Dad actually picked me up from the airport, first time we had spoken in over 4 years. When he arrived he was curious as to what all the boards and sails were, I told him, Windsurfing, it had become the only really important part of my life, I raced and was pretty good. My Dad had never seen it before, so I took him with me one day, after putting myself through cold turkey, never realized I was actually that bad, until it hit me. I knew I had to do something so I did. So there we are at the beach for the first time, me and my Dad, he was quite amazed at the sport, loved it. So when I started to compete, he was always willing to come with and help out. I remember my very first win, he was so proud "that’s my son" he shouted as I received my very first trophy. 2 weeks later I was sailing professionally for Bic Sport. As the next couple of years went by, I competed all over Europe at speed events, my forte in the sport. I was British champ 2 years in a row, I'd changed sponsors to Fanatic ART, and met Debbie..... 3 years went by, Debbie and me drifted apart when I moved to West Kirby to open my own store. This was helped along by the fact that one drunken evening I finally decided everything was ready for her to join me, called her at 2am, spoke to her Mum, she never got the message......She never came, the engagement was off, yes we were engaged.....September of 96, I began speaking to Meredith on the internet, she was from Milwaukee, 10 years younger than me, I being 28 now, a month later I flew her to the UK, we fell in love and were married the following September, October I packed everything up and moved to the US.....
By July she had already had her first affair, I forgave her, August she was pregnant, I cant have kids, what a shock that was.....That’s how I found out about the affair.....I don’t really want to talk about what we did, but the choice was hers. 2 years passed, pregnant again, affair #2, same thing happened, only this time we sought marriage guidance, the only thing that did was give her the excuse to leave me, she moved out while I was in Orlando on business, oh yeah forgot to mention I was now a successful manager for a windsurfing and other sports store. I knew I still loved her, so I fought tooth and nail to make things up and win her back. I did. November 2000, I received a call from my Dad, he had cancer, but all was good it was in remission, June 2001 it was back and he didn’t have much time left, I flew home immediately. What I saw when I got there, would have broken anyone’s heart, here's man, who had been so strong all his life, yet now he was about 70lbs, but still found the strength to meet me at the door when I arrived home.....
While I was there I watched him get worse, and on one day had to bathe him, we sat and talked while I did so, so many memories, this was the first time me and my dad cried together, he told me he loved me and couldn't be prouder of me.......I flew home 2 days later, and 3 days later on September 9th my Dad died......My Mother was heart broken, but she found strength, well for 8 months, May 11th 2002 she followed my Dad from a small stroke, passed away in her sleep at the hospital. The family new it was from a broken heart, we knew she wouldn't be that far behind..... See one thing I knew all the time I was growing up, my parents really did, no matter what, through thick and thin, they loved each other.... My marriage finally collapsed in 2004.....So here I am 37 years old, and I have nothing, well nothing but my memories.....
I don’t know why, but while sitting out thinking to myself the thought came to me.
I've traveled all over the world, yet I feel I've been nowhere, I have always been someone from whom others sought advice, yet do I really know anything, I'm in good health, but I could be gone tomorrow, seems this world we live in changes from day to day, we have experiences that guide our lives and change our pathways...When my marriage was really rocky I started talking to Debbie again, we had dinner one evening while I was visiting my Dad before he passed away, we were always good friends before anything else, that’s when I found out she had never again dated, never stopped loving me, she even still has the engagement ring I bought her, we've been conversing back and forth since then, I'm going home to England to see her.......Maybe I'm falling in love again, I don't know, not sure if I even yet know the meaning of the word, I know the pain for sure. Do I know the rest..... I can tell you this, I do know only one person in my life has ever made me question the meaning, or if I have ever actually been in love, you know to the level of giving up your last breath for them if you could, I know my Mother would have for my Dad, as would he have for my Mum, as would I.....For her....But that’s another story.......

So, those were just a few of my experiences.... What’s your story..?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
202 Posts
I actually read that whole thing and thought it was a good read....could have used some paragraphs, but you can't have everything.

And if you think your post was long, wait till you see what i got :D

I know i'm still young and all that, so i got over pretty much everything, but I still think about "What could have been" almost everyday.

I wrote this in January 2005 to kind of keep track of my life I guess...Nothing better to write about then you're first love anyways! Also, this really wasnt written to be posted on a forum, so you might not understand a couple inside jokes, but I wanted to keep the 5000 word (no sarcasm) story as short as possible lol.




Me and Brianna started talking around mid-late November I guess, when she added me to msn. We got along good and had the same attitude toward a lot of things; she always seemed to have the magical right thing to say exactly when I wanted to hear it. We flirted back and forth on MSN constantly with completely open minds, neither of us afraid to ask or say anything to the other. Obviously sex was a big topic, us both being teenagers with beautiful hormones inside us, so we’d joke around about her sucking 3 layers of skin off my cock and launching my dick like a rocket. Sex talk was fairly normal with Brianna seeing how she constantly had it on her mind when she was drunk and around guys that spent the night dry humping her, telling guys she’ll suck them off if they finish their drink and handing her ass out on a platter. I was all cool with this to be honest, because she was single and just putting herself out there.

Once we started talking on MSN, it gave us both a lot more time to get to know each other on a more serious note, something that she implied was unique to me, she implied this by saying, “Pretty sure I can talk to you easier then anyone I know about this kind of stuff”, and “I trust you so much more then a lot of people I know”. These topics got started by her, one night, asking me what I thought about in my spare time, since I was getting bored of the sex talk, I figured I would throw something out on the table and see how she acted. So, my response? Life. Obviously catching her off guard, I asked what she thought about that, she was surprised, and of course, wanted to know more. Eventually we were asking each other on what the meaning of life is, where we saw ourselves in 30 years, what makes people unique from their peers, the importance of honesty and trust, and most interestingly, our opinions on each other.

The first day I laid myself out on the table for her, i was still on the fence whether or not she was a skank, i couldn't make up my mind whether or not to pick her up. Earlier that day, Joel told me that he told Brianna they had no chance together and he wouldn’t date her. Later that night, she came onto MSN messaging me about how bummed out she was, of course I didnt ask why, because i didn't want to be intrusive, but i already knew why she was bummed. This sent some nice thoughts through my head, like "REBOUND GUY!!!” Trying my hardest to get laid by a fairly hot girl with no tits, i consoled her as best I could. Telling her something like, "Your alot smarter then you think you are, and theirs alot of people out there that think very highly of you, me being one of them. I don’t know what i would do if I had to go through life Briannaless." I thought it was either going to weird her out, or she would eat it like candy. Since my story isn't done yet, she ate it like candy obviously. She replied by saying "Alright your one of the nicest people i know.” wait about 5 seconds, "Ok your defiantly the nicest person i know". I was in!

After this we went through our conversations saying at least one corny thing about the other person, her saying things like: "I can't believe how much i trust you with everything I say, you’re so much different then anyone i know and I don't know what i would do without you." She told me countless times how much she trusted me, but never really bothered to ask if I trusted her or not until later, but that’s another topic.

OK, so this is about Mid-December, we're both in exams and are extremely busy. We manage to hang out in person twice during December and have a pretty amazing time, she's alot of fun, I like to think I’m fun, so it was all good. We decide that after exams we're going to hang out alot more. I say, "After exams, you know that your all mine right?" she replies with "Well obviously :)". That reminds me; you got a 4.0gpa and still owe me a blowjob, skank.

Felt like I was living the highlife with this girl. I told her that she convinced me that not all women are out to just hop on any cock they can find, which was me being honest. I told her that she meant more then anything I own, or anybody i've ever known, which was honest. She replied with, "Awwww you’re the one guy that actually makes me feel special :)". Another thing that got to me was her constantly saying how lonely she is without a boyfriend and wondering if I was also lonely without a girlfriend. Ok, great, things are going smooth.

That's basically our bonding story, now here is where it lit up for me and came close to breaking some VERY good friendships. The night before she left to go home for Christmas break, she told me that she wouldn’t have MSN at home, and wouldn’t have a way to talk to me for *gasp* a week and a half! We said our 30min goodbyes that night, her saying "We'll obviously I’m going to miss you more then anything and will think about you everyday". I basically said the same thing as well, except i actually did it, i thought about that girl everyday for a week and a fucking half. But back on topic, the next day I go in to write my last exam, only to have Joel start talking to me, it went something like this.

Joel - "So you study last night at all Miles?"
Miles - "Nah not at all man, I can't change my grade up or down anyways. You study at all?"
Joel - "Nah, I had Brianna over last night and was too busy getting sucked off."
Miles - "Really.....when was she over?"
Joel - "Whenever she wasn't online, before 9 oclockish."

Boom....umm...ouch? Yea that one fucking hurt. Granted Joel didn't know that I had a thing going for Brianna, I was still a pretty pissed off kid. I started trying to think of someone to blame or some sort of hidden meaning only to come up no good answers, except friends offering to beat up both of them (You're lucky Joel!! :D). This was the first day my doubts came in about the magical women Brianna. Now if I was smart, I would have bailed ship, but I like a good beating now and then and decided that my feelings for her were enough to ignore the fact she's sucking off my fried the same day she tells me how much i mean to her. Nice logic!

Christmas break, what a huge fucking nightmare, I had no one to goto for answers, and stayed inside the whole time doing fuck all.

Brianna strolled back into my city on the 3rd or 4th of January. I messaged her right away asking her if she missed me, of course she said yes, she always knows what to say! We talked for a bit until she asked me, "So did u miss me?", I replied with, "Don't you ever go away again, I thought about you everyday and don't plan on ever doing it again". Her response, "Aww I’m so glad to be back talking to you :)". I asked her that day when she wanted to come over to my place to hang out for a bit, she put me on hold the entire week and would never come over again. That week we continued to talk for 4-5+ hours a day pretty much, both of us staying up way later then we normally would. One particular topic that interested me was Thursday night, she asked me if I trusted her. I avoided the question and said, "What do you want me to trust you about?". She said that was a good question and dropped the subject. About 30minutes later she asked me again if I trust her. I replied by saying "If there is one thing I don't like doing, it's handing out my trust to too many people. You of all people, saying that you were burned in the past for doing it should know that". So we continued on for about 15min of her asking why I wouldn’t trust her until I finally gave up and said "Fine, I trust you". Just to get her off my back.

Friday the 7th. The dumbest, most pointless night of my life, i would have been put to better use picking my own shit out of the toilet then talking to Brianna that night and im fucking kicking myself for not saving MSN logs of this night. It started out fairly normal, until out of the infinite wisdom she has, decided to tell me, "Wow, some guy I used to work with, just asked me out". Right when she says that, I’m on webcam and trying my hardest to not throw my arms up and yell, "ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID!?!" So I tried to play it cool. I'll try and re-enact the MSN conversation of what happened through memory.

But first, a little background knowledge: Earlier, in December, we had a similar conversation that went like this:

Brianna - "just got off the phone with my friend...well hopefully he's more then a friend now."
Miles - "Oh, good for you."
Brianna - "I'm joking, but I was expecting a different answer then that"
Miles - "I know your joking, and I’m glad you were"
Brianna - "That’s better :)"

And now the conversation we had Friday the 7th:

Brianna - "Wow, some guy I used to work with just asked me out over MSN."
Miles - "Last time you said that to me it was a test."
Brianna - "Well this time it's not a test."
Miles - "Oh yea? So what did you have to say about him asking you out?"
Brianna - "Why would you care?"
....
Miles - "Because you a serious future prospect of mine, I really didn't want to tell you that over MSN, but i didn't have much of a choice. 1) I could let you go and not saying anything, giving u the impression that I dont care. Or 2) Speak up and tell you how i feel."
Brianna - "Omg, i can't believe this....FUCK....Miles what do i do!??! this shit ALWAYS happens to me, i swear im a fucking MAGNET for this shit!"
Miles - "What are u suppose to do? google it?"
Brianna - "Bad joke"
Miles - "Are you saying that you didn't think i would ask u out, could i have made it more obvious? i tell u constantly how much you mean to me, and you consistantly do the same to me, you would think that makes this mutual."
Brianna - "I didn't think you would want into a relationship this quickly."

Keep in mind that I've known her for about 2-3 months, talked to her everyday for about a month, and she is calling dating a relationship. Wait wait, let me go find the worlds smallest Violin, and we'll play it together.

I asked her if she liked me and she told me "Yes i have feelings for you, and i really wanted us to workout, but this is so complicated." I asked her what was so complicated, and she refused to answer, although I was able to figure it out, and so will you once you read the end of the logs at the bottom (she was putting me on hold for Joel). I then proceeded to ask her EXTREMLY assholeish questions that needed to be answered more then anything, i decided the push was worth the shove and proceeded on. I ask her if she just didn’t have the heart to turn me down or if she actually had to think about something. She reassured me of her feelings for me, and insisted that she just had to figure something out. I asked her if everything she said to me was bullshit, about me being special to her and meaning so much to her. Once again, reassurance that it was all true, i meant more then anything to her and she just had to figure something out. Then my most prized question! The one that i'm thinking made her cry, "Before you left for Esponola for Christmas break, you said that your going to miss me and how much i meant to you, but a couple hours before that u were sucking off my friend...why?". Of course she had a well planned out evasive answer to slide out of that, "Like, I don’t have time for this"......SMOOTH!!!! Lying would have worked too!

We continued to have a no holds bar conversation, I told her that I planned on asking her out next time I saw her, and that if her answer was "No", i was going to drop her off on the side of the road, between my house and her house, and just drive away making her walk home. I continued to tell her how fucking evil it is to lead a guy on, I don't give a fuck about your past relationships and where they went wrong, you dont dick around with a guy that has given you nothing but everything. After that she admitted, "I know, I’m so sorry for this, I wasn't leading u on because I actually have feelings for you".

Eventually she said, "Well technically you haven’t asked me out yet." This brought a couple "What the FUCK's" through my head, I decided to play her game, like i had done so many times before and popped the question. She said she would think about it, but if we had never gotten into an argument, she would have said yes. Alright.....now I don't care if that’s true, you don't say that to a guy who just accused you of being a slut without expecting something in return. My response? "Shut the fuck up and never say that again". Oooooh charming! Surprisingly she didn't block me and she had the balls to say the EXACT same thing about 15minutes later. I've had enough. "Fuck You", and i go offline. Of course this is where all the emotions I had are completely ignoring the undeniable fact that she is playing with me, and I begin thinking that maybe we can work this through. This conversation was about 8 hours long lasting from 11:00pm to 7:00am, so I'm clearly missing a shitload of information. But to summarize what happened after I told her to "fuck off", I came crawling back online about 10minutes later, and was surprised she was online. We apologize to each other and actually build our half-decent friendship up together. I repeat the same question to her atleast 3 times; "If you putting me on hold is just your way of saying no, it would be alot easier if u just said it now instead of dragging me along". Her response was always the same, "I'm so sorry Miles, i really have feelings for you and i want us to work out so much, I feel so bad that I can't give a good answer to you right now, but i PROMISE i'm not just dragging you along, i really don't know the answer". The clock dinged 7:00am and I was heading out of town to goto Toronto. I was about to spend the entire day around about 10,000 people off of ZERO hours sleep because of a woman that only had lies to tell me. Beautiful.

After I got home around 9pm, we continued where we left off and decided that, no matter what, we would still be friends. I knew in my head that this girl was a do or die, she was either playing me everynight for 2 months(which I started seriously considering once again at this point), or would turn out to be one of the best women ever. So friendships woulden't last very long if she said "no". Obviosuly saying that to her would seem almost as cold-hearted as telling her to "Fuck off", so i said what she wanted to hear. "Of course we'll be friends".

The next day she told me that she had nightmares the night before. I asked her what it was about and she replied, "It was you just standing there, and whenever i tried to talk to you, you said 'Sorry Brianna I don't talk to shit'", I really didn't care and shrugged it off. After this, she tells me that she had done some thinking about "us", and brought me a couple bullshit questions that I was able to answer with my own bullshit. She told me, "If we were dating, I'm not sure that I would be able to go with problems. Example, when I told you that I was working with someone who had braces in my Clinic class, you acted like it was no big deal". So the guy that tells you directly that you mean everything to him, in your words, "Without you, i never would have been able to get through the stress of exams", is getting questioned because he doesn't give a fuck about your class? I took this as her way of saying no, since it made minimal sense in my mind, so I told her, "Alright, then I guess we're better off friends". I had already given up on her when she told me that she "had to think about us", so it was alot easier to say then I would have guessed. Of course she replied with, "Well if thats what you think, ok. But I'm still not sure if im missing out on the perfect guy". Way to plant the seed of doubt in my fucking head. Another "concern" she had about me was that I act like i know everything, well, compared to you? I do.

OK, so we're back to being friends. I act as normally as possible, and it actually worked for about.....48 hours. We got along fairly well but I had old thoughts coming back to me. I knew she was into Joel earlier, and by what he said before Christmas (about her sucking him off) I didn't rule out the fact that she was still into him. As for Kyle, she always spoke pretty highly of him, saying "he's a good friend", and I assumed it was him that asked her out on Friday night, seeing how he used to work with her and also used to be interested in her. This is all pure speculation that I could be wrong about, but I figure she talks the same way to Kyle as she does to me and Joel (which is proved later, in the logs), with him liking her just the way I did. It all fell into place pretty effectively. Brianna was able to play 3 guys (probably 4 if kyle wasnt the one that asked her out) by relying on one thing. Trust. I started to understand why she handed out her trust so easily to me, it's because she wanted the same in return. If she could convince each guy that she trusts them 100%, then they would do the same to her in return, therefore not talking about how she says "I have feelings for you", to any other guy, because this would violate their trust. Basically keeping everyones mouth shut let her do anything she wanted to an individual guy.

Then a fact came back to me that I could easily rely on. I asked her friday, "If we were dating, would you tell Kyle and Joel?", she replied perfectly, "No, because that would make it seem like im embarresed to be dating you". I planned on putting the fact that I asked her out, out into the open for people to know, and also tell them that we were really into each other but extenuating circumstances stopped us from dating. Then if she said "Thats personal information Miles". I'd just use my handy line up there and ask why she is embarresed to admit it. So I told Joel that I asked her out, and got him to ask her what she thought about that. The plan was to either have her say "Yea we liked each other", or she could deny the whole thing and say, "Pffft Miles is a loser and I never liked him". Putting her between a rock and a hard place pretty much. The plan worked like a fucking charm like any other of my ideas, because the day I let a woman slither away from me is the day I lose my dick in a pencil sharpener.

Another layer to the plan was to tell Brianna, "I told Joel today that I asked you out". I played the innocent guy that did it out of honesty, telling her that "We're all friends, I dont think its a big deal for them to know we were into each other". She eventually agreed that it was no big deal. I told her this before she talked to Joel that day, just to make sure that I kept my innocence and wasn't talking behind her back, I wanted her to have minimal things to say back to me basically.

Later that night, she came home and I opened up a short conversation with her, and also Joel messaged me telling that he asked her about me asking her out. Her response, "Well i just told him 'maybe' to not break his heart". So I had all the answers now, and everything fell into place. Everything that everyone told me was right, i should have been more careful. And Joel, telling me to be careful, and Josh saying "uuuh id wrap it up"......yea they were right too, I just had a retarded way of ignoring all these facts. All these people knew from experiance what she does to guys, how she toys them around, but curiosity got the best of me and I had the exact same thing happen to me. It's kind of like talking about wet paint. When someone tells you that the paint is wet, you ask yourself.....is that paint really wet? So I went and tested it out myself, only to find out the yes, the paint was fucking wet.

The conversation that followed is lightly edited for spelling and punctuation, but is 99% word for word. Joel began talking to her like he knew everything about us, saying that i sent him all of our conversation logs. In reality I didn't, because I respected our privacy at the time, but i decided to play along to see where it was going. Her responses are pretty vague and meaningless, but its the best I could get.


Brianna says:
Did you send Joel any history?
Miles says:
What history
Miles says:
What do u mean
Brianna says:
our msn history
Miles says:
I don’t keep msn history
Brianna says:
Don’t lie to me
Miles says:
So I just copy pasted it all and sent it to him
Miles says:
I’m joking
Brianna says:
Did you honestly
Miles says:
No fuck
Miles says:
lol
Brianna says:
That’s not even fucking funny seriously
Brianna says:
Did you or didn't you
Brianna says:
Be honest with me and don't joke around
Miles says:
Yea I sent him all of Fridays stuff
Miles says:
Because I guess I’m not trustworthy
Brianna says:
k I don't even know what to say to you
Miles says:
Well u can start by telling me if u actually wanted to go out
Miles says:
Or if u just said that for shits and giggles
Brianna says:
No I’m not answering any more of your questions cause they just get passed along
Miles says:
Do u think they do?
Miles says:
or do u think someone can predict our conversations well enough to have a good idea as to what we’re talking about. Thus being able second guess yourself and your trust in others.
Brianna says:
Like what are you attempting to prove?
Miles says:
I’m not trying to prove anything; I’m just wondering if there is anything u want to say
Brianna says:
No because it just gets passed on
Miles says:
Well in that case

Fuck you

*goes offline*
Miles says:
Kidding hahaha
Brianna says:
I’m glad this is funny to you
Miles says:
Well u know what I’m laughing about
Miles says:
You proved me right about so much stuff
Miles says:
And u wonder why I think that I get everything right
Miles says:
It’s because I always am
Brianna says:
well that’s.......nice
Miles says:
Brianna I’m gonna admit it
Miles says:
u broke me like a fucking twig
Miles says:
And your gonna do that to alot of guys
Miles says:
Because everything u say to one guy just gets copy pasted on over to the next
Miles says:
And u just pick up all their hearts off the ground and stomp on them
Miles says:
its NOT nice
Brianna says:
I’m not the one copying and pasting
Miles says:
Seriously now
Miles says:
Are u in denial?
Miles says:
Or just have a hard time admitting that u got caught
Brianna says:
got caught what
Miles says:
Playing every guy u talk to
Miles says:
It’s funny because that should be my job but u convinced me to be nice and treat each women like they deserve respect for some unknown reason...and I thought it would be nice to have the same respect in return
Miles says:
Brianna says:
k clearly I don't want miles
Joel says:
Clearly that’s not what your convo says
Brianna says:
and i just wanna see what happens with you and candice
Joel says:
yeah thats bullshit

Miles says:
Thanks Brianna, I’m glad u still wanted to be "friends" though, and as for making ur dream a reality, I really don’t want to talk to shit anymore




Annnd thats where I hit the block butten. Now I'm writing this 2 days later with no regrets. I tell myself that I'm happy and proud of myself for dealing with all this bullshit, hoping that maybe if I tell myself it enough, I'll actually believe it. The reality, in my opinion is more of a relief, knowing the harsh truth is infinitely better then being bullshitted for weeks on end.

I'm sure anybody who reads this will ask why I wrote it, or think that I'm pathetic for writing over 5000 words about someone that doesn't even have a C size bra cup. I don't really have a good reason for writing this. Maybe I'm just trying to justify the situation, or make myself feel better by writing down everything that was said to me and analyze it as best i can. Who knows, maybe i'll keep this and show it to my kid one day. I can gurantee that anyone that reads this will look at me differently...it's not that i want sympathy or pity, i saw this coming and it's my own fault....i guess i just want people to...understand maybe? This has been the biggest "I told you so" i've ever gotten when it comes to the women stereo type. Their all skanks....yes even the ones that you think are special....SKANK!

I'm sure your asking if i would ever forgive Brianna. Ummm, right now obviously I'd like to say "No", but I think thats pretty unrealistic, I'm well aware that time heals alot of things and I'm sure there will be no hard feelings eventually. I'm also not usually a guy to hold a grudge against anyone, but I don't think it will ever be the same. If she said anything that teased me the slightest i'd probley tell her to shut her tramp face and ask her how many guys she says that to a day.

I fully predict that if she reads this, she will have a way of changing the minds of anyone who reads it, somehow making me look like the bad guy and being a pathetic kid who gets attached to someone so "easily". I really don't care if she says that, she knows shes full of bullshit and she doesn't care. The only time she cares is when other people start to clue in that she is complete bullshit, and she lashes out asking them what their trying to prove, and straining their trust with one another. So I woulden't be surprised if this whole document was a waste of time for me, i've prepared myself for that, and could care less. If there is one thing that has become appearant, it's that logical thinking is always better then thinking with emotions. If I could have listened to my head, I would have bailed ship long ago, but got dragged back because my emotions weren't done beating me into a bloody pulp yet. On the topic of Brianna reading this though, I could care less if Joel or Kyle sent this to her, she knows just about all the information in here so it's not a big secret, she can deny any of it if she wants, but denial is only going to get her so far, eventually she might want to admit that she played me like a piano, and if she did I could see us being friends in the future. I'd actually be curious as to what she has to say about it, but thats not a good enough reason for me to unblock her from MSN.

Some of my closer friends have asked me what I learned through all this. It got me thinking a little bit, and i bascially said, "If someone tells you the paint is wet, the paint is fucking wet."


Update: Joel has been dating brianna for about 2 months now I guess.


EDIT: I just re-read some my parts of that and realized I might sound a little arragant in the whole story lol, I just want to state that it was a pretty rough time and I was a teeny bit pissed at alot of things that wernt going right. I guess that whole story is just my pissed off venting, and I don't want to be known as an arrogant asshole all the time :D
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
f2benny said:
I dare anyone to read all that!
Just did.......

PTW bravo buddy.....
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
Having read PTW's story, it made me want to continue with a little more detail on a couple of area's.
The first is Nicole, and how she changed my life....

It all started back in 1991, it was mid June and the 2 guys I was sharing the Villa with had a friend coming over from Germany to visit, Thorsten, one of the guys was very much in love with her, but chose not to tell her, safety zone I guess.....As for Ingo, she was his best friend for many years.

If you read above you would have heard me tell how much of an asshole I was at this time, and that panned very much so into other guys girls also, nothing felt better to me that taking a woman away from another guy, and I had done so in many instances. SO with that said, for over a month I had listened to Thorsten tell me about Nicole and how happy he was about her impending visit, and how during this time, because the setting would be right, he finally felt he would be able to tell her how he feels......

So the story begins.
We were all working at the same place, I was working up in the office on paperwork, Ingo at the front desk renting out gear, and Thorsten next door working on the mountain bikes. In she walks, I see her out of the corner of my eye, and immediatly feel the compulsion to take a better look, so I look right down at her, she looks right back at me and smiles, shit my heart sank, immediatley, oh fuck, she was amazing, those eyes, that smile, bollocks how the hell am I going to be an asshole to both her and Thorsten, because as I said I really didnt give a shit about anyone, when I felt the way I did just from looking at her.........

Thorsten and Ingo both run to greet her, hugs all round..... "Darren, come down and meet Nicole" Ingo called, "I'll be right there, let me just finish up" I replied "Kein erhalten Sie unten hier im Augenblick" shouted Nicole, thankfully I had been learning German for some time and new what she had just said, basically get down here now I want to meet you......Shit......

OK so I go down, shake her hand, throw in a few nice greetings for good measure, and we all go next door for a beer in the bar that was attached to the center....

We talk ther for about an hour or so, me really just listening as they were yapping away in German all the time, and though I could understand it, to speak it was a whole different story, that is one fucked up language, everything so back to front, and I speak English and well you may know how it goes......

The whole time they are talking and me listening, I notice Nicole looking at me several time, and each time she passes me a subtle smile, could she read my mind, could she see waht I was thinking, it was as if she knew me right from the word get go and knew what I had planned in my mind....
The fucked up thing was, as soon as I laid eyes on her, it all went away, all the pain of my breakup with Amanda, and all the evil that had engulfed me since, I actually felt like me again.....Man that was one fucked up thought in my head....

So that evening we are all sitting around the Villa, shooting the shit as you do, Thorsten, Ingo and Nicole were going out to dinner later, I had to go to work so I was unable to join them......
When I got home at around 3 am, I climbed into my bed and began to fall asleep, as I was dozing off, I hear a voice, "Sind Sie wach, kümmern sich Sie, um wenn ich mit Ihnen spreche", 'huh" I replied, "I'm sorry my English is not so good, I asked if you were awake and if I could talk to you" LOL trust me her English was bad so I have revamped it a little so you can understand.....
"Sure no problem, what's wrong?"
And so we began to talk, she started by telling me how she has been thinking about me all the time, ever since she saw me at the center.... I was a little shocked to say the least, now under normal circumstances, I would have played right into this, told her what she wanted to hear, and 30 minutes later I would have been shaggin her....I'd done it many times before so why would this be any different..... Fuck I thought, I can't do it, so instead I just played it off, and listened to what she was ssaying to me. Then I started to think, shit she's doing it to me, she wants to shag me, and is playing my game....
But no, she wasn't she was actually genuine, she was speaking from her heart. We sat there on my bed until the sun came up, we never stopped talking, we covered everything, love hate war life work the past the future everything, it was the most intense conversation I'd had in a long time.....

So needless to say I didnt get any sleep that night, as was pretty worn out the next day at work, so when the evening came around and we had all planned to go out together, I didnt have to work, instead of doing so, I made my apologies and said I'm too tired I need some sleep. This time there was a whole group of friends going out, it was actually a regular thing we all did, only this time Nicole was going with....Anyway when the time came to leave, while the others were getting ready, me and Nicole had started talking again, and instead of going, she made her apologies and told them she wanted to actually stay in and of all things, she didnt hide it, she told them she was in a really good conversation with me and wanted to continue. Needless to say Thorsten didnt look too happy, and he had that look that basically told me, " don't you fuckign dare play your games with this girl, I love her and I'll fucking kill you if you do anything to hurt her" yeah thats what that look was....
So they all left, and we started to talk more, only this time as there was no one in the villa, the conversation went more to the lines of "us"....

As we were talking I felt compelled to let her know what Thorsten had told me, and how he had feelings for her, her reply was quite a shock, see she knew all about it, she knew how he felt about her, she had done for some time, she also knew the reason that Thorsten had moved out to Lanzarote from Germany was to actually get away from those feelings.....
Thats when she dropped it all, it was actually one of the reasons she was here, she was going to tell him that she knew all about his feelings, and how wonderful it made her feel, but she was going to have to let him down, see she'd been dating a guy behind everyones back for over 3 years nows, and nobody knew about him.....

Then, fuck she had to drop in me....She began by telling me what she saw when she walked through the door at the center and how even with the appearance of Thorsten and Ingo, she only saw me, and how she knew what I was feeling inside, she told me to tell her why I was hurting so bad...What? How the fuck did she know this, " I can see it in your eyes" she told me....
So I told her....After I finsihed the whole Amanda portion of my life, she leaned into me, and kissed me, not that friendly kiss either, she kissed me with what felt like her soul, when she moved back she said this to me, and I'll never forget it to this day, they were the most heart felt beatiful words I have ever heard...."Mit diesem Kuß Ich gebe Ihnen zurück Ihr Herz, teilen Sie es mit mir, lieben Sie mich als ich liebe Dich" translation "With that kiss, I give you back your heart, share it with me, love me as I love you"

Needless to say I was speechless.....For the first time in well 18 months, my heart again began to beat.....

I was a little confused though, what about her boyfriend, she told me she loves him too, and always will, but for now, she is going to love me.....Was I getting played here......No I wasn't she was actually sincere....The conversation went on, the others came home, we all sat around for a while and finally went to bed. I was awoke sometime later by Nicole getting into bed with me, "be quiet she whispered into my ear" she then took me on a journey I will never forget, damn this woman new how to make love, she showed me things I never thought were possible, made me feel how only dreams are made off, I was lost.......

We woke early in the morning, just in time for her to leave my bed and go back to her's before the others found out, it was to be our secret for now anyway.....

The next couple of days were like many before and many to follow, work work work, we took every chance we could to talk to each other, we didnt sleep together just talked....

It was finally my day off all work, I only got one day a month for this, so I asked Nicole if she would like to spend the day with me, I would show here around the island, all the interesting places to visit, and so we set of out. I took her everywhere, all the hot spots, timinfya, the fire mountains, we had lunch at Mirador del Rio, sat on the beach and watched the surf at Famara, I took her diving at jameos del agua, great spot for underwater life....
Then somehoe we ended up at a little cove I knew about, always deserted, never anyone there, it was my place when I needed to get away from it all....

While we sat there it was getting late and the Sun had begun to set, we'd bought some wine earlier and we started talking.....Well one thing led to another, and we started to kiss....This is where it get's interesting, we hadn't noticed there was a small boat to one corner of the cove, and all of a sudden this guy comes out of the water, he'd been harpoon fishing, and was coming in to sort his catch and head home. Nicole caught the way I looked at him, and just kinda whispered in my ear a soft "hmm"....When he left we made love on the beach. I didnt think anything of the "hmm" until when we got back to the villa, and went to bed. This time she climbed right in with me, and began talking to me, only this time, she bagan talking to me about the way I looked at the guy, needless to say I was a little curious as to where she was going with this.....Then she came out with it, " you liked him didnt you" I coudn't lie to her, yes I did, "have you ever been with a man" she asked, "no I'm not gay" I told her, " I didnt ask you that, I asked if you had ever been with a man", "no" I replied. She got up and went to her room, came back and climbed into my bed again.
For those who are squeemish, or homophobic you may want to skip this paragraph.

She started to kiss me, touching me all over. I won't go into all the details, but believe me she'd rock your world too, anyway we're making love, though actually I would describe this time, more as Fucking, she was on top of me at the time, when she slipped her hand back, and slipped a finger into my ass, this was the first time anyone had ever done this to me, anyway she pushed on a certain spot and I nearly blew my load right there and then, but damn if she didnt know that and knew exactly what to do to stop me from doing so, I looked at her and she had this really strange glint in her eyes.....She reached under the pillow and I found out what she had gone to her room for, we changed position so that I was now on top of her, and she reached around me again, with a moist finger and again started to play with my ass, then she reached around a slipped a vibrator in to my ass, holy shit, guys if you've never done this, try it.......Trust me it's not a gay thing, it's a really really good thing......Anyway, as she was doing so, she began whispering in my ear, she was talking about the guy from the cove, she was descibing him to me in perfect detail, suggesting thoughts in to my head, and man it was turning me on, on we would go, me fucking her, and her now fucking me too.....When we came it was the most intense feeling I had ever had. After we had cleaned of, we climbed back into my bed, the first thing she said to me was, "you do know your Bi-sexual right".....I had to confess, no I didnt know, well yes I did, for a few years I actually thought I was gay, I'd actually known from way back in school.....

So we talked more and more, everyday, we truly fell in love with each other, we even told everyone, this is actually a funny story. Freidl, the owner of the center, and Ingo's dad, was throwing a little shin dig at the centers bar, he asked me to work that night, and Nicole suggested she would like to also. So there we are working away together, when she looked at me a certain way, we'd managed to hide what was happening from everyone to that point, well Freidl noticed the look and called Nicole over to him, the spoke for a little while, and then he called me over, "sit down" he said to me, "get me 2 beers" he said to one of the other bar tenders......"So she's in love with you huh"
I was shocked to say the least, see Freidl is one powerful man, both business wise and physically, and he knew the kind of guy I was, he actually liked me for it, I never let anything get in the way, just worked and fucked, thats it....
"Yes" I replied, "and you" he asked, "yes I love me too" trying to make a joke, then I cut myself short "yes I love her too", "good, it's about time the real you came out, you've been hurt for too long" just so you know, Freidl knew all about me, he had become like a Father to me. I was pretty shocked to say the least, but at the same time a little overwhelmed, he could see this, and gave me one of those, father son hugs and told me "Willkommen zurück, Sie sind von diesem langen Lebenweg zu weg gewesen, Liebe wieder und ist liebte in der Rückkehr" translation "welcome back, you've been away from this life way too long, love again and be loved in return"

I noticed Nicole out of the corner of my eye, she was smiling at me,my heart lifed so high at that moment....

So 2 days later, Nicole was due to leave the next day, so we all decided to go out to the Old town in Puerto del Carmen, quite the area I might say...
While there, me and Nicole talked about the future, how she was gong to go back to Germany and her boyfriend, how she would tell him all about me, they had no secrets, how she would tell him how she feel in love with me, and how that love would make their relationship so much stronger. How she would come back in a couple of months to visit me, and how I should come to Germany to visit her....Then out of the blue, she went to the bar, and came back with a guy, he joined us, we all got talking, phone number were exchanged, the little shit had fixed me up, and she knew exactly the right person....She really did know me.....
That night, we slept together, just holding each other close, and dreaming, it was the most amazing way to fall asleep, in the arms of the women who brought me back to life......

She did come back to see me, twice actually, I dated the guy from the bar for a couple of months, I'd say his name, but I try not to remember it, not because I want to forget, but because he was a special part of my life, and some memories are best left as just memories......
I went to Germany to visit her, I got to meet Franke, man what a guy, I could see why she kept him a secret for so long, they were truly in love with each other and didnt want anyone to spoil it for them.....Thorsten never did get to tell Nicole how he felt, she dealt with that, by just telling him, that she already knew, there was no need to say anything, and that she loved him too, as a friend.......

That was 14 years ago, and to this day, me and Nicole still love each other, we are best friends, we talk every chance we can, write letters to each other all the time......She married Franke in 1996, they have 2 beautiful sons, and love each other as they always have....

Thats how I learned to love again, and the story of the woman who changed my life forever, by literally bringing me back from the dead.....

PTW hope that was paragraphed a little better for you...... ;)
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
oh yeah I'll tell the other tale a little later.......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
202 Posts
UK_R6, I think we just set the record for the longest posts in SBN history (other the KH posting porn passwords in the cubby hole lol). I haven't read it yet, but i'll do that right now and post what I think.

Definately a good read for anyone with a spare couple minutes. It's actually kind of similar to how my situation was. I HATED women before I met Brianna because of a couple things I've seen them do to men and how heartless it can get. Then i opened my eyes and saw that it goes both ways, and the only real way to deal with the situation is to give the women the benefit of the doubt, that they arent all total whores, and I don't want to miss the one good one that comes my way because I judged her off of previous women.

And nice job with the paragraphs :p
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
lol....yeah KH still does hold the record for longest post.....
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Poo-tee-weet said:
It's actually kind of similar to how my situation was. I HATED women before I met Brianna because of a couple things I've seen them do to men and how heartless it can get. Then i opened my eyes and saw that it goes both ways, and the only real way to deal with the situation is to give the women the benefit of the doubt, that they arent all total whores, and I don't want to miss the one good one that comes my way because I judged her off of previous women.
dont get me wrong, i didn't hate women, i just wanted revenge for how i felt after Amanda left me, she didnt do it for another guy, she did it because it was the right thing to. To go into marriage at that point with those questions, it was destined to fall apart......

i never mentioned, several years later, i was back in the uk and visiting some friends from otley, as i was driving through town, it was the weirdest thing, i looked up at some lights i was stopped at, and there she was, crossing the road right in front of me, i looked right into her eyes, and she into mine, i fell in love with her all over, then just let it go....i dont even know if she recognised me, i was very different from how i looked when we were together.....i did ask one of our mutual friends on how she was doing. she was now married, a daughter......i was happy for her.....never did speak to her though...

As for women, they are no worse than men, as men are no worse than women, we do the same to one an other every day..... though there is one small difference, women do have the power to say yes or no and with that they hold us at their mercy. due to this they are judged by man in a way that is so unfair.... see when men say no, women get hurt, when they say no, men get pissed off.....it's unfair.....
finally to call a woman, any woman a whore, is so unbearably wrong, no woman has ever earned the right to be judged by that name, they share the same bodily functions as men, share the same needs.......granted some use this to their advantage, but at the same time so do men, men are known by the name gigolo, a man who knows and takes the time to learn how to know what women need in their life, a release for tension, a pleasure giver, a companion......a gigolo is a male prostitute, however they are more refined to life. when we look at the same picture derived of women, we men have painted and directed that picture, we have created the sleazy locations, the desirable look we crave when see a woman of the night, the outfits to the makeup and language, because of this we do not have the right to label our creation the way we have, women deserve better.......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
145 Posts
Damn, long posts...

Good stories though... my unsolicited advice would be to drop Brianna from your life, and not let her in again... Forgive her? Sure, maybe one day if you're the forgiving sort, but don't let her back in...


As for my story? Ever read one of those comic books that's like 4 pages long? That's me...

Absolutely no excitement... boring as a stick in the mud...
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
scorpion12 said:
As for my story? Ever read one of those comic books that's like 4 pages long? That's me...

Absolutely no excitement... boring as a stick in the mud...
oh come get those fingers tapping on the keys, i'm sure somewhere there has been a story worth telling within your life.....go on give us a read....
 

·
Accepting Donations
Joined
·
3,915 Posts
I've got some for you that involve abortions, cheating, fired from a job because I stopped putting out, and nearly selling my car to buy an engagement ring.

Dodged the bullets on ALL of them! Whew!
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
SalKhan said:
I've got some for you that involve abortions, cheating, fired from a job because I stopped putting out, and nearly selling my car to buy an engagement ring.

Dodged the bullets on ALL of them! Whew!
so what are you waiting for......real life stories are far more interesting to read over the fictional crap we all have to endure these days.....
i started this thread with the hope that some of the members on here would actually have something to tell, some part of their life that could make a difference to anothers, be it in the form of advice from a mistake made on someones part, or in the form of encouragement to take on that challenge you've been holding back due to the fear of..Well..Something going wrong....

i myself have been very fortunate, my life has taken me all over the world, I've seen things that most would never want to see, done things some people may dream about, some people may think they are just run of the mill. i've known people who have had such a profound effect upon my life and its outcome, and i have known others whom i have forgotten the very next day.....

so share your tale, i certainly would love to read it.....
 

·
Back in Black
Joined
·
5,538 Posts
So here's my life story starting at about age 15.

When I was 15, I decided I wanted to go back to a private Christian school that I last attended when I was in 5th grade. When I got there, I was an all around good kid that was a bad student (terrible grades). Rarely drank, didn't smoke, no drugs, still a virgin, etc. This was all about to change.

First habbit I picked up there was cigarettes... trying to be in the "in" crowd. It got my foot in the door so to speak.

Habbit number 2 I picked up started the downward spiral of my entire friggin life it seems. During P.E., we had this trail through the woods behind the school that we were allowed to walk through (until everything was heard by the principal). This is where I learned to smoke pot. In 9 months time, I went from a light pot smoker, to the biggest pot head and only pot dealer at the school. Had my "business" together as I ran the monopoly at this relatively small school (k - 12th grade and less than 600 students).

3/4th's of the way through 10th grade, my parents busted me. Took me to the police dept. with 1/4 pound of pot busted up into an infinate amount of dime bags ready to sell. FORTUNATELY, the police gave my parents a choice of pressing charges or not, and they didn't. Had they actually done so, I'd likely be locked up in prison till I was around 30 (felony amount, felony distribution, attempting to distribute, etc etc etc etc). Got out without jail time, but was forced (by the principle) to leave this Christian school. Not given the boot exactly, I had a choice. I could give up who I got the pot from (he already knew, but wanted proof), or simply, "leave" the school. Not giving up the name and staying wasn't an option, so I kindly and peacefully left. Said my good bye's to my buddies, and went back to public school (HELL!!).

Somewhere in there, I fell in love with a girl, but nothing ever became of us. I thought it was just puppy love, but 9 years later, I still have the same feelings toward her. I've now found out where she is and have talked to her as well. Now I'm about to profess my feelings to her and see what happens. Maybe it's a mistake, maybe not, but I've got to let her know even if she's un interested. Me and this chic were the closest of friends I've ever had, and everyone always told me she had feelings for me as well. Unfortunately for me at the time, I'd rather smoke pot and stay high then have a girlfriend. This is the main regrett I have in life.

From the day I got back into public school, I HATED being there with a passion. The only good (and bad, but will get to that later) thing that happened, was that I made a good friend (still friends with him today), and a girlfriend my first day there. Otherwise, I wanted to kill everyone there... I couldn't stand it there, and my attendance record and grades really showed it. I missed something like 30 or so days my 11th grade year, and failed every class except Auto Tech (made a siginificant impression on me) with grades from the 10's, to no higher than a 50 on my report card. After failing this, I went to the community college and got my GED.

Me and the girl had been dating for around 1 year now. We smoked pot together at first, but both of us got straight, and gave it up. "Cleaned" ourselves up I guess you could say.

The day after doing my final exam for my GED, I started college (2 months before I turn 18). Went into Automotive Technology. This is where I had the most fun of my life. I built several hot rods and muscle cars, made some GREAT friends (3 of which are some of my best friends today), and just had a damn blast. I STILL miss those days.... staying out till whenever in the morning, hanging with my buds, drag racing every weekend. Didn't have a care in the world.

Now, at age 19, done with college, my parents give me the boot out of their house. I wasn't following their rules by going to church every Sunday, keeping my room spotless, etc. My mom gave me a month to get out, and I was gone in less than a week.

Me and the girl I met in public school move in together and get married shortly after. She is the bad that happened to me in school. 2 weeks into dating, she cheats on me, but I didn't find out about that till 6 months later. Then, again at 3 months, she cheats, and tells me about it. I was in love, and forgave her. We get married roughly 3 years later, and it lasts for 2 years. She decided she wanted to run off with one of my best friends and fuck around with him. This fucked me up.

One month later, I started dating another chic. You know the saying, "nothing better to help get over your ex, like your next". It's true. It got me over her (for the most part). Me and this chic last just over a year. When we split, my ex came running back wanting me to let her back in. This fucked me up again, but I declined. She's fucked around before, she'll prolly do it again.

2 months after that, I met Crissy. I had actually met her before at a party I had 9 months prior, but we went on a date now. We were dating for about 4 months when she got pregnant.... 2 weeks after I got my new bike. I thought my life was over. Couldn't eat for a month, was going to TRY to sell the bike I just got, etc. 9 months later, here she is. A beutiful baby girl which I now love and adore with all my heart.

After having the baby, I didn't know how to "be". I was very distant from my girlfriend (Wasn't yet married), and distant from my child. The constant crying from the child, the constant bitching from my girlfriend, I just coudlnt' handle it at the time. So I didn't. I went fishing and riding as much as possible so I wouldn't have to here either. I was a dick for it, and now realize it.

After I realized my fuck up, I started being a good daddy and we got married. I was trying my ass off to be a good father, a good husband, and a good guy. All my effort seems like it was in vein as me and my wife split (2 months ago). She blames me saying I wasn't paying enough attention to her and didn't want to have fun. 'Scuse me, but I was friggin busting my ass trying to pay bills, but nothings good enough for her. She was too busy out partying and fuckin around with her boyfriends to even care about me (yes, I'm still a little spiteful about this). Sometime in the middle of our marriage, we split up, and got back together.

This is the one chic that fucked me up more than anything or anyone else in the world. Not just her leaving, but my child as well. I've spent many nights contemplating suicide and wondering if that would make it better for everyone. It seems obvious to me that I'm destined to be sad for the rest of my life, so why hurt anyone else? The suicidal thoughts are leaving, but now the rage is coming. I'm so pissed off at my wife, my life, how I feel God is really screwing me over. It sucks.

Today, my life isn't that great. My friends are always to busy to hang, my job pays garbage, and it seems I'm doomed to fail in any relationship whatsoever. I have no one I can talk to about my feelings, and it blows. The ONLY thing that keeps me going is my child. If it weren't for her, I really think I'd give up on everything.



So there you have it....my sad, boring life story. Anybody want to trade lives with me?
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
TRaGiK said:
So there you have it....my sad, boring life story. Anybody want to trade lives with me?
No, but if you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to buzz me on AIM nic=fygtbug. I know what you have gone through in the latter part of your story, I too hit rock bottom for a while also.
But I did something I needed to do and 5 months later, I haven't felt this good in 4 years.....

Thankyou for sharing.....
 

·
Back in Black
Joined
·
5,538 Posts
This for me is below rock bottom. It seems as if I'm in hell's hell at times. Thanks for the offer tho... i may take you up on it.
 

·
Head Rooster
Joined
·
3,438 Posts
Man. Where to start is the good question. If this isn't limited to dating, marriage, and sex life I guess I could start at age 7 and do my journey on becomming a weapon. Sure why the hell not. It ought to be amusing at the least.

So here it little ASCI at age 7 interested in martial arts (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles owned too btw) and my parents decided that if I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it right. We found a dojo in the town I lived in and got me signed up. After many years of determination and the like ASCI finds something he's quite good at although it did strip me of my finer human points.

Fast forward ~7 years and age 14. I discover that women are quite a bit different than men and sometimes share the same hobbies. I met a little cutie one day who happened to be into computers and blowing shit up in Doom and we talked like an old married couple. After a few weeks of goading we finally entered a relationship and I was brought up from a dark place kicking and screaming. Sadly this ended and her and I continued to date on and off for 2 years. During these two years I met another lovely young lady..or rather remet and we hooked up for 3 months before it went to the shitter.

Fast forward to my senior year, I decided to enlist in the Army as an infantryman and do dumb things like jump out of planes. Met another charming lass and started dating her. This lasted approximatly a year and a half and I discovered what an enjoyable experience sex was. Wee.

Soon after I shipped off to Fort Benning, GA (the land that god forgot) and again persued becomming a weapon. Did pretty fucking well too until some soft tissue damage to my back (back muscles for those not in the know) and went to a really deep dark place. This made good for hiding but bad for civilian life which happened to me almost 6 months after I enlisted, the Army isn't too interested in fixing E-1's. I moved to Bend(over) Oregon.

In Bend I came to a somewhat disturbing revelation: I didn't speak the same language as civilians. I learned this when I started going to college to build up my brain power and allow my body to repair itself. I got smart and again met some charming ladies via the internet this time, most of them old friends from NY. Some of them and I, espically one who's name is Alison got attached and once again I owe a woman gratitude from bringing me back to being warm from the depths of my mind. That was fairly short lived though but it's okay. We're still good friends.

Next up came Tina, her and I still talk frequently. Quite the charming lass as well, and she was fun. Again with the 'net thing, we were 'dating' for approximatly a year and a half, we DID meet. I took a trip to Nebraska for a week at the same time as I applied for a cop job out there. Me being the one point wunder failed to qualify buy..you guessed it one point. I returned to OR battered but not broken. This was just after Osama kicked us in the balls and I returned home to make something of myself. Her and I dated for about 3 more months before "Merry Christmas, you're single!"

After that I landed some various crap jobs, got laid or blown by a couple of cute and fun chicks but nothing lasting. Onto...

Yet another job, stuck with this one for a while, cool shit cause I got to carry a gun. Pay sucked but that's okay. Eventually got hurt (not job related) and had two titanium plates and a chunk of bone from my hip put into my paw. This period was interesting mostly due to being a cripple and having to really become a lefty rather than an ambidexterous person. When I woke up from being rebuilt the doc asked me if I had any questions. In an almost puking state thanks to the anesthesia I asked "Yeah did I get the titanium?" he gaped at me in awe and said yes. Against all odds I healed in 4 months, no problems, the skin graft I have even retained it's hair follacles and grows hair 2 years later. After healing I decided that it was time to show the wold that I can take a firm kick in the nuts and stand back up. I bought my bike in cash. During this time I met another lovely lady from Arizona named Angelica (Angel) through an online dating service who was her namesake. She stuck with me through the rough times and kept me motivated. Sadly that one ended too after I was healed and had shown interest in moving to Vegas where she moved to.

A few months after this I met Katie. She was an interesting girl. Killer personality, okay body, fun to be around, etc etc etc. We started dating and had a lot of good times. She got into shooting, got me into anime and manga. We stuck togeather for a year and 8 months when we broke up by my choice due to her being overly clingy and having known and had a number of months to correct the situation. I took 3 months to make that decision and it came to a very quick end. We talk on occasion.

Now I currently work in retail as loss prevention, which almost might be cool. I'm trying to hook up with a coworker who again is a charming petite blonde with a killer personality who seems to know how these things work with almost no experience and she's 6 years younger than I am. I've also recently decided to try and get some of my other internal affairs in order in reguards to attracting women and getting a well paying job and in a month or so will probably be a Bail Enforcement Officer or more commonly known as a bounty hunter.

I have to admit that life stories sure are different while telling them than they are when you're just thinking about them. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
 
1 - 20 of 68 Posts
Top