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Girls, Why do you rebound?? I dont get it..

I met a girl shes 28 and she was great, she rode sportbikes ect and everything was going wonderful. Heres the catch, she was married but sperated when we met and we had to keep quiet about it becuase her ex is a psycho. So we continuously dated ect. we were really getting along. She came down and we met up at least 4 times a week. Well then she came down and i got a tatoo and we decided that i should move up to chicago, so we moved in together in a condo in Orland Park. Everything was great. We went out and i bought a bike, we bought a dog together, did the familty plan on our cell phones and had a healthy relationship. Well i was still a secret to her husband to soon be divorced to even though he alreayd had a new girlfriend. Well time came to go to court to get divorce finalized after 2 months of being with her. So that was a wensday. On thursday we go to the bike shop and i buy her a 400.00 shift riding jacket and some gloves. Meanwhile since i had met her i sent flowers to her work once a week on suprise days. I pa all my bills by myself and i never asked her for anything. That thursday i decided that i would cook her diiner so i made steak and pootatoes and we drunks ome whine.. well then she decideds to go to bed to get some ass ( by this point it was a task to get any) and she seems bothered so we started talking and she keeps saying that maybe i would be happier at home ect. im like wtf.. So it finally comes dow that i have to experience thngs in my life that she already has and that i cant learn in a few weeks or months but in years and that are age difference is a factor. And then she proceeds to tell me she doesnt want anything to serious becuase she has alot of pressure on her right now ect.. so this pisses me off.. And the next day i come home and give her a day then we talked on the phone and she breaks up wth me.. so i guess this is freedom right?? well then how come all i can do is think about her. To make matters worse today i find out that she went on a date sunday with a guy she et the day after we broke up. Why would she tell me that. Whats wrong with you woman.
All of this after i quit my Good paying graphic design job at my home town. and packe dup my stuff becase she "loved" me.
Thanks for listening...

Peace
 

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So now YOU have to get yourself together and take care of YOU. It will hurt for a while, but eventually you will get over her. The secret to a successful relationship is that you each have to live your own lives...together. You can't live your life for her, nor she for you. You each have to travel your own paths through life, but be traveling companions. If you keep your head about you and keep looking, you will find one
 

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Good luck for the future mate.
 

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i dunno why girls rebound i think it helps heal us. rebounding sucks im on the rebound and it pisses me off. im not myself. u sound sweet. sorry about your lady. member shit happens. live and learn
 

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Do what she said pal, it'll benefit you more than you know. Had this talk with a potential yesterday. I'm not sure what I'm more pissed about missing it or the fact that she's right.
 

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OK the statement that sticks in my mind is this "Why do YOU women do this"? as if men don't?! Please.

Look I'm sorry that she pulled this but not ALL women do the lousy crap that you just described. I can tell you one reason as to why women rebound and that is to see if we still got "it". Yes "it". It might be a case where her ex cheated and it made her feel as if it had something to do with her. Which more then likely didn't. HE prolly cheated cuz he could. She's going to think that it might of been her body, looks, is she getting fat, blah blah blah etc etc... So by going out and meeting someone, seeing that she can still get guys to buy her things, send her flowers AND for the most part that you are younger then herself, made her feel better. For us older women, having a your guy all over us IS THE SHIT!!!

The first red flag for me would of been that you STILL had to keep it quiet from her ex, whether he be a psycho or not. If she was legally separated at the time then there should be NO reason for either one of you to hide it. I'm really sorry that she hurt you, and I promise you will get over it, but don't generalize and say or think "ALL" women do these things. It'll only make you jaded toward other women that don't deserve it. From what I can see, seems like you're one hell of a guy. Don't let what she did affect you to a point that you turn into a dick.
 

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ZX-6R said:
Girls, Why do you rebound?? I dont get it..

I met a girl shes 28 and she was great, she rode sportbikes ect and everything was going wonderful. Heres the catch, she was married but sperated when we met and we had to keep quiet about it becuase her ex is a psycho. So we continuously dated ect. we were really getting along. She came down and we met up at least 4 times a week. Well then she came down and i got a tatoo and we decided that i should move up to chicago, so we moved in together in a condo in Orland Park. Everything was great. We went out and i bought a bike, we bought a dog together, did the familty plan on our cell phones and had a healthy relationship. Well i was still a secret to her husband to soon be divorced to even though he alreayd had a new girlfriend. Well time came to go to court to get divorce finalized after 2 months of being with her. So that was a wensday. On thursday we go to the bike shop and i buy her a 400.00 shift riding jacket and some gloves. Meanwhile since i had met her i sent flowers to her work once a week on suprise days. I pa all my bills by myself and i never asked her for anything. That thursday i decided that i would cook her diiner so i made steak and pootatoes and we drunks ome whine.. well then she decideds to go to bed to get some ass ( by this point it was a task to get any) and she seems bothered so we started talking and she keeps saying that maybe i would be happier at home ect. im like wtf.. So it finally comes dow that i have to experience thngs in my life that she already has and that i cant learn in a few weeks or months but in years and that are age difference is a factor. And then she proceeds to tell me she doesnt want anything to serious becuase she has alot of pressure on her right now ect.. so this pisses me off.. And the next day i come home and give her a day then we talked on the phone and she breaks up wth me.. so i guess this is freedom right?? well then how come all i can do is think about her. To make matters worse today i find out that she went on a date sunday with a guy she et the day after we broke up. Why would she tell me that. Whats wrong with you woman.
All of this after i quit my Good paying graphic design job at my home town. and packe dup my stuff becase she "loved" me.
Thanks for listening...

Peace
if u did it because SHE loved YOU then u did it for the wrong reason, babe....you did for a chance at love and a long lasting relationship...its always a risk when u get involved with anyone...esp someone going through a divorce/break up....if you were happy when you were with her then it should've been worth it...even now that its over...move on if she no longer has room for you or the desire to have you in her life....

maybe shes just emotionally confused...try to talk to her if this relationship is something you want...but don't try to get her back if its just to make your move be something that was worthwhile...
 

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It sounds like you guys were together for only 2+ months. I know you can't cry over spilled milk but I wouldn't have give up my job, packed up, and moved to be with someone who's still legally married (regardless of their intentions to finalize the divorce) and who I've only been with a short time. That's just crazy. It sounds like you got caught up in the lust factor and moved too fast. You live and learn. We all do.
 

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It must be something in the Chicago water....I've known my (now) ex boyfriend for 3 years.....things got really serious with us this year, I planned on moving up there at the end of the year.....last week I get an E-MAIL telling me it's a bad idea to move up there and that was all the explanation I got so it's not only girls that pull shit like that. Sorry to hear about your misfortune but like I keep telling myself.....you live and you learn, it sucks but life goes on. Try to move back home and pick up where you left off. Good Luck! :)
 

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you're an idiot for quitting a good paying job, and moving half way across the country for a chick you've known for 2months.
 

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And if she was still married but separated, she is still not supposed to have sexual relations with another man. I believe that's the law.
Here in NC , there is still an old law on the books called "Alienation of Affection" and you can sue the guily party.

'Alienation of Affection' Lawsuits A Backward Relic

By Brian Carnell

Monday, May 1, 2000

ABC News' 20/20 show recently reported (Thief of Hearts) on a phenomenon that should have died at the end of the 19th century -- the alienation of affection lawsuit. Alienation of affection is a common law legal remnant of a period when women were considered little more than property of their husbands. Since a wife was property, stealing a wife was theft, and hence alienation of affection allowed aggrieved men to sue a man who lured his wife into leaving him, thereby depriving him of his rightful property.

A lot has thankfully changed in the past 200 years, but unbelievably alienation of affection remains in the law codes of 9 states -- and people are suing each other using it.

In the case 20/20 reported on, a man left his wife after 9 years of marriage after a woman he met at a business convention pursued him by writing him letters. The aggrieved ex-wife, Candie Vessel, sued her husband's new flame, Cathy Nolen and won a half million dollar legal judgment from a Utah jury. In an infamous 1997 North Carolina alienation of affection lawsuit, a woman won $1 million from her ex-husband's lover. And don't think it's just women using the law. In 1997 a North Carolina jury awarded Jacques Moryoussef $250,000 after he sued another man for alienation of affection after Moryoussef's wife left him -- part of that included a $50,000 award for acts of adultery committed by the other man with Moryoussef's wife.



http://www.equityfeminism.com/archives/years/2000/000008.html
 

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Kazlab, correct me if I'm wrong, but I could have sworn that there's no such thing as "common law" in NC anymore.
 

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Not sure man, I had heard this story years ago and just looked it up. Always found NC law a little odd. Like the Prayer for Judgement, thats like Old English law.
 

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Who the fuck would want to move to Chicago? I mean you're already that far North, just go to Canada instead.
 

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You poor bastard. I'm sorry she did this to you. This could beone reason i don't like to open my feelings emotions up to people. For some reason i think i would have kept my job at home. Just wondering but what is your skill at scoring and meeting with new women. People that jump into this strike me as not being good with the oposite sex.........
 

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Im not sure what that is all about i mean i wasn't there.
All i know is i don't know about the rebound thing cause when i got out of my last releationship i didn't want a bf or anything. I wanted to go to school and do for me for once. I hated guys for a while. I just had close friends and all. Im not sure what to say but im sorry that this happened to you. My releationship i should say marriage now is something was not looking for it fell into my lap.
Her loss man, she will bite it in the end not you. you did all that you could. She doesnt know what she wants!
 

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I think age plays a factor. I used to do the rebound thing when I was younger. Now, if a relationship has ended...I enjoy having my life back. :)
 
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