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Top Ten Ways to tell your HMO is going bankrupt

10...Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9...Directions to your doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
8...Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
7...Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6...Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day."
5...Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4..."Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
3...The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2...With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little m's on them.
1...When you ask for Viagra, you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
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