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This week's Harley Bashing...
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I like the added detail of "new" on #13:
Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
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That's crazy talk.
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agree its usually the bikes that are 1-3 years old, only 100-500 miles on the clock. a bunch of posers.
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I almost ran over a Harley beret when i rode past a harley themed bar (yes we have them here) two weeks ago on our last nice day, the parking lot overflowed into an area on the other side of the street.
i saw it in my peripheral as i was watching for bikes going in and out, i wish i had seen it sooner :lao
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At the shop that I have my tires installed, they do mostly customization (read: completely fuck up) of large cc bikes. When getting new tires this past spring, I made a comment about getting my first set of tires for the season, and it shocked one of the other customers. I think he made some kind of comment about doing burnouts. I explained to him that I will put around 10k miles in a year on my little 250, so I will have to get another new rear before the season was out (which I did). He said that he probably doesn't ride that much in 10 years.
I don't get it. Why the crap would you spend as much money as a bike costs to not ride it? That is a pretty freaking expensive image.
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It really doesn't matter to me where a person rides. A huge chunk of my miles comes from commuting to work. Hell, it really doesn't matter to me if they don't ride. It just really doesn't make since to me to put out the money if you AREN'T going to ride.:dunno
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