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Should paternity be tested at birth?

  • Yes, I'm a guy and want to know absolutley!

    Votes: 23 63.9%
  • No, I'm a guy and believe in trust.

    Votes: 7 19.4%
  • Yes, I'm a woman and it leaves no doubt for the man.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No, I'm a woman and don't think it's good for the relationship.

    Votes: 2 5.6%
  • I'm a guy and fixed (or going to be) so I don't need to worry about it.

    Votes: 4 11.1%

  • Total voters
    36
21 - 39 of 39 Posts

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RESIDENT ASSHOLE
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BusaDave said:
Hmmm...

...aren't there MEN involved in your scenario?

That view is a bit myopic, and appears on the surface to be a bit sexist in that you seem to be totally discounting the contribution of womens' roles in nurturing children. That aside, the issue is that the laws are focused (or should be focused) on what's best for the CHILDREN in these situations. There will be no perfect solution once these situations are created. One thing is for sure, the children had no part in creating this situation and they are ALWAYS the ones who are most adversely affected.


All the more reason why the choice to marry and whom to marry is likely the most important decision you will ever make, second only to having children.
How is my view point myopic?

You mean to tell me that its more short sighted to think that men should have some kind of measures to protect them? Arent you in the stone age with that kind of thinking?

How can you justify any of what happened to this guy?
 

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Spoonin' leads to Forkin'
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If it is not your offspring and you chose not to support said child then that should be it. Is it the guys fault he was deceived and lied to by a whore? Why should he be punished? The best interest of the child you say? Is it the best interest in the child that you found out his mother fucked another guy and deceived you, now you hold resentment towards the child b/c of her? That sounds like a good idea. Set your own personal morals to the side and put yourself in the situation. Could you honestly say you would gladly give away part of you paycheck to something you had nothing to do with? What about the childs boi father? Hello...isn't that covered in the law. You conceived, you are responsible. It is unfortunate for the child, but don't make the guy pay for his mothers mistakes.
 

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Official SBN Party Pooper
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BusaDave said:
Hmmm...

...aren't there MEN involved in your scenario?
Men aren't the one's lying, they are being lied to, deceived on the agenda of the women. How is that in the best interest of the child?



That view is a bit myopic, and appears on the surface to be a bit sexist in that you seem to be totally discounting the contribution of womens' roles in nurturing children. That aside, the issue is that the laws are focused (or should be focused) on what's best for the CHILDREN in these situations. There will be no perfect solution once these situations are created. One thing is for sure, the children had no part in creating this situation and they are ALWAYS the ones who are most adversely affected.
Again, had the women been HONEST at the beginning of this scenario and wasn't selfish you wouldn't have to worry about affecting the child. I don't see how women could morally sit there and just "pick" a dad for her kid if she has been with say 3 different guys during the time of conception.

That's not fair to anyone. And because the women made that decision the guy has to go through hell and high water to try and rectify it.
 

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hybrid said:
How can you justify any of what happened to this guy?
I'm not trying to justify what happened to this guy. I am addressing the whole "women are whores" attitude you directly stated, along with the "she gets to stay home and fuck me out of money" attitude.

I am addressing the generic "should genetic testing be mandatory" question.

If you want the kind of relationship based on mistrust of your wife in order to assure that you are the father, then by all means, knock yourself out. My suggestion would be to put this in a prenuptual agreement rather than pop it after marrying and having a child.

Aren't you one of the "keep the government out of my business" crowd?
 

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Rascus said:
Men aren't the one's lying, they are being lied to, deceived on the agenda of the women. How is that in the best interest of the child?
You don't really mean to imply that women have not suffered at the lies and agendas of men, do you?

The best interest of the child is to be determined by a court in the absence of a "normal" household. The fact that women prevail in custody suits has as much to do with real-life parental roles as it does with any kind of conspiracy. Most of the laws you are complaining about were established by and are enforced by a legal and political system dominated primarily by men.

Are there injustices? Sure, and they should be minimized. The presumption of fatherhood based upon marriage and lack of paternal challenge, is based upon the concept of marriage as a trust relationship. Using the scenario of financial and emotional support of a child for three or more years, the presumption on everyones' part is the father is the husband. Once this presumption is incorrect, the "best interest" of the child has to be determined by a court. Their job is to minimize the fallout of adult decisions on the life of the child whether at the expense of the adults or not.
 

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RESIDENT ASSHOLE
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BusaDave said:
I'm not trying to justify what happened to this guy. I am addressing the whole "women are whores" attitude you directly stated, along with the "she gets to stay home and fuck me out of money" attitude
Oh but Dave.........it does happen way too often. And believe me I am not jaded on the subject. My paternal father left my mother with four kids and not a dime...........

You can seriously think its alright to put one adult in the poor house while the other is fine because that one has custody. When parents divorce the cost should be split straight down the middle and I aint talking about the house. Housing should be addressed but it should be equal in that respect as well.

BusaDave said:
I am addressing the generic "should genetic testing be mandatory" question.
Notice I didnt vote........I dont think that testing should be mandatory but I sure as hell dont think there should be a time limit on it either. In fact I think the woman should be liable if found to have decieved the "father"

BusaDave said:
If you want the kind of relationship based on mistrust of your wife in order to assure that you are the father, then by all means, knock yourself out. My suggestion would be to put this in a prenuptual agreement rather than pop it after marrying and having a child.
Well seeing how the government is fucking this one up..........Im going to assume that I need to do something like this or just not have any damn kids like I planned already.

BusaDave said:
Aren't you one of the "keep the government out of my business" crowd?
Damn skippy I am but the government doesnt like that answer when you get divorced
 

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BusaDave said:
You don't really mean to imply that women have not suffered at the lies and agendas of men, do you?
Not at all. But the guy can't use the kid as a pawn saying the child is theirs when in reality it isn't. I think that lying about what you thought was your own flesh and blood and holding the guy hostage about it for years trumps most lies guys could ever conceive.

The best interest of the child is to be determined by a court in the absence of a "normal" household. The fact that women prevail in custody suits has as much to do with real-life parental roles as it does with any kind of conspiracy. Most of the laws you are complaining about were established by and are enforced by a legal and political system dominated primarily by men.
Times and laws need to change then. The court should look at the mother and father as a "neutral" gender and looks at the fact of the case. Right now the guy is already down 10-0 because he is the "guy" wouldn't most call that discrimination?
 

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RESIDENT ASSHOLE
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Im with ya man.............
 

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RESIDENT ASSHOLE
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Rascus said:

Uh yeah.............I think this shit is a total crock and there are a few things about how the law controlled from old ass viewpoints.

Most of those laws were created when men also controlled the work force and women were stay at home mom/homemakers. Consequently the viewpoint is that the woman should be able to stay at home and get a gigantic portion of the mans salary.

Too bad in todays society, it usually takes both parents to have income to live even somewhat comfortably.

This dude got fucked and I personaly would have just said "Fine, since the kid is now mine, how bout I fucking kill the whore and raise him by myself, its obvious to me that she doesnt have good moral judgement anyways"
 

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Discussion Starter #32
jiandersen76 said:
If you need a paternity test at the time of delivery to answer any questions you may have, you shouldn't be married in the first place.

I like the fact that this prick raises the child for 3 years (before the divorce) then walks away and does not want to support him/her. Must be a heartless bastard to turn his back on the child that knows only him as dad.
Must be a heartless bitch to step out on her husband in the first place. Did you miss the part that they were married and the child was conceived during the marriage? His wife cheated, got pregnant by someone other than her husband, and carried the child to term as if nothing happened. As if there was no question to the paternity. The guy trusted his wife, had faith in her, and got shafted for it. If she couldn't or did not want to live up to her vows, why didn't she divorce before the child was conceived?

jiandersen76 said:
Paternity does not constitute fatherhood.
Nor does child support.
 

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Discussion Starter #33
hybrid said:
This dude got fucked and I personaly would have just said "Fine, since the kid is now mine, how bout I fucking kill the whore and raise him by myself, its obvious to me that she doesnt have good moral judgement anyways"
It's funny that the court decided the ruling was in the best interest of the child. Rulings like this will likely give the FINANCIAL father this type of resentment toward the childs mother and possibly the child.

I asked for opinions from both sides. I got them. Although more women's responses that were a little more well thought would have been appreciated.
 

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I think they should do this in my little brothers case he started dating a girl with 5 kids already. They've been together for about three maybe three and a half months. She supposed to have been fixed after her last kid but magicaly she is pregnant. from her given due date it probably realy isn't my brothers but he is all excited, wich is good but only if it is his. On top of it all she's got him convinced to ditch his F2 I can't believe how bad he is brainwashed on the kid and the bike I mean I got two kids only income from me is 36,000 and we get by and still have money with all of our toys. maybe something like this kind of thing would help more people traped by scandalous hood rats.
 

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Nurse Nymphette
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Oni said:
I asked for opinions from both sides. I got them. Although more women's responses that were a little more well thought would have been appreciated.
Are you saying that any of the responses from women weren't thought out? Kind of judgemental aren't we?!
Maybe you didn't see the response you wanted?

It's a tough situation and having never been in that position it is really difficult for me to say how I feel. I know I feel sorry for the child first and foremost. I think if the woman knew without a doubt it wasn't her spouses she was deceitful. As for the man I do feel feel sorry for him as well.
My question would be, does finding out that the child isn't his biological child suddenly make him stop caring for the child? I am not saying that the man should have to pay for a child that isn't his but I don't really see the emotional or psychological issues truly and clearly addressed here.
 

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Discussion Starter #36
AnKleBiTer said:
Are you saying that any of the responses from women weren't thought out? Kind of judgemental aren't we?!
Maybe you didn't see the response you wanted?

It's a tough situation and having never been in that position it is really difficult for me to say how I feel. I know I feel sorry for the child first and foremost. I think if the woman knew without a doubt it wasn't her spouses she was deceitful. As for the man I do feel feel sorry for him as well.
My question would be, does finding out that the child isn't his biological child suddenly make him stop caring for the child? I am not saying that the man should have to pay for a child that isn't his but I don't really see the emotional or psychological issues truly and clearly addressed here.
Oni said:
Although more women's responses that were a little more well thought would have been appreciated.
My post of reference was quoted earlier. In appearance, some responses from women were based purely in emotion and not logic. So call me judgemental if you like. No less judgemental than the "prick" comment made by another poster.

Does it make the guy stop caring less about the child to discover the child is not his? Likely not. Maybe some of the guy will pipe in on that question. Does it make him financially responsible? I don't think so because he wasn't there for the deed. I don't think many women would care to have someone else's child's fiscal responsibility forced on them. Could be wrong though.

To answer some of your other questions (also not being in the situation but based on those I have):
A guy can be in a relationship with a woman that has children knowing that they are not his and have very strong emotional ties to the child. This is a situation I've personally been in. When we split I missed the child more than I did her. Actually made a point of avoiding any women with children because of the fact. The child knew exactly who her biological father was and her mother had primary physical custody. For nearly three years I was "Daddy". She chose to call me that one day out of the blue and it stuck. I was the one that fed, bathed, read bedtime stories, was there when she took her first steps, etc. Believe it or not after over ten years of not being with her mother I still miss her (the child). My current SO has a 19 year old. He's currently off serving his country. I'm not his father and he has a great relationship with his father and my SO her EX. He's not my kid but damned if I wouldn't be heartbroken if anything ever happened to him.

As for the thread itself, one of my best friends was the other guy in an identical situation. The women was married, had a one night stand with him, he didn't take any precautions (dumbass). Three years later he gets a letter from the DA pertaining to his one night of passion because the women's husband decided to divorce. He explains the situation to me and asks, "what do I do?" My response was, "if the child is yours, take care of your business and be there for your kid!" Turns out it was was my friend's child and not her husband's. My friend in question has never missed a payment since he got the results and spends as much time as possible with his daughter. The differnce in his case was she cheated, it became known later, and the proper male had to take on his responsibility.

It actually matters more (than any responses to the thread) that guys see this thread because their rights are sorely lacking in this area.
 

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Discussion Starter #37
2wheels4ever said:
I think they should do this in my little brothers case he started dating a girl with 5 kids already. They've been together for about three maybe three and a half months. She supposed to have been fixed after her last kid but magicaly she is pregnant. from her given due date it probably realy isn't my brothers but he is all excited, wich is good but only if it is his. On top of it all she's got him convinced to ditch his F2 I can't believe how bad he is brainwashed on the kid and the bike I mean I got two kids only income from me is 36,000 and we get by and still have money with all of our toys. maybe something like this kind of thing would help more people traped by scandalous hood rats.
If he chooses to marry and adopt the 5 kids then he knowingly takes on that responsibilty. That should be his choice if the children are not biolically his. As for the one on the way. He should get the test done. Then he knows where he stands. If the child on the way is his he should take care of his business and be the best possible father he can. If it's not his he needs to run like hell. Then she needs to track down the real father and hold him responsible.
 

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Shouldn't they test the mother too? These days, with medical technologies, any pyscho chick can blackmail any man.
Your Thoughts?
:popcorn
 
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