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For those with actual information or experience, do you think that a separation always results in divorce? Any stories of couples living happily ever after after a separation. My wife and I are going to separate, and I am wondering if this is it for good. We love each other, but she's just not happy with her lot in life. She thinks that because she's not happy, it must be the marriage that has failed her.
 

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Back in Black
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Well dude, hate to break the news to you, but...

Seperation almost always ends up in divorce. You might possibly get back together for a while, but in the end, divorce will likely happen.

1st wife of mine - Seperated, 1 year later, divorced. After divorce was done, she then tried to come back to me. Didn't happen.

2nd wife - Seperated once, got back together, now seperated again for about 2 months. Looks like divorce will most likely happen, and I've finally accepted it.

All my friends that seperated from their wife, ended up being divorced as well.
 

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No limit hypocrite
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yeah sorry.. Divorce it is dude.... My parents, friends parents, and personal experience.. once the trust is gone and results in seperation, you can never get that trust back. You may get back together, but it wont last, and you'll end up seperated / divorced again.. Call it quits, and keep the friendship.. To much apart - together - apart stuff, and it will make you hate each other... hope for the best man.
 

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I have been divorced twice. I asked my wife for the same space which gave me a chance to do what I really wanted to, and that was to go else where. Not that I am saying this is your situation, but that is what I would say to get my space, and freedom.
 

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Bro, it depends on how you guys handle it and why you are seperating. My mom and my stepdad seperated several times. The last time, my mom told him that if he didn't change his ways, it was over. That was 12 years ago, they are happier than they have ever been now. They used to beat the shit out of eachother, call the cops on eachother, all sorts of shit. Now, they barely argue. It all depends on just what you guys want out of the relationship, and how much you both are willing to give/change to stay together. I hope everything works out.
 

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f2benny said:
For those with actual information or experience, do you think that a separation always results in divorce? Any stories of couples living happily ever after after a separation. My wife and I are going to separate, and I am wondering if this is it for good. We love each other, but she's just not happy with her lot in life. She thinks that because she's not happy, it must be the marriage that has failed her.

Ok dude I know what youre going through. Me and my wife did the same thing about 5 months ago.. she was unhappy, didnt feel that she loved me etc..

She moved back in with her parents and took my kids with her, sure I seen the kids every day or so. I thought it was the end of the world.. and it took me a week or so to get my head straight. She was gone about a month and half, after a few weeks we started to kind of like just go out on a date we talked, etc.. long story short she realized she loves me and wanted to make it work and come back.

The key was to give her the space.. dont act like youre dying or that you cant live without her. You need to keep an attitude that if you come back and want to work on us then great if not then thats ok too. Trust me.. if you cry and beg her to come back and make it work, it will push it further away. I know its hard as hell but there is something about when you stand on your feet and tell her "I am ok with or without you" 90% of the time they want it with you. I had to goto a to a shrink to realize this so I am saving you 90 bucks an hour.. his advice was golden.. Women like to see men that are independent, strong, decisive etc.. and I tell you it is true.

Anyway sorry to hear that news.. but take it from me its not the end of the world as much as it seems. Good luck and msg me if you need to chat bro..
 

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If you haven't done so already, I recommend counseling. There has to be a reason why she isn't happy. Perhaps if you can find that answer you can work through whatever it is without separation.
 

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wangsta said:
The key was to give her the space.. dont act like youre dying or that you cant live without her. You need to keep an attitude that if you come back and want to work on us then great if not then thats ok too. Trust me.. if you cry and beg her to come back and make it work, it will push it further away. I know its hard as hell but there is something about when you stand on your feet and tell her "I am ok with or without you" 90% of the time they want it with you. I had to goto a to a shrink to realize this so I am saving you 90 bucks an hour.. his advice was golden.. Women like to see men that are independent, strong, decisive etc.. and I tell you it is true.
I am a female and I can tell you first hand this is true. Take this advice with a grain of salt.
 

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f2benny said:
For those with actual information or experience, do you think that a separation always results in divorce? She thinks that because she's not happy, it must be the marriage that has failed her.
Just my opinion here so take it as a grain of salt, but a separation is usually the end of the marriage, it's a nice way of saying it's over. The Big D is on the way. And as far as she feeling that the marriage has failed her, I say BS, thats just the old shame and blame game. "U didn't make me happy", I want a divorce. How about, did she make u HAPPY!

party on people.
 

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What they said is true dude.Get your ducks in a row now before you get teken to the cleaners.


Edit:
And don't you dare for no reason what so ever let her see or hear of you with another woman.At your age,I would think you have a lot to loose.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Good stuff keep it coming. I have a very good understanding of my wife and her issues, which I've kept short for brevity. Infidelity is not an issue on either side, but some deep unresolved issues of loss on her part and difficulty being fully supportive on mine. We both love each other. I would stay and try to rekindle, she would rather have some time to check out her feelings. I'm smart enough to not beg, and know I'll do fine with or without her. I have done all I can for her, and can go with my head held high. I'd deeply regret the breakup of the family, but not mourn the marriage.
 

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My wife and I separated for four months last year. We're back together now, and I think we're both happier, but there's a lot of residual depression in me that it even happened.

You will have to be happy with youreself with or without her. Then you have to decide that you want her to be happy with or without you. Whether you get back together or not, both of these will help a lot.
 

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wangsta said:
Ok dude I know what youre going through. Me and my wife did the same thing about 5 months ago.. she was unhappy, didnt feel that she loved me etc..

She moved back in with her parents and took my kids with her, sure I seen the kids every day or so. I thought it was the end of the world.. and it took me a week or so to get my head straight. She was gone about a month and half, after a few weeks we started to kind of like just go out on a date we talked, etc.. long story short she realized she loves me and wanted to make it work and come back.

The key was to give her the space.. dont act like youre dying or that you cant live without her. You need to keep an attitude that if you come back and want to work on us then great if not then thats ok too. Trust me.. if you cry and beg her to come back and make it work, it will push it further away. I know its hard as hell but there is something about when you stand on your feet and tell her "I am ok with or without you" 90% of the time they want it with you. I had to goto a to a shrink to realize this so I am saving you 90 bucks an hour.. his advice was golden.. Women like to see men that are independent, strong, decisive etc.. and I tell you it is true.

Anyway sorry to hear that news.. but take it from me its not the end of the world as much as it seems. Good luck and msg me if you need to chat bro..
+1000000
so true brudda im divorce now but I sorta push her that way too i guess the ultamatium thing well I got answer maybe not the answer i wanted but oh well 2 stubborn peeps = no head way anyway better off in the end, but i stress man if you want to make it work just back away and see what happens let her breathe, girls are like sand on the beach if in your plam and your hand is too lose they fall out your hand, if your you squezze too tight then they slip in between your fingers, if you hold it just right they stay in your hand ... Good luck and hope it works out for you
 

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$460 gets a Japbike
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My experience, when they say they are not happy and they need some time alone it meant for me she was shagging someone else already and just wanted out but didnt want to hurt my feelings, as soon as she was out she told me there was someone else, trouble is I already knew there was........
 

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AirForceTeacher said:
You will have to be happy with youreself with or without her. Then you have to decide that you want her to be happy with or without you. Whether you get back together or not, both of these will help a lot.
Good advice...Life is a journey, you have to make your own way and be happy with yourself and your life, so does she. If your journeys allow you to be partners and travel together, it is good. Otherwise, you will take different paths, no matter how much love there is...
 

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UK_R6 said:
My experience, when they say they are not happy and they need some time alone it meant for me she was shagging someone else already and just wanted out ........
Kind of eery to read but the exact same happened to me. (Just reading it sent a shiver down my spine...)
 

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dparadis said:
Kind of eery to read but the exact same happened to me. (Just reading it sent a shiver down my spine...)
Chuckle..... Sorry mate.....
 

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if you are both thinking (or her) on separating.....it could mean for a while or for good. I was married....and got separated and then divorce.....its the flow of events...but I wish you the best and maybe you both might just need some time to miss each other....and value what you both once had....."MAYBE"......on the other hand, before going into the separation stage.....fight for it..and give it your best shot if you both still love eachother....make an appt. with a marriage counselor...it might help your situation..... just an advise...
 

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Discussion Starter #20
We've been in therapy for years. Now we are separating over the next couple weeks. We both want the marriage to work, but my wife is having trouble reconnecting to me. So this is what she wants to try....
 
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