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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so how the tits does a guy deal with a mother-in-law who really dislikes him and isn't the nicest to deal with? Like, she is borderline "bless your heart" means "go fuck yourself".

she's a pain in the dick. her daughter thinks she is too. But for now we gotta deal with it. So how do I deal with someone I have nothing in common with and nothing to talk about with, when I apparently need to spend time with this person at some point?

cause yeah. . .I could type out the full story, and I will if need be, but that's the main question.

thank the cosmos that the GFs old man is decent, if super religious.
 

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I normally get along fairly well with significant other's parents. I am mechanically capable enough that parents find me useful to have around. I can listen about a wide variety of topics, so parents think i am interested in whatever they are talking about. When it is my turn to talk i have stumbled blindly into enough things that i can normally just tell a story.


But anyway, in my experience the significant other normally knows what you should do to get along with their parents.

Have the significant other tell you subjects that are "safe" for conversation, and have them fill you in on what the parents interests are.

let your significant other guide you, set up some signals so they can tell you "this subject will tr***** an hour long rant, move on to something else.", "that was a seriously insulting back handed complement. If you would please ignore it i promise wild and crazy sex as soon as we leave.", ect.

And when it all falls apart, and the significant other's parents tell them that you are a direct servant of Satan, sent by the king of lies to tempt them from god. (yes, i have had this happen)

be very kind and reassuring, it can be really hard on the significant other when their parents go full crazy. Don't bother insulting the parents, just support your significant other when they vent and rant.
 

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Be polite, calm, steady as a rock, and clearly dote upon/cherish her daughter. When I dated the Viet chick, for years the mother wouldn't talk directly to me - she'd use her daughters to pass along messages, even when I was sitting at the table next to her (no language barrier, btw - we had two languages in common even).

If you continue to be polite and calm, one of three things will happen:

1) She'll realize you're a nice guy and treating her daughter well, and will come around since the most important thing for most parents is to see their child happy.
2) She'll realize how out of line/bitchy she's acting and that it's not getting the results she wanted and will relent
3) She'll continue to be a cunt, but everyone else will know that it's just her and has nothing to do with you - meaning your relations with the other relatives will improve.

tl;dr - older women sploosh for polite (and groomed!) young men.
 

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The trick I used was being the strong silent type around the mother and grandparents in law.

When she was still alive, I remember my MIL saying to my wife in and argument with her, and after insulting her "at least you married well".

Be nice and have an economy with words.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
Well, I already know she doesn't and won't like me. Being mechanically skilled has done nothing good. saved her daughter when she grenades the motor in her corolla and then I swapped it for a new one I foun in the space of a week.

So the father trusts me at least.

It's the extreme religion that is an issue too. Like....extremely religious..

But yeah, I've been told as much as "my mother will always backhand you, downfall you, judge you, and not accept you or your family"



But hell thats just somethin in life I guess. The GF doesn't even call her mum mum anymore, and prefers to see her as little as possible.
 

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I rarely drink alcohol, but I find a good buzz helps me get along with my In-laws. My wife now sticks a beer in my hand when they pull in the driveway.
 

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what kind a meeting you going to?

if it's just a "were having dinner with my parents on Saturday" type thing, then i suggest showing up with some home made hot wings or bacon wrapped Jalapeno popper appetizers. i can give you recipes is you want, i even have some halal and Kosher recipes if they are "restricted diet" type religious people.

If this is a "we are spending the weekend with my parents" type thing, find some things to do that will limit your interaction with them, go to a museum, go fishing, i don't know.

Then at the end of the day, write up tl,dnr rants about all the bullshit you had to go through. post these as therapeutic exercises. we'll all offer bullshit advice and giggle at your pain.
 

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So...

The mother is BSC, you know BSC runs in her blood. Probably it will not be the same things, but keep it in mind. At the first sin of BSC developing, run, fast.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I was wondering how long that "advice" would take to come up.

Rest assured, its covered. She wants to be nothing like her mother. At all. And actively seeks ways to end up nothing like her.

An illusion of a relationship is the only thing they have. And that is only a thing because it'd break her fathers heart to see his baby girl walk away from the family.

Someone suggested that the M.I.L would like a clean shaved kinda guy (generally). Maybe so. But the GF likes my attempt at a beard n that's that.

The topic title was also misleading. It so much meeting her family, its just dealing with them when I have to.
 

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Kill her with kindness, keep your mouth shut, and stay away from political and religious conversations.

You say she's super religious, how super are we talking? Does she drink wine? Bring her a nice bottle once in awhile. Sounds like pops likes you, and that's by far the more important person IMHO. I've always gotten along with my gfs dad's. I think I miss my ex's dad more than I miss her, he was a pretty awesome guy. We'd sit around, drink beers, work on his project cars, bullshit around.
 

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It's the extreme religion that is an issue too. Like....extremely religious..
Perhaps that's the main wall between you two....religion. From my experience, if you're not "religious like they are," harmony is last thing you're going to get. Not that it could never happen, but it may be a long and tedious journey to get there. Hopefully your gf is deeply rooted in her dedication to you as you go through this. Mine wasn't and ended the relationship due to pressure from her parents. ugh!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
If she ends it she does and I'll get good and drunk to commemorate the relationship, then bang all of her decent looking friends. Cause I'm fairly sure they all would.
 
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