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How long was it before you knew the person you were with is the one you wanted to marry? How long after that did you wait until you popped the question?

Things are going great with my current girl. I don't really consider dating a "game", meaning I won't date someone just for the hell of it; if I can't see spending my life with the person that's the end of it right there. So right from the start I was considering the future, but with this girl it feels different. I get downright excited when I think about asking her the question, and that feeling hasn't changed a bit with time. When I think about sharing the rest of my life with her, it just feels right. We're having a long distance relationship at the moment, but I'm flying out to Australia in two weeks to visit for 3 months, then a while after I return she'll be flying out here for 3 months again. The distance doesn't seem to matter though, we're both committed and putting effort into it.

I don't think I'd even consider asking the question for at least another year, but anyway it got me curious to ask about some of your experiences.
 

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Ooh lawd!
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Almost immediately.

About a year.


Hope that clears it up. If you want more info, just let me know ;)
 

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it just seemed "right" to be with and around her from the very start.

about six months till proposal.
 

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Let's see, we met in the fall of 1983, and started going out officially in the spring of 1984. We got married in June of 1988 and have been together ever since. I guess I knew that she was the one after about a month of being a couple. What was funny was that she knew it, too. When we tell this story to other people, we both say that there was never any question that we were going to get married to each other, or that if we fought (which we did occasionally) breaking up was never considered an option.
 

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^^ wow talk about a long time ago and a young age for you two to find each other....Great story sounds like a movie 'm writing
 

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I guess I'm the odd man out. I worked with my wife for over two years before we even went on our first date. She still admits to this day that she found me obnoxious and annoying. I only though of her as "Dawn, from work". That all changed 9 years ago when a group of us from work went out after a long shift. As my wife tells it, "Something just clicked, and all those traits that I disliked became charming somehow".

We dated for almost 6 months before either of us even began using the "L" word. Life's been coming up roses ever since. I proposed 3 years to the day of our first date, married 1 year later. It'll be 5 years married on Thursday.

To answer the OP's original questions. We were together for about 2 years before I knew. Popped the question a year later.

As to your situation, I felt sort of the same way as you about just dating for the hell of it, but I would caution that the reason you should date someone is to see if they are the "one". How long that takes varies greatly. I've known couples that dated for 6 months and are still married (happily) 12 years later, and I know people who took 6 years to realize they weren't right for each other. I will point out that the latter was a long diatance relationship. While that may not apply to you, spending everyday with someone is a lot differant that not. The point I'm trying to make (I promise there's one here somewhere) is don't stop dating someone just because you don't think they are the "one". If the relationship is going well, you shouldn't sell yourself short on the possibility of a future being there.

Josh
 

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Almost immediately. It was love at first site, or damn near to it.
Proposed 4 years later.
Married 16 months after that. We'll be married 22 years in June.
 

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Actually, my wife and I couldnt get along if our lives depended on it when we started dating.. We broke up about 8 times in the first year... I knew I loved her more than anyone else, when we kept getting back together.
Then, one night we had a HUGE blowout fight outside of a bar. She threw the $300 necklace I bought for her at me, and we ended up getting cuffed for domestic (neither of us actually got arrested, only cuffed to settle us down).
The next morning, I showed up at her house at 7am, and its been heaven ever since.. Neither one of us ever mentioned that fight, but it was 6 years ago, and we've never shouted at each other since... I asked her to marry me about 2 years after that.

Sometimes you just need to get over your differences first.. All my easy relationships turned out to be the worst.. But thats just me...
 

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jeepcoma said:
How long was it before you knew the person you were with is the one you wanted to marry?
i knew in about a split second after she introduced herself to me; something just told me and felt differently than. it took about four months for us to start dating though.


jeepcoma said:
How long after that did you wait until you popped the question?
proposed 8 months later; i would have done it sooner but it took awhile for me to find the ring i wanted to get her.

good luck bro.
 

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I saw a comedian who said:

Just find someone who you tolerate, and who tolerates you, and marry them.

Heh, it's actually good advice... you'll learn after you've dated a lot of girls and married one for a little while - as long as she's a good one, you should stick with her. It takes experience to understand that there really isn't any better out there, just different.

Another comedian said, no matter how hot she is, someone out there is sick of her bullshit.
 

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"Just find someone who you tolerate, and who tolerates you, and marry them."

Good advice. I always say if you can find someone whose shyte you can put up with and who will in turn put up with yours it's a miracle.
 

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Awww... You guys made me feel all mushy inside, reading all of your responses. I hope my old man is that sweet when asked about us.

In response to the original question at hand - I'm a woman, so I obviously cannot give a guys perspective... But I'd really like to share my story cuz I think it's a good one... LOONG, but good.

I had a girlfriend who I used to visit all the time. She had these neighbours... Two guys. One of them, the dark guy, owned the house next to hers and the other guy, a blonde, was his friend renting & living with him. They were both these huge body-building, beer-slugging cocky hardcore types, but way too pretty looking at the same time, ya know? You could tell these guys were complete attention whores, outside working on this machine or that on their driveway - music blaring, topless, showin' off the goods, checking to make sure we were lookin'. And they were childish and immature. We would sit on her porch smoking and shooting the proverbial and they'd be outside doing stupid things... Like this one day when the blonde one was smearing shaving cream all over the other guys pick-up truck in yet ANOTHER prank. And I would always say "what LOSERS!!!" The blonde guy was definitely the worst, in my books. He was so huge and "surfer boy" looking, we used to call him "Moose", like from the Archie comic books.

Well, about a year after my first contact with these guys I put my own house, which was right around the corner, on the market. I remember my agent calling me and saying "we've got a buyer". So I show up to the real estate office the night we're closing the deal and there he is. Moose. He didn't want to rent from his friend anymore, he wanted to buy his own house. MY house. And he waged war on me over the hot water tank in the basement. I refused to pay for the removal of it and he refused to pick up the rental contract. Back & forth, back & forth for over 2 hours in the office that night. It was going to be the deal breaker and because it was HIM - this cocky loudmouthed man-child, I absolutely would NOT back down and give in to what he wanted. Seriously, I would have given up the sale just to stick it to him. The agents finally decided to cover the cost of the removal themselves or, they could tell they were going to lose the sale. So we finally break from everything while they finalize the paperwork and I walk out of my agents office to go outside to have a smoke. I pass Moose on my way out, who's sitting there in the lobby holding court with 3 of his friends (cuz everyone needs to bring their buddies when they close a real estate deal), chowing down obnoxiously on pizza and talking loudly. And you know what he does? The son of a b*tch sticks his tongue out at me! The cockiest most childish gesture known to humans and he does it right than! I was EXASPERATED. I continue outside, pull my smoke out and go to light it and BAM, there he is with his lighter out ready to light me up. Smooth, right? I'm dead quiet, just smoking. And he says "One way or another, I always get my way". And laughs.

Well, long story longer, he began calling me asking about this or that thing to do with the house. And the night he came over to do his final pre-purchase inspection, he brings a bottle of rye and decides to stick around and hang out with me.

Turns out Moose's name is actually JJ. And cocky is REALLY hot. And we soon go on our first real date that consists of heavy drinking in Barrie, snowangels in the snowbank on the side of Dunlop (major street downtown), hickies all over my neck and... Falling in LOVE. About 6 months later I sold my new condo, moved back into my old house with HIM and we've never looked back. My life is crazy and ridiculous and INCREDIBLE and I wouldn't change it for the world. My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank GOD he stuck out his tongue!
 

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"Blah Blah Blah"
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In the first of 9 months.....plus her oldman had a shotgun..
 

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Source Girl said:
Awww... You guys made me feel all mushy inside, reading all of your responses. I hope my old man is that sweet when asked about us.

In response to the original question at hand - I'm a woman, so I obviously cannot give a guys perspective... But I'd really like to share my story cuz I think it's a good one... LOONG, but good.

I had a girlfriend who I used to visit all the time. She had these neighbours... Two guys. One of them, the dark guy, owned the house next to hers and the other guy, a blonde, was his friend renting & living with him. They were both these huge body-building, beer-slugging cocky hardcore types, but way too pretty looking at the same time, ya know? You could tell these guys were complete attention whores, outside working on this machine or that on their driveway - music blaring, topless, showin' off the goods, checking to make sure we were lookin'. And they were childish and immature. We would sit on her porch smoking and shooting the proverbial and they'd be outside doing stupid things... Like this one day when the blonde one was smearing shaving cream all over the other guys pick-up truck in yet ANOTHER prank. And I would always say "what LOSERS!!!" The blonde guy was definitely the worst, in my books. He was so huge and "surfer boy" looking, we used to call him "Moose", like from the Archie comic books.

Well, about a year after my first contact with these guys I put my own house, which was right around the corner, on the market. I remember my agent calling me and saying "we've got a buyer". So I show up to the real estate office the night we're closing the deal and there he is. Moose. He didn't want to rent from his friend anymore, he wanted to buy his own house. MY house. And he waged war on me over the hot water tank in the basement. I refused to pay for the removal of it and he refused to pick up the rental contract. Back & forth, back & forth for over 2 hours in the office that night. It was going to be the deal breaker and because it was HIM - this cocky loudmouthed man-child, I absolutely would NOT back down and give in to what he wanted. Seriously, I would have given up the sale just to stick it to him. The agents finally decided to cover the cost of the removal themselves or, they could tell they were going to lose the sale. So we finally break from everything while they finalize the paperwork and I walk out of my agents office to go outside to have a smoke. I pass Moose on my way out, who's sitting there in the lobby holding court with 3 of his friends (cuz everyone needs to bring their buddies when they close a real estate deal), chowing down obnoxiously on pizza and talking loudly. And you know what he does? The son of a b*tch sticks his tongue out at me! The cockiest most childish gesture known to humans and he does it right than! I was EXASPERATED. I continue outside, pull my smoke out and go to light it and BAM, there he is with his lighter out ready to light me up. Smooth, right? I'm dead quiet, just smoking. And he says "One way or another, I always get my way". And laughs.

Well, long story longer, he began calling me asking about this or that thing to do with the house. And the night he came over to do his final pre-purchase inspection, he brings a bottle of rye and decides to stick around and hang out with me.

Turns out Moose's name is actually JJ. And cocky is REALLY hot. And we soon go on our first real date that consists of heavy drinking in Barrie, snowangels in the snowbank on the side of Dunlop (major street downtown), hickies all over my neck and... Falling in LOVE. About 6 months later I sold my new condo, moved back into my old house with HIM and we've never looked back. My life is crazy and ridiculous and INCREDIBLE and I wouldn't change it for the world. My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank GOD he stuck out his tongue!

Funny story. Weird how things work out. But be careful.. Steroids make your peepee go away.. :banana
 

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Met in November '92, became my "girlfriend" in January '93, proposed the following December (1993) and got hitched in August '94. I knew I had to have her as my wife somewhere around June of '93.

Marriage has been a blessing. Sure, we've had our rough spots and at times I've wondered if it was the right decision. But those times are very brief and simply can't compare to the happiness that being with my wife has brought.
 

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Two weeks.

--Good looking.
--High earning potential because she was getting her doctorate.
--Fairly well off family, with lots of real estate.
--6 years younger than me.
--A hip to waist ratio of 0.70.

People should always place good looks ahead of anything else, by the way, since you can always change a person's personality, or send them to school, but if their ugly and short you can't do much about that.
 

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Wait until you're older. At least 2 or 3 years. People change too much in their twenties. Ask all the divorced couples the same question you did here, you'll get all the same mushy stories, but the end is quite different...
 
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