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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So last night I was in a deep conversation with a random chick I just happened to be playing Call of Duty with. We were talking about relationships and why i was getting divorced. She asked what was the general point of getting married, to which i replied that it seemed more for legal reasons than anything in my opinion and to have a piece of paper saying you two are together. She replied back to me that she doesn't need to have a piece of paper to say or prove that she is with anyone. Anyone who needs a fragile piece of thin wood, or jewelry, or some court order saying you two are together doesn't need to be in a relationship in the first place because their mind is obviously in the wrong place.

We got kept talking about why people getting married and even brought up how some couples live together for years, have kids and everything but never get married because it is too much legal BS to deal with. And that if times ever got so bad that they needed to part, they can just split and not have to go through hoops with the state just to break up.

Being in the military, I know a lot of people get married just to move out of the barracks, provide "Free" medical and health insurance to their spouse and children, and to get some extra green in the pocket.

Of course there many couples that want to get married because they truly want to spend the rest of their lives together, and i am not trying to downplay or disrespect them. But honestly is it worth it in the long run? Do we only look to marriage because we were brought up by family, religion and society that we are supposed to grow up, get married and start a family?

Through my divorce, I am not turning into someone who hates marriages and refuse to ever get married again. Most likely I would get married again at some point in my life, but I don't see it as a big deal as I once did a few years ago. If i find someone special enough, there is little reason that we can just be happy as a bf/gf couple for a long while.

I don't know, been on my mind all morning and I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone i work with or my wife.
 

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I got married to give my wife my health insurance. True story. Not sorry I did, and I would have done it sooner or later. But that was the primary driver for my timing.
 

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There are numerous legal/taxation/health insurance benefits to being classified as "married".

In Canada (asskatchewan, anyway) a couple is considered common law married when they are at the same residence for 6 months or more, and claim it on the applicable paperwork, so there isn't much point to the big ceremony beyond making da wife happy I suppose. . .
 
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i think m first marriage was all about the bang bang and we went the court way. but alas, it obviously didn't work out. jump to now... married over 5 years and loving it. we got married cause we love being together. guess the paper and the wedding make it official, but i would spend my life with this woman cause no one else makes me as happy and content. we have the same interests, we work towards goals together, we hate being away from each other, we can't wait to see each other the next time (whether it's coming home from work or going to the store to get diapers), we just love being together. she didn't marry me for the money cause she was worth more than I cause her debt was practically non-existent. i had more credit cards than i care to shake a stick at (much better now thanks to her keeping me on the straight and narrow - i'm an impulse buyer). i guess we didn't need to do the whole bit, but i'm old school and she wanted the big wedding deal, so we did it.
I don't really don't like being alone even though i'm an introvert. we have a blast together and wouldn't have it any other way. now we have 2 lil girls and they are the best event that ever happened to us.

overall though, i would never push someone to get married. it is definitely not for everyone. i have an Uncle in his 70's that never married and i don't think i ever saw him with a GF, unless it was way before i was born. some people do it for the money, more power to them. some do it to just have kids, grats to them. and then there are folks like me and my wife... we are together cause we want to be. like i tell her... I'm McD's. i can't wait for the days when we can send the kids off and we can just go touring all over. woot!!
 

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My relationship is like USAFgsxr750again's :)

But we are not legally married. We don't need to, been living together for over 5 years, and we have a kid :)

But we want to. When finances are better so we can do a nice party. Nothing too extravagant, but we'd like something nice that involves our taste in food and music, at least. We just don't have the money, but we don't really need to get married, not yet anyway.

nico
 

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The only reason I decided not to get married, is because I knew we would just end up getting divorced. My ex and I just had too many differences even if we did enjoy each other at some point or another. For me it just wasn't going to be worth the hassle and I knew that marriage wasn't going to be the answer to fix the problems that we had. In hindsight, I should have gone with those feelings before having a kid with her. meh. you live and learn right?

edit: and I know I said it somewhere else, but fuckit, it's just a piece of paper. If the girl needs it that badly, then they probably weren't the one to begin with.
 

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There are lots of reasons why people get married, and lots of reasons why people don't, and lots of reasons people shouldn't.

For my wife and I, it was mainly because we wanted to. To make that commitment to each other, formally and forever, and celebrate and share that commitment with our family and friends.

On a practical level, the only consideration was to do it before we had kids, as there are a lot of legal implications to being/not being married with regard to that.

We've been together for 13 years, married in our own heads for 12, legally married for 6. And we're both really happy.

By contrast, my previous longterm relationship, we lived together for four years, and never got married, because we knew there were things we would have to work out before we could expect it to really last. So we spent that time seeing if we could make it work, determined that we couldn't, and broke up amicably. She's still my closest friend other than my wife.

PhilB
 
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Some people want to.

Some people don't.

And the decisions you make for yourself are yours and yours alone and nobody can tell you if they're correct or incorrect. The same goes for your neighbor. Or your pastor. Or your coworker. And that's how life is. :)
 

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I said I would never get married again because it was too damn hard to get divorced the first time. My husband and I were together for 5 years, separated in '88 or '89, and remained married for the next 15 years because he refused to sign the first divorce papers I sent to him (the preparation of which cost me all the money I had at the time). So I said f*ck it, stay married then asshole, and just carried on like I wasn't married. We only got divorced in 2004 because his GF got pregnant and she wanted to marry him. Then I suddenly got papers and a begging phone call from him.... oh so NOW you want one. :rolleyes

My last LTR (which ended this past summer) lasted a little over 15 years. We made the decision right from the beginning that we didn't want to get married. Now I am really glad we didn't. Even without being married it has been a little complicated going our separate ways though.

That said, having been in a relationship for so long without being married, I do see how being married could have made some things easier, esp if anything had happened to either of us. Neither of us could have spoken for the other in a medical emergency situation for example. While domestic partner registries are more common now, they aren't recognized everywhere. Sometimes they only apply in your home city or county.

So... I am not opposed to the idea of marriage anymore. Long term relationships are complex things whether married or not.
 

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You know why devorces are so expensive...because they are worth it. Lol
I would rather be broke and happy then ok or wealthy and miserable. However I got out easy..no kids..loss a washer dryer and a couch. Gave her 2 weeks notice and a piece of paper totaling $280. I dodged a bullet with that girl.
Very happy ever since. I am SO anti marriage. Sorry for the rant..just my thoughts

sent from my butt dialing phone, this msg will self destruct.
 

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I would only get married to someone who has had their bubble popped about Princes and Princesses. And with the knowledge that we all get to be a pain in the ass eventually.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I would only get married to someone who has had their bubble popped about Princes and Princesses. And with the knowledge that we all get to be a pain in the ass eventually.
This is the first thing that always comes to mind when people ask me if I would ever get married. I am not against it, but it is not as a big deal to me anymore and I would prefer to be with someone who knows that you don't always get your way and the times that you don't get your way doesn't make you entitled to anything later down the road.
 

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This is the first thing that always comes to mind when people ask me if I would ever get married. I am not against it, but it is not as a big deal to me anymore and I would prefer to be with someone who knows that you don't always get your way and the times that you don't get your way doesn't make you entitled to anything later down the road.
yeah, my wife and I call it compromise. :) she gets things and i get things, but we do discuss the matter before jumping into it. try to find all the reasons for and against whatever we are planning to do. for example, i wanted to trade my truck in for an econobox. she said sure but ONLY if it replaces the current expense (or less) we put out for the truck.... well i wanted the Sonata, but the Elantra came in even IF i got the right package and it had options that we both wanted too (read - no stick, auto only). sure enough, got the deal and traded. her only complaint is the interior color, but we both wanted the Red one.... it only comes in Camel color.... compromise baby. we both love the car and i hope i can keep it long enough my kids can beat it up... let's see...just under 12 years....
:eek:nfloor
 

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A guy on a scruffy bike
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IMO marriage is unnatural. It goes against what we are as a species.

Yes i am married.
Well, not beating the crap out of anyone who pisses you off is unnatural and goes against what we are as a species. Keeping your word is unnatural and goes against what we are as a species. Pretty much all civilized behavior is unnatural and goes against what we are as a species.

But behaving well and being a good person anyways is worth the self-control it takes.

PhilB
 

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So last night I was in a deep conversation with a random chick I just happened to be playing Call of Duty with. We were talking about relationships and why i was getting divorced. She asked what was the general point of getting married, to which i replied that it seemed more for legal reasons than anything in my opinion and to have a piece of paper saying you two are together. She replied back to me that she doesn't need to have a piece of paper to say or prove that she is with anyone. Anyone who needs a fragile piece of thin wood, or jewelry, or some court order saying you two are together doesn't need to be in a relationship in the first place because their mind is obviously in the wrong place.
.
thats all fine and dandy what she says, till they break up and end up on Judge judy vieing over the xbox 360.....
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
thats all fine and dandy what she says, till they break up and end up on Judge judy vieing over the xbox 360.....
Your not referring to that youtube chick who broke her BF's xbox and smashed it with a bat are you?

I told my wife that if she ever breaks my computer or my xbox that i would set fire to all her hair extensions, make up and dresses (that I bought).
 

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Raising children would be my #1 reason to get married. I strongly believe that children do better in a 2-parent household instead of the harried and broke single mother epidemic that we have going on now.
 

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Why do you have to get married to be good parents? Can parents not stick around and not be married and raise successful children?
 
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