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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone! I need a little guidance on a couple things involving my girlfriend. . I enjoy sex and consider it a huge stress reliever and confidence booster. Lately, it seems as though when I’m in the mood for a little fun time, she isn’t and I end up feeling really rejected and unwanted. I tried talking to her about this a couple times to explain how it made me feel when someone doesn’t want me, but the responses I get are; “Well I’m not a dude, so I don’t need it as often” and “wouldn’t it be better if I was in the same mood and wanted it too? And “it’s silly for you to feel that way, you know I want you”. Now, I’ve always tried to please her when she was in the mood and I wasn’t because I know it makes her happy, and I get a side benefit honestly.

For example, she’ll leave notes saying “maayybbee we can be a bit naughty tonight” or she’ll say during the day “maayyybbee we can be naughty tonight in the shower”. So I get all excited (no pun intended) for that, and when the time comes…guess what?? Nothing. And then I ask “but you said you wanted to have fun time…” and her response is “Well I’m not in the mood and I don’t need it all the time”. I actually get kinda mad and really upset when that happens. It makes me feel rejected, LIED to, and manipulated.

Am I being unreasonable here?? I kind feel as though she thinks it doesn’t upset me and just blows me off. I really don’t think it’s fair for me to have to wait for her to be “in the mood”. I know she was treated pretty badly by some previous BF’s, but I’m not them. If she treated them like this….geese, I wonder how they reacted.
 

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Bro, it's not about the girl "telling the truth" about wanting to have sex *later*. When she told you, she was telling you the truth of what she felt... and when it came time and she rejected you, she was also telling you the truth of what she felf. They seem super crazy to us dudes but it's just about understanding how they're wired. To say it in another way, you MUST make her feel like having sex at that moment.
So here are a few things I can bet my money will work in your situation....
#1 Stop asking her for sex completely. Act like it doesn't bother you at all.
#2 When you're together alone and you could be having sex, you still don't mention sex, you just seduce her into her asking you for sex instead.

This is what you do, ignore her for a bit(not in a "I'm mad at you" way but more of "I'm pre-occupied with what I'm doing" way) stop and get close to her for a min, then leave her alone again, go back and give her a long stare-no kissing, leave her alone again, go up and fell her skin very lightly, play with her hair, then stop, sit away and just talk for another while, get close again and stare, hair, touch, this time a quick kiss, then back off and talk again(NOT about sex, other random topics)........... You get the idea. This kind of gentle tease make them nuts. Eventually, you're upping the way you kiss and touch, then repeat backing off again. Soon you'll have a girlfriend feeling like she wants sex NOW.

When she starts to come after you to get closer, kiss her for a min, take your hand behind her head and pull her hair gently to stop her from kissing, with a sly smile like you don't care, just say... "All you gotta do is ask."


You're welcome. I'll be waiting for your gratitude check soon. haha!
 

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Basically what akiraruns said but the exact methods are different for every girl. I know if I make dinner (I'm a good cook) do some dishes (not mandatory but ups the likelyhood) and cuddle for 20 min while watching some TV I don't really like I can get some 98% of the time.

Also, if I were to pull that same shit night after night it would stop working. Gotta switch it up. Girls get horny all by themselves too, but if you want it on the regs you MUST provide romance and foreplay. That also means avoiding turn-offs, which are many and dynamic.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Some of these responses are simply hilarious!

I will try the "ignoring" and acting like I don't need it technique. I don't know if it'll work honestly, but it's worth a shot and has worked for me in the past.

It's just difficult when you're really attracted to the person and deeply care for them.

As far as compatibility goes...I'd really like to not think about that right now. When things started with us, it was great and we had sex farely regularly. It just seems within the last few weeks, I've noticed a change.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I wrong to get a little angry when I try to talk to her about it and the response I get is something I feel as though is childish and border line selfish?

How else can I approach this??
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Well for starters you should tell her to stop being a cock tease. She either wants it or she doesn't. If she doesn't, she needs stop saying she does. That shit would piss me off.
Well it does piss me off, that's for damn sure! How else can I approach this without being an ass? I tried being an adult about it and telling her how i felt.
 

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Well it does piss me off, that's for damn sure! How else can I approach this without being an ass? I tried being an adult about it and telling her how i felt.
have no business giving relationship advice to ANYONE, but I agree with AC. be an ass about it.
 
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how old is this chick and how long have you guys been dating? Every girl wants it, needs it, and loves it as much as we do. If they say they don't, they're lying. My gut says either you suck in the sack, or she's just not interested in you.

disclaimer: There is beer involved with this response, and I'm probably completely wrong.
 

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She sounds selfish to me. I understand that a woman (or man) won't be in the mood every time that their partner is. That is life. However, there needs to be some give and take. Sometimes when one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, the one who wants it needs to respect the other's wishes. Conversely, sometimes the one who's not in the mood should do it for the sake of keeping the other partner happy and the romance alive. That's part of the give and take in the relationship. If that balance is skewed either way, one partner is being selfish, or there are deeper problems... However, I still think it's selfish, if the partner isn't verbalizing what the problems are.

Oh, and her leaving notes that get your hopes up and then not following through is immature and selfish. If she's basically told you what is to come, she has a responsibility to follow through with it, regardless of whether she's in the mood or not. This would go the same for a guy as well, if the roles were reversed.
 

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There are many things that can help out with this. Little things that most people dont even think about and some have been said already. Doing little things that have nothing to do with sex that she likes will often help her feel wanted more and get her wanting sex more.

As a fix for each day you want to have sex (for me it would be every day but...). If you try and she dont want sex then wait till she falls asleep. (this is not going where some might think) Then after she is good and asleep start messing with her without waking her up. Go down on her if you can while she is asleep or pretending to be asleep. Once she wakes up she will be very ready.... If that does not work then be sure to let her know that the reason you are leaving her is because she dont put out and yall are not compatable sexually.
 
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