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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
But the sex is horrible :a2 :a2
Im losing interest,She is very pretty,yes,but she doesnt have any sexual drive!
She doesnt like for me to give oral,she doesnt like to give oral,hell,even when I ask she says she feels uncomfortable with it I cant force her :hshot
Ladies,some advice please.Im lost..anything I can say to try and get something out of this or am I doomed to a life of no pleasure,that or leaving :leghump
Fc
 

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hang in there dude. after my wife had a particial hysterectomy(sp) i went 6 years like that. alot of self gratification got me through it. maybe you can get some books or try reading up on some different things that could get her in the mood, to try and increase her drive.
 

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ok, here's my .02 cents....

LEAVE! she maybe sweet and maybe pretty and HEY she might even cook,clean and kiss your ass, but if you are not satisified in bed, then you'll NEVER be happy. If you end up staying with this girl for other reasons besides the sex, then sooner or later, you'll prolly end up screwing around and you know you'll end up hurting her.

I've been in a situation just the same once, and I had to break it off. No matter how hard I tried to show this person the things I liked or needed, the sex still sucked!!

Also, don't let someone in here try to tell you that maybe you two need to go to sex therepy. It's bunk bull shit and it dosent work. If your not sexualy satisfied or your starting to get turned off by thinking about having sex with her, you need to end it. No matter how much therepy you get, it wont amount to a hill of beans if the sex still sucks.

Sex should not be the #1 priority in any relationship, but if it's sucks or even mediocar, it's going to put a wedge between you two.

All this advise is comming from a girl! And all I can say is, if some chick isnt likeing getting the carpet munched, then SOMETHING is deffinetly wrong with her. I can see no blowjobs (NOT FOR ME, THAT'S MY FAV THING TO DO!) but alot of girls don't like to give them, because of the end result.

You may just have to leave, but I wouldn't tell her that your leaving cuz she sucka$$ in bed. That's just mean.
 

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japbike said:
ok, here's my .02 cents....

LEAVE! she maybe sweet and maybe pretty and HEY she might even cook,clean and kiss your ass, but if you are not satisified in bed, then you'll NEVER be happy. If you end up staying with this girl for other reasons besides the sex, then sooner or later, you'll prolly end up screwing around and you know you'll end up hurting her.

I've been in a situation just the same once, and I had to break it off. No matter how hard I tried to show this person the things I liked or needed, the sex still sucked!!

Also, don't let someone in here try to tell you that maybe you two need to go to sex therepy. It's bunk bull shit and it dosent work. If your not sexualy satisfied or your starting to get turned off by thinking about having sex with her, you need to end it. No matter how much therepy you get, it wont amount to a hill of beans if the sex still sucks.

Sex should not be the #1 priority in any relationship, but if it's sucks or even mediocar, it's going to put a wedge between you two.

All this advise is comming from a girl! And all I can say is, if some chick isnt likeing getting the carpet munched, then SOMETHING is deffinetly wrong with her. I can see no blowjobs (NOT FOR ME, THAT'S MY FAV THING TO DO!) but alot of girls don't like to give them, because of the end result.

You may just have to leave, but I wouldn't tell her that your leaving cuz she sucka$$ in bed. That's just mean.

Girl you should talk!! You are always saying how sex is not great for you and your man!!! Sounds like someone needs to take their own advice...ahem...ahem.... :lol :cool:
 

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I would at least try to talk to her first and see why she has these hang ups..there's obviously some reason she feels asexual. Something is bothering her inside and before throwing a 1 year relationship away...try and see what's up If you care about her then you will try and communicate with her to find that out....conversely if you don't care about her...then just leave. (but I doubt that's your case as you have been with her for a year!)

That's the trouble today...people look at relationships as overly casual and if something goes the way they don't want it....they just throw it away like a piece of trash without even trying to keep it together...it's quite sad actually...people just don't want to take the time to work at a relationship!!
 

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RSixxygrl said:
That's the trouble today...people look at relationships as overly casual and if something goes the way they don't want it....they just throw it away like a piece of trash without even trying to keep it together...it's quite sad actually...people just don't want to take the time to work at a relationship!!
I could not agree with you more. This is one reason for aggravation in the dating situations. You start getting something going good and one minor mishap and it gets thrown away. Good relationships will have problems. It takes both persons involved caring enough to make it through those problems. IMO, getting through those types of things make the relationship that much worthwhile.
 

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I can get just about everything from male friends that I can get from females except... SEX. That's why my first marriage failed. I wasn't satisfied. It's also why I've committed to my new wife. Things have been pretty rocky at times, but the main thing I want from my woman is to keep Mr. Happy happy. And she does that 150%.

Drop the prude and find yourself a nympho.
 

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japbike said:
ok, here's my .02 cents....

LEAVE! she maybe sweet and maybe pretty and HEY she might even cook,clean and kiss your ass, but if you are not satisified in bed, then you'll NEVER be happy. If you end up staying with this girl for other reasons besides the sex, then sooner or later, you'll prolly end up screwing around
+1-- it is harsh- but the truth.
 

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Marriage

You guys are horrible, its marriage not his girlfriend. Everybody who is married remember their VOWS? Thats why this country is so F'ed up, people are willing to leave their spouse on a dime. For all you guys out there, how would you like it if your penis got injured, or had sexual problems you could not control, and your wife said "Well, since you can't please me, I will find somebody who can". How would that make you feel? Sex is important, but there are other ways to cope.

People shouldn't get married for money, looks, sex, whatever, because chances are one or all of those won't last, and if you base a relationship on those, your asking for trouble. I would encourage the original poster to be a real man, and stand by your girl, chances are she will come out of it, and be a better person, if you support her, and not bash her over the head with it. Remember there are marriages that survive much much worse, ie Christopher Reeves, god bless his wife, she is a saint. If you love her, stand by her.

Dan
04 Gix 6 Blue/White
M2 Carbon Bolt-On Two Bros
 

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I didn't realize that it was his wife that he was talking about, I assumed(and shouldn't have) that he was talking about his gf...

I'm not going to take back all what I said, but alot of it I will. It's true if something happend to a guy and he couldnt perform any more, I would have to stand by my man, but sooner or later, all ppl become sexualy frustrated, and tend to find someone to fullfill what they are not getting at home. It's not horrible to leave a relationship, married or not, over bad sexual relations. If you are not sexualy satisfied, its better to get divorced then cheat.. don't ya think?! I do... Vows or no vows, if your hating your relationship, you making your life misserable and the person your with misserable. I'd rather be alone then sooner or later having contempt and hatred towards my spouse. Which will eventually happen.
 

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There are several things at play here. First, if she is young, things will definately change as she gets older. Women reach sexual maturity much later than men and a lot of their issues in their late teens/ early twenties aren from their upbringing and environment. Give it time.
However, let her know your true feelings in a way that is not accusatory. Sex is an important part of marriage and sometimes things need to be discussed before the other person realizes what is happening. They may think you are truly satisfied. There will probably be a little fighting, maybe a little crying but it's just a defense reaction. Nobody wants to hear that they are not sexually fulfilling their partner. Just ask her what she does like, why she doesn't like other things and how you can compromise on some things.
 

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Sex is extremely important. I have and am working my relationship out to fix some problems even though she is just a girlfriend, however, if the sex wasn’t good I would have been long gone and not even think twice unless she was rich than I would stick it out with my hand. I’ve heard Viagra might stimulate her, let her try a pill and see how that goes. There are also some creams out there you can try but I have no idea if they will work. If nothing works you will have to leave her. Sex is extremely important for your health and the lack of it will cause health problems and as well as emotional issues. Leave.
 

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i didnt read WIFE anywhere in his post.

I am in the same position--- i actually feel a little tricked--after about a year of marriage- the sex became sporadic and routine at best...

after 3 years- it has come back-- to a "respectable" level-- not pre-wedding monkey-sex sessions by any means, but back to at least twice a week.

I found that most of that has to do with HER self esteem. if it is low, sex is a no-go.
 

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If you're married, you probably said for better or worse. This is one of the "worse" parts. I wouldn't think that it would necessarily have to be a deal breaker in any case.

That said, I'm in the same boat myself, and it's tough, but I love my wife more than anything in this world. I feel confident we'll get past it.
 

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kazlab67 said:
There are several things at play here. First, if she is young, things will definately change as she gets older. Women reach sexual maturity much later than men and a lot of their issues in their late teens/ early twenties aren from their upbringing and environment. Give it time.
However, let her know your true feelings in a way that is not accusatory. Sex is an important part of marriage and sometimes things need to be discussed before the other person realizes what is happening. They may think you are truly satisfied. There will probably be a little fighting, maybe a little crying but it's just a defense reaction. Nobody wants to hear that they are not sexually fulfilling their partner. Just ask her what she does like, why she doesn't like other things and how you can compromise on some things.
This is why I need to find me an older woman!! :lol I do agree with the whole vows thing. But I have a feeling if you get married... You have already had sex. You should know that you weren't pleased. I don't really know of many people who wait until after they are married to have sex (as much as it sounds good.) I think communication and a willingness from both parties is a key here....both sexually and emotionally
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 · (Edited)
Wow!,
Sorry I didnt get back at this earlier you guys,my computer crashed,she had a good run though,about 37 viruses and held up for a few months.Eh well. R.I.P :a2
On The other hand,no NOT A WIFE.lol.
Sorry for not making it a bit more clear,but I figured not mentioning marriage would say something,a thouand pardons.
I want to thank everyone for their response,I posted it up because first off it is my situation and I was curious as to everyon elses feelings on it.
If it was marriage im Pretty sure I wouldnt be in this situation or atleast more so in depth with fixing the problem,atleast id hope :hshot
Its a girlfriend,but why I was feeling iffy about it is because every single other aspect of the relationship is near perfect,I guess you gotta give a penny to take a penny right?lol.

*note* Hopefully this is not too much for anyone in their minds,its just real.

And ive tried talking about it with her before,and I get the whole "Id do anything for you but I just dont feel comfortable (oral) its something that I need to get used to"..which I understand..but I think the problem is..(ladies back to you guys ) The first time we did have sex and she gave oral,I didnt hit the "O" so after that she felt really bad,and ever since than its been down the drain,Figure thats the problem and Ive honestly tried sitting down and speaking with her and its always the same conclusion,she doesnt initiate,or aything.and I try to be respectful,Ya know Im not gonna be a dick smack her up and force her to do anything,lol.But I can only compromise so much in this 2 way street.
So thats why ive been feeling kinda blah about it..of course sex is not the most important aspect to a relationship,there should be so much more supporting it but geez it is "part" of the puzzle.
I suppose I really gotta sit down and have one final talk before just up jumps the boogie and cutting things...Theres more to the story,but thats the only aspect I chose to bring up.
and in ALL HONESTY,ive been tempted..and ALMOST put my self in situation to fool around,but never have,I dont feel its worth it,but with that part slacking its almost lead up to it guess kinda scared and defenetly dont want that to go down at all.(no pun intended)

2004gixxer600,Very respectable post,If it was marriage I Honestly dont think id be posting about it,because my head would be on a bit tighter,sorry you got it mixed up.Nonetheless its good to hear from some people who are willing to keep commitment.Ive been cheated on before,and personally I rather be left than get cheated on,but thats anotehr thread :hshot

Japbike,Sixxy,Thank you guys first off for your honest and truthful opinions/advice.Both very good sides.
 

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FunCrusher, You may want to have your girlfriend/wife see a urologist; something is definitely not normal if she doesn't have a sex drive. Also, she may be the victim of an unfortunate past, ie sexual abuse, rape, etc. Try to be understanding and hopefully, she'll open up to you and let you know what's wrong......

Frank
 
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