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· Combat Marshmellow
12,634 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."


Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world is

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop the shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow Into
the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was
which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to
see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the
letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about
getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set
on wire frames.

A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos. It
keeps some things hot and some things cold" "Wow, said the blonde, "that's
amazing I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to
work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold " she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied, "Two Popsicles and some coffee".

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls,
and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled
blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something
nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell
phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its
features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone. The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and
your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand
though... "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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