Sport Bikes banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Combat Marshmellow
Joined
·
13,132 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of North Carolina." And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today", Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this? "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly." She said, "Well, you succeeded."

He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" She said, "That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I lie on the sofa, drink beer, and fart."

He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor.

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh! Immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

A PRAYER

Dear Lord: I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
 

·
$460 gets a Japbike
Joined
·
676 Posts
Man the truth really does hurt.......LMAO
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,027 Posts
I knew I liked you for a reason Badgixxer... LMAO!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,018 Posts
badgixxer....thank you for the laugh!!! That was great!! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,721 Posts
 

·
No limit hypocrite
Joined
·
1,695 Posts
A man was becoming frustrated, because he hadnt had sex in 5 years.. After several Doctors couldnt help him, he decided to try an old Healer from China.

"Master Chang" The man begins... "I havent had sex in over 5 years, can you PLEASE tell me whats wrong with me"

"Okray" Master Chang replies... "Firsht, take off all your crose, and stand naked."

The man does as instructed.. Master Change looks and mumbles, then says "now, you must get on you hand and knees"

The man does as told, looking a little confused..

"Okay, now, craw across room to me, on hand and knees" Master Chang tells him.
"Now, craw across room, other way, on hand and knee"

Completely Bewildered, the man does as told.. Then Master Change shouts "AH-Hah! You have Ed-Zachary Disease!!"

"Ed Zachary Disease, what is that?" The man asks..

"You have no sex, 'cause you Face rook Ed-zachary rike you ass!"
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top