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Discussion Starter #1
After three years of marriage we have decided to get a divorce.The house is for sale the lawyers paid and the papers filled out and sent in.My wife am I are living together and have to until the house sells.She parties during the week sometimes and is always gone on the weekend.I dont know where she stays when she goes out and I really dont care for my feelings for her are dead.These are the actions that destroyed our marriage.I'm here by myself most of the time and am getting bored and lonely.I know a few ladies that would do things with me but I dont know if it would be right to do things with them.I will not have sex with anyone until the divorce is final and the women know about the whole situation.So I guess I would be dating.I want to do things with them but would it be wrong for me to take them out at this point in time.Should I wait for the big d to be final before taking anyone out.For once in my life I don't know what to do.Your opinions on this would be nice.
 

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^^werd...obviously your soon to be ex doesn't feel the same way as you, but that don't mean that it's "okay" by her either...it sucks, but she cold flip out and possibly make things harder if you were to act the same as she...i'd wait...or move out...
 

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hog, you need to friends to help you to cope; trust me on this. I've been thru one divorce and my second marriage is teetering. Also, try to find a good divorce recovery workshop. You'll be amazed at the help and support you'll get. Best of luck to ya!!!

Frank
 

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superbiker said:
get a pi to follow her. 500 bucks could save you thousands in teh long run.

+1

93FZR1K said:
My opinion don't do anything until it is final it could be used against you.
+1 again
 

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Yep wait it out...you never know what she could do. I don't know how your state handles the separation process before divorce but depending on how it does....she could be vindictive and get you in a heap of trouble even though she's doing her own thing!

If these other women are interested in you...they will understand and wait too..and if they don't....screw them..they aren't worth it!!

Just my 2 cents from a woman's point of view :) Good luck and hang in there hun...I know it's tough..I have been there too...you will recover though! <wink>
 

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wait, dont do anything till its final. my parents seperated awhile ago and they were both dating by the time it was final. BUT, my mom was severely pissed and wanted to get my dad back for dating some1 b4 everything was said and done. so u never know what she could do. just wait it out. another month or however long it takes wont hurt u.
 

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Sorry you're in such a tough situation - I went through the exactly the same thing. I wouldn't say wait until the divorce is final, but definately wait until you go your separate ways. I mean, until you're not living under the same roof, etc. That's what I did, mostly because it was easier to avoid another source of contention - you'll have plenty of time to date later on. For now, if you're bored, take a class, hang out with guy friends, find a new hobby, masturbate... anything but dating.
 

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I don't think it matters in the least if you start fucking around. Sounds like there aren't any kids which would possibly impact on this decision. Go for it.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
There are no children thank god. It takes ninety days in Iowa for it to be final and we are only two weeks in to the waiting period.This lifestyle thing has been going on for a couple of months as we were separated for awhile.She left and I stayed at the house but she didnt like where she was staying so she came back
 

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I say wait it out too. I know it's rough. I lived with my son's mother for a year after we broke up. I didn't seriously date anyone the whole time. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. This is the only reason why I don't want to get married. Seems like divorce is too easy to most people. A divorce is the last thing I would ever want. I don't think I need to worry about it though. I have to find a chick blind enough to want me :nuts
 

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just wait till its final. Really, you never know what she'll try to get ya on. Just sit back and smile, let her do what she wants, and when its all said and done, get your life back. Go live the way you want to..
 

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why the fuck you let her come back for? so she can rub it in your face a little more? talk to your lawyer about whether you live in a no-fault state or not. no fault means that nothing one party does has any influence on the outcome of the divorce. you could ass fuck her with face in the toilet and it can't be used against her in court. (divorce court) everything gets split 50/50. any property gets divided evenly (monetary wise). any assets gets divided evenly.

if your state no-fault then do what you want. if that means hanging with your friends, DO IT! quit sitting around the house. if you want to get coked up and bang strippers DO IT! if you want to take a shit on the floor go ahead and do that too.

if your state is not a no-fault state you should look into what the fuck shes been doing and is doing. you stand a good chance of getting bent over the barrel regardless of whether you do a damn thing wrong or not. do you really want this woman getting half of the house, half of your retirement, your bike, your car and possibly a portion of whatever you make over the rest of your life? put yourself in the best position possible. find out what shes doing and whether or not you can use it against her in court.
 

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DUDE, GET OUT NOW.

Seriously. I'm in the exact same situation of being in the middle of a divorce and living with her.
I just got out of jail at 2am this morning from a tiff we had over her not coming home until noon the next day.
She's going to flaunt it in front of you? I call BS. Well, I called BS and she called the cops.
I was more mad because I had a crying 4 year old sobbing; "where is Mommy?" and having no answer other than she's got something better to do than be with you, little one.
I thought we could be cool until the house sold. I even banged her on occasion and often, you couldn't tell we were getting divorced.
But I paid the bills and she runs around town. No reason to keep her around to flaunt her sex life in my face. Of course, my issue is that I still love her. So it hurts.

But last week we were knocking boots and getting along great. Last night I slept in a car after being released from county lock up. I can't go to my own home for 3 days on restraining order. So while she couldn't be bothered to come home, now I CAN'T go home. And she's living in a house that I pay for (it's joint so I can't force her out, even though she doesn't pay bills).

Seriously, someting is likely to set you off in her presence. Next thing you know, after 15 minutes of fighting, you're sitting in the can for 2 days waiting to be raped by a judge.
It happened to me this sunday. It can happen to you. My advice is to kick her to the curb where her behavior isn't right in your face. You may think it's all cool, and so did I. but I got a 6 month sentence suspended (2 year defferred) to prove otherwise. It can just escalate too quick.

BTW, I didn't hit her. I tossed her crap on the lawn and snatched her phone away when she was calling the cops. In CO, snatching a phone (I threw it on the lawn with her sh1t) is a class 1 misdemeanor. Called "Obstruction of phone use". Tok a judge 6 minutes to give me 6 months for it. Now I gotta be sqeaky clean for two years or risk getting that time in county.

Seriously, man. Get outta dodge.
 

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Wow Solly...that really sux! Sorry to hear about your situation :(
 

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brought it on myself RSixxy. No one to blame but me. Yeah, she's f**ked up and acting like a b1tch, but no one made me lose my cool but me. I just didn't rise above her behavior, and in fact sunk even lower by getting arrested right in front of my daughter. I lost any shred of moral high ground I had. And now she owns me in a divorce court.

but you know, I was just clearing her out of the way so you can come to CO and get together, RSixxy.
 
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