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SBN's bad luck charm
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Okay, in the spirit of the "Ode To Men" thread, I've decided to try my hand at it. I've tried to write something similar. I go on past experiences and as such, is only a best guess as to how women think, feel, and act. In no way is this meant to be authoritative. It is merely meant as my personal thank-you to women I've known and yet to meet.

Please don't flame me, I know that this isn't how every woman is, just what I've seen as consistent behavior and mannerisms in an overwhelming number of women I've met and personally known. And yes, in case you asked, this is gonna be sickeningly sweet and a dozen different kinds of ass-kissy. :eek:nfloor

Enjoy...

Ode To Women

I love women. I love everything about them. I love their endless giving and the fact that they'll usually drop whatever it is they're doing and help you out, if you need it. How they'll ask you for help with that warm smile. How defenseless and vulnerable they're capable of being. For example, if they have a flat and you help them, the smile they give you will warm even the iciest of hearts. No matter how tired, angry, sad, or otherwise pre-occupied they are, they'll listen to you complain about the littlest things and offer you advice not even the wisest of men could give. If they are mothers, their boundless devotion and love for their children is a better high than anything in nature. Screaming, fit-throwing kids will test their patience, true, but you better believe that women will always keep their cool. The way that they gather their brood around them when danger arises and will fight to the death to protect them.

I love their bodies. Skin like silk and curves that belong in the Louvre. God was in a fine mood when he created woman. The way they smell after they get out of the shower, like powder and fresh-cut flowers. How they worry incessantly if they smell OK, look good, if their (insert body part here) are getting a little heavy. Their insecurities, whether hidden or not, about their bodies, even if they model for Victoria's Secret. Their neck, how it looks with the sun shining through their tresses. Their delicate bone structure and how it reminds men to treat them like porcelain. Breasts...what can I say? Mythical in their ability to capitivate mens' attention and how women wonder why men find breasts so damned magical. I quote Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman": Nipples staring right out at you, like secret searchlights. Hips, legs, arms, back: all of it ethereal and absolutely riveting. How they can get your attention with just a glance. How they love it, no matter how much to the contrary they say so, when men admire their forms. For how much they admire mens' bodies, no matter how covertly they do it. How their subtle signals tell men that they'd like to talk a little. Holding your gaze, hairplay, coy, flirty grins that whisper for your attention, a gentle squeeze of your arm, and how mad and confused they get when you don't notice. The way they curl up next to you on the couch, totally comfortable in your prescence, yet with an air of reservation. The way they flip and fidget with their hair while talking to you. The way that hair cascades down their faces and allows you to appreciate their feminine delicacy. Their hands, slender and graceful, and the way they feel on you when you dance with them.

I love them for their decency. The fact that no matter what hideous frock some other woman is wearing, they unfailingly tell them it's cute, and in private, they'll wonder what the hell that woman was thinking. How they can look at another woman and, regardless of weight, muscle tone, whatever, tell them straight-faced that they look fabulous (and then wonder the same about themselves). When they see a kid in a stroller, they automatically coo and smile, complimenting the mother on how cute their kid is, even if that kid is wearing a mask made of Kool-Aid, ants, dirt, and grass. The way they always know the right thing to do, like telling you to apologize when you said something wrong to someone else, even if what you said sounded innocent to you. Their gentle reminders of important dates and events. How their voice is lilting and enchanting.

I love how they make love: with their legs open and their arms wrapped around your neck. Sometimes bossy but always inviting, giving, warm. The way they smile when they know they've pleased you. How glassy their eyes are when you give them pleasure. And, especially, how eager they are to give you the same. Their giggles, their laughter. How, despite how insecure men are about their techniques or their "package", women assure them that it's fine, all while wearing that warm smile that made your heart skip a beat at first sight. How they can't stop touching you during lovemaking, and how it makes you feel. I love how women are enveloped in a glow afterwards. How they love to cuddle after sex and the way they run their fingers over your chest and caress your face. How they whisper, "baby" into your ear, letting you know you're the only one they are with, right here, right now.

I love women for how emotional they can be. How they can project their fantasies into the movie they are watching. How they cry at romantic movies, and how they feel when their man comforts them. How they can just cry, apparently for no reason, other than they needed a release somehow, and how whole they feel afterwards. The way they grab each others' hands when they cry. How they can talk and talk and talk and talk to their girlfriends about seemingly trivial matters and how talking about those things can improve their relations with one another. How they love pedicures and manicures and hairstyles and how they obsess over shades, colors, tones, etcetera with one another and how sexy it makes them feel afterwards. How they can endure untold pain and still smile. How they say they have no ego and are then crushed by a few venomous words. I love it when they ask you if you've noticed anything different about them when they get back (and the look they get when you compliment them on it without them asking). Girls' nights out. Shopping. Sighing over whatever Hollywood hunk is their favorite, and for how they look at you when you've been caught looking at your Hollywood girl.

I love women for how they treat their man. How they'll bring he and his buddies sandwiches and beer when they watch sports or play cards. Or when they bring you a cold drink when you change their oil. The look they give you when you tell them you're going over to John's to watch the game, instead of staying home with her, just because she wants to be with you. Their dedication to their relationship with you, and how they'll indulge your fantasies (well, most of 'em, anyway). How they hold your hand in public, as if to say, "Stay back, bitches. He's mine." How protective and nuturing they are towards you. Hugs come by instinct. The way they rub your shoulders after the game. How they will hop into the shower with you by surprise. I love how they take a while to get ready for a night out, and how sexy they feel afterward. Bringing you lunch at work. Calling you just to say she loves you. Wearing your clothes, not only because they're comfy but because they allow your girl to have a piece of you with them. Their memory: the way they can remember to the second when you told her you loved her and how she flaked out on the fact that it's Superbowl Sunday. How they flash you occasionally, while wearing a saucy grin that tells you you're getting some later.

Lastly, I love women for the fact that they are just that, women.
 

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That's Mrs. Hawker 2U!
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That was alright...are you trolling or what??? :)
 

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^^^ HA! HA! HA! HA! :eek:nfloor

It's a darn good read, but unfortunately, I'm nothing like what you described. No matter how hard I try to be a girl, I fall very short. Keep saying and thinking just what you wrote and any girl will fall at your feet.....
 

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Excellent job of turning about the craigslist post. You have accurately captured the stuff that I struggle with- the assumption that women are naturally nurturing, kind, social, and generally made of sugar and spice. I'm more the puppy-dog tails type. :beer

If you're polling about the typical woman, you're in the wrong place. As you can see. :rolleyes

I predict that you're not gonna be single for long. And once you find a woman who appreciates all that sugar in her bowl, you'll have a keeper.
 

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Chauncey said:
Lastly, I love women for the fact that they are just that, women.
:boink I like that!! There are so many reasons to love a women, but that last line is the best!! Nicely done Chauncey, when you find her, she will be the lucky one.
 

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SBN's bad luck charm
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
blndebmbr said:
That was alright...are you trolling or what??? :)
Hahaha...nah, not trolling. Just felt like puttin' a lil sugar out here. After all, dontcha think we could all use a lil bit every now and then?
 

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Chauncey said:
Just felt like puttin' a lil sugar out here. After all, dontcha think we could all use a lil bit every now and then?
sure, why not, but a little sugar is a little sugar. After ready that chocolate coated turd my teeth hurt! :joke
 

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SBN's bad luck charm
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
japbike said:
sure, why not, but a little sugar is a little sugar. After ready that chocolate coated turd my teeth hurt! :joke

:eek:nfloor

Restoring my faith and love for women, japbike!! :lao
 
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