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Like Bing and Bong
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Women can bring so much joy, yet be so difficult sometimes.
I've been with my g/f for a little over 3 years now. Some would say that is ample time and either move onto the next step in the relationship or move on with out her. I'm the type of guy where it really doesn't bother me to just be dating for such a long time with no ring on her finger. Her on the other hand...the exact opposite. She wants to get married which to me is a huge deal. She's an excellent girl friend, I couldn't ask for anything more as far as our relationship is concerned.
The sad thing about being in the military is all the good byes though. She doesn't like saying them, and I can't blame her for that, but she knows there will be times regardless of our status where she will have to say good bye.
Her stance is now that she can't wait forever. I always imagined that "moment" when I get married to be special and for me to provide her with the best ring possible. Right now I don't have the financial capability to give her a really expensive ring. I was planning on doing so when I return from Iraq hopefully next summer. It doesn't seem like she is willing to wait that long. So what am I supposed to do..suck it up and give her some sort of promise ring to let her know it is my full intention to marry her? I find that whole idea to be corny as hell but I don't know what else to do.
Thoughts...opinions?
Can't live with them, can't live w/out them. :confused:
 

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Dizzle said:
Women can bring so much joy, yet be so difficult sometimes.
I've been with my g/f for a little over 3 years now. Some would say that is ample time and either move onto the next step in the relationship or move on with out her. I'm the type of guy where it really doesn't bother me to just be dating for such a long time with no ring on her finger. Her on the other hand...the exact opposite. She wants to get married which to me is a huge deal. She's an excellent girl friend, I couldn't ask for anything more as far as our relationship is concerned.
The sad thing about being in the military is all the good byes though. She doesn't like saying them, and I can't blame her for that, but she knows there will be times regardless of our status where she will have to say good bye.
Her stance is now that she can't wait forever. I always imagined that "moment" when I get married to be special and for me to provide her with the best ring possible. Right now I don't have the financial capability to give her a really expensive ring. I was planning on doing so when I return from Iraq hopefully next summer. It doesn't seem like she is willing to wait that long. So what am I supposed to do..suck it up and give her some sort of promise ring to let her know it is my full intention to marry her? I find that whole idea to be corny as hell but I don't know what else to do.
Thoughts...opinions?
Can't live with them, can't live w/out them. :confused:

Hate to say it but if you dont "do the right thing" you will lose her :a2

I went through 4 incredable women doing just what you are doing, just being with her. But for 5 years plus in 3 of them. Biggest mistake I made was not manning up and doing it.... I may be wrong but experience has proven otherwise. Do it or lose it.

I didn't and after number 3 took off with my dog and alot of my stuff I should have learned. But I guess it wasnt meant to be.

I had the best experience in my life cut short by the 9-11 mess :a2 I waited too long. She took a job away from Hawaii and that ended that. No amount of kicking myself can change it. I blew it. If I had done the right thing, my life and hers would be dramaticly different, Im sure of it. Its one of the hardest lessons in life Ive had to suffer through. I got no one to blame but myself....

I finally resigned myself to a life of solitude. Really fucked me over mentally. I went down so far its amazing I made it back to see light of day....

All the signs were there I just didnt read them :confused: I dont think I could handle another raking over the coals like I had that last time.....

This may not be your situation, but it sounds like you have a good woman there. You dont want to lose a good thing.....
 

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Great advise KH,and that sucks about the dog.........
 

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Back in Black
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Never ever get married. Give her a promise ring...that'll buy some time...maybe you'll get lucky and it'll buy a few years. Then give her an engagement ring, and buy more time. Maybe anoth 3 years. Before ya know it, she'll forget about getting married and think she already is. :D
 

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Like Bing and Bong
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Discussion Starter #7
You guys crack me up. :)
 

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Owned by marriage
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Let it go...If it comes back it was ment to be...............
 

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It's hard to find a good dog.
 

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Dam Right Alask :dblthumb

Heres the neighborhood terror at 3-4 months LOLz a Baby Great Dane! I hope she got dragged a few blocks by Maile :eek:nfloor She (Maile) would see sumtin and take off.... nuthin would stop her LOL She dragged me a few times on the beach! On a sidewalk you would look like ya took a dive off the bike nekkid ROFL :eek:nfloor

Check dem Hooves!!! :eek: she weighed almost 160 when she was mini horse size!
 

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Mr. Lesbian said:
Promise ring will buy you some time. It's bought me an extra 2-3 years now.
WOW if a ring gets 2-3 years imagine what a whole set of jewlery would get :lao j/k if you sure then go ahead man take the plunge good luck
 

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this is what i do not get with men. they talk about they have a girlfriend that is everything they could ever want...then WHAT THE HELL IS STOPPING YOU FROM GETTING MARRIED?

so POINTLESS. if a woman is not the best, she not getting settled, if she is, she still not getting no commitment...i feel sorry for that girl. But she is going about it the wrong way, she should not be pressuring you into a marriage you are not ready for, that is understandable, but selfish.

Me, i can't humiliate myself by begging a man to marry me who has not found me worth asking on his freaking own. If I feel ready, and a year later he is not on the same wavelength, I will cut my losses and if he wants to know why, I will calmly tell him why. I feel if a man wants to marry me but is waiting on the money to do it, he can damn well tell me exactly that, and not just be all talk, he should be telling me that 6 months after he has started a separate savings account for it and has 6 months worth of regular deposits saved up as proof...THAT is more real than some corny ass promise ring. Evidence of ACTION taken in the right direction, not lip service, will get me to stick around.

But I not begging a jackman to commit his life to me. If he thought i was worth it, he would do it and done. And if he doens't find me worth it, some other man always will...hmpf!
 

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$460 gets a Japbike
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Dizzle said:
The sad thing about being in the military is all the good byes though. She doesn't like saying them, and I can't blame her for that, but she knows there will be times regardless of our status where she will have to say good bye.

Right now I don't have the financial capability to give her a really expensive ring. I was planning on doing so when I return from Iraq hopefully next summer. It doesn't seem like she is willing to wait that long.
Two points, military goodbye have one major set back over other goodbyes, they really can mean goodbye, especially with the current status in Iraq for instance, you may never come back......

Second, will this be your first tour in Iraq? If yes, there is a slight fear in her mind you may not return, if it isn't, how lucky can you actually be, so many have lost their lives over there, so many have lost their loved ones, too many never got to tell them or show them just how much they do love them.
I have a feeling this is her way of telling you, you better be safe and get your ass back here in 1 peice, you better not let me down, we're getting married....We have a long and blissful live ahead, so be safe and come home to me......

Just my idea of what may be going on.

My advice, if you truly love her, it doesn't matter what size the ring is, it doesn't matter how big the wedding is, what matters is that you love each other. So get out there, find a ring that says exactly what you feel.... For instance a mans silver, gold or platinum wedding band with say "wait for me" or "will you marry me" inscribed on the inside...... Any ring really one that says exactly what you want to say, something that she will wear with pride and cause her heart to beat everyday with love for you while your away......
 

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Brownilus said:
this is what i do not get with men. they talk about they have a girlfriend that is everything they could ever want...then WHAT THE HELL IS STOPPING YOU FROM GETTING MARRIED?

so POINTLESS. if a woman is not the best, she not getting settled, if she is, she still not getting no commitment...i feel sorry for that girl. But she is going about it the wrong way, she should not be pressuring you into a marriage you are not ready for, that is understandable, but selfish.

Me, i can't humiliate myself by begging a man to marry me who has not found me worth asking on his freaking own. If I feel ready, and a year later he is not on the same wavelength, I will cut my losses and if he wants to know why, I will calmly tell him why. I feel if a man wants to marry me but is waiting on the money to do it, he can damn well tell me exactly that, and not just be all talk, he should be telling me that 6 months after he has started a separate savings account for it and has 6 months worth of regular deposits saved up as proof...THAT is more real than some corny ass promise ring. Evidence of ACTION taken in the right direction, not lip service, will get me to stick around.

But I not begging a jackman to commit his life to me. If he thought i was worth it, he would do it and done. And if he doens't find me worth it, some other man always will...hmpf!
MMMMMM HMMMMMM!!! :phatyo
:cheers
 

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Like Bing and Bong
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Discussion Starter #17
UK_R6 said:
Two points, military goodbye have one major set back over other goodbyes, they really can mean goodbye, especially with the current status in Iraq for instance, you may never come back......

Second, will this be your first tour in Iraq? If yes, there is a slight fear in her mind you may not return, if it isn't, how lucky can you actually be, so many have lost their lives over there, so many have lost their loved ones, too many never got to tell them or show them just how much they do love them.
I have a feeling this is her way of telling you, you better be safe and get your ass back here in 1 peice, you better not let me down, we're getting married....We have a long and blissful live ahead, so be safe and come home to me......

Just my idea of what may be going on.

My advice, if you truly love her, it doesn't matter what size the ring is, it doesn't matter how big the wedding is, what matters is that you love each other. So get out there, find a ring that says exactly what you feel.... For instance a mans silver, gold or platinum wedding band with say "wait for me" or "will you marry me" inscribed on the inside...... Any ring really one that says exactly what you want to say, something that she will wear with pride and cause her heart to beat everyday with love for you while your away......
I appreciate that. Really made me stop and think. It is going to be my first tour of duty there. The first of many apparently. 7 on, 5 off...so on, so on.
I guess I need to suck it up and make a move or be done with it forever.
 

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Dizzle at 23 let me tell you as someone who has done the young marriage thing already: if you are not wholeheartedly ready, do not inflict your unwilling heart onto somebody who wants a man willing to be with her FOREVER.

what is with you military guys marrying so young anyway? break it off and take your tour with a clear head. if you come back and she's around, fine, if not, she has her mind free to find someone who doesn't feel marriage to her is something he must "suck up" like he's taking a bullet for the damn unit or something.

You are about to go to a death zone and she is looking for LIFE with someone...you figure out how muh sense it makes to hurry up and get married and then be shipped off? You should always have the first year of your marriage TOGETHER to set a base for it before any distance is involved. I learned that the hard way.

You'll do as you please, of course, but you know if you want it or not, and if the answer is not a definite yes, it is NO. It is ok to realize you and the girl not on the same wavelength. Women have biological clocks that stop ticking before they die. A man can breed til he drops dead, so you all have no instincts to move it along. We do.
 

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If there is any doubt in your mind (which it sounds like there is) then you shouldn't do it. Someone told me this and that I should apply it to any big decisions I will/have made in my life.
 

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I don't understand the point of really getting married. IF two people love each other and know it would do youhave to go about it legally? If it's for tax benefits and things like that i understand, but other then that why get married? Why ever call yourself bf/gf if you know you really only want each other?
 
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