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Discussion Starter #1
Anybody out there have any experience with this. Is it wrong of me to assume that most women with kids are on average a little bit more clingy that than others. That’s just what I think. Don’t know. Don’t think I’m against getting in a relationship with them but it just makes sense to me to be a little most cautious. Make sure that they want you for you and not just to have somebody, anybody. Oh and if the kids are brats, forget it.
I’ve got this buddy that is dating a woman with kids. I know for a fact that she is very clingy. She doesn’t give him an inch of slack and needs him around all the time. I’d be running for the hills. Not sure if it’s about love or just to has a warm body around. Problem is I’m not all that sure that he is into her. He hasn’t been his normal happy self since he started dating her. Plus one time a month ago, while I was around, she called him to complain that he was starting to get distant. Needless to say, since that call he has spent every waking, non-working minute with her. He is also the kind of guy that likes to be with someone just to have them around. That and he is a nice guy that doesn’t like to hurt people. Plus he likes kids. So I can’t tell if he feels sorry for her, the kids, or himself because he sure as heck isn’t in it for love.
Now, none of this is my business and I don’t intend to make it may business unless he buys a ring. Then I may ask him if he knows what he’s doing. Funny. A week or two after they started dating I teased him by saying that she’d say yes right now if he’d offer to marry her. Actually floored me when he said “I know she would” and he wasn’t happy about it.
So I’m pretty sure the only way this relationship will brake up is if he does it. Don’t think he has ever been the dumper in his life. But like I said, none of my business. If he buys a ring, I may have to do a little picking of his brain. I am a friend and would hate to see him make a mistake. I could be wrong, they may both be in love. If so, the sign are miss leading.
Anyway, I’m interesting in know what kind of experience anyone’s had with women with kids. Is it safe to assume you should approach with caution or am I wrong.
 

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Official SBN Party Pooper
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I've never dated a woman with kids, however, I would always go by one rule. Never meet the kids until you are sure that the relationship is going somewhere. No sense to confuse the kids and further then they may already be with mommy and daddy splitting up. Now mommy has some guy coming over and seeing him once or twice while he is gone.

This may sound chauvenist but I would think the clingy part is that the women would want a man around the house to help out, father figure for the kid, etc. They may be looking for something to fill the void. Can't really say this happens with guys because 9 times out of 10 the mother gets the kids.
 

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Combat Marshmellow
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i've dated a few single moms - no biggie - every person is different....
just need to be a little more respectful of her space and what she says in relation to the kids....i didn't find any of the single moms i dated to be any different from any other women i've dated....
they are all needy as hell :neener















j/k girls don't start flaming... :beer
 

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i've done it and it is diffrent you have to take in consideration the kid, no way around it and to be honest it was a cool experince i like the little guy and even though it did not work between me and his mom i still check on him from time to time
 

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First, only the worst trashy woman will introduce you to her children before you are in a long term committed relationship. The preservation of the family dynamic will be the most important thing for a woman of decent values. Keep that in mind. Second, remember they are single for a reason. Could be the man was a problem, but not always.
 

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I agree with Rascus & f2benny, I am a mom and I would NEVER introduce my kids to any man unless I was 100% sure that we were going further than just dating (before I got married). A lot of times the guy never even knew where I lived. I was the one who would go out and do my business on the street, not bring my business into the home.
 

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I've dated two women with kids and neither of them was overly clingy. Matter of fact the exact opposite. The first I'm still friends with. The second was a fucking nut and I'm best off without her.
 

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Back in Black
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I'd have no problem dating a women with kids, as long as they're not looking for a daddy. I've got a kid myself, so why not?
 

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I have found most women with kids are more cautious, not clingy. Only advice I would give...Be upfront and honest at all times in all things...Her life is difficult enough trying to support and raise kid/s without head games or complications from you. If your intention is friendship and sex...be upfront still...she just might surprise you...
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I guess I based what I thought on that most guys would try to stay away from women with kids. Thought that it used to be this way. Maybe it isn't so much anymore. Could be an age group thing. In the college age group this maybe true. I'm 27 now and the age group I'm in doesn't seem to care as much. Guess the older you get it becomes more of a fact of life you have to/learn to deal with.
 

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You didn't specify how many kids. My friend is dating a gal with 4 kids...all boys at that. Seems good so far, but lets wait and see.
I noticed dating women with boys is much harder than dating women with girls. One time I went on a date with a girl that had two boys and in the middle of the meal one kid went ballistic and started throwing food on the floor, when his mom couldnt control him I simply asked her if she wanted to leave, at that time the kid positions to throw food at me, I then said "boy don't do that or I will snatch you from your seat and whoop ya".
Well he chunked mashed taters (missed by the way) I stood up, reach over the table, snagged his ass from the chair (pulled him over the table and food), took him outside and 2 wails on the behind. He came in running to mommy crying, but straightend up after that. Since then I havent seen the girl, but we talk on occasion and she said her "kid" is taking rittalin.
Kid needs some discipline, not drugs.
 

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beowulf2k said:
Kid needs some discipline, not drugs.


:cheers ... :dblthumb
 

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Combat Marshmellow
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beowulf2k said:
Kid needs some discipline, not drugs.
preach-on.... kids today or maybe it's the parents, don't have a clue....
 

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i didn't read this thread. I dated a single mom one time. I found her more independant, but at the same time, moved things along alot quicker... she made assumptions about the status of things and it didn't work out.
 

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I think there are 2 kinds of single moms, 1) the single mom who has kids and the kids father is not in their life AT ALL, kids never met the man, don't know who he is OR did know who he is and has never seen him again. 2) single moms who are divorced or never been married but either the way the father plays an active role in the lives of the kid. #1 situation, those women do tend to be a bit more clingy hoping to make the dream family w/2 parents & kids in the household. #2 situation are the more independent women who know what they want and are less clingy and are not looking for a baby daddy, their kids already have one. If course there are exceptions to everything, this is just my $0.02
 

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[background info]i was a single mom for a few years...my child lived with his father b/c i was a private in the army and his daddy made better $$ and was able to give him a better life at the time...i was never home and the boy would've spent more time with a sitter than with me...+ his dad was in FL close to our families and had awesome support from all of them....[/background info]

i dated but would NEVER even go on a date with a guy who had kids....EVER...kind of hypocritical BUT i didn't want to deal with the mother of the kids...AND/OR having a child resent me b/c i was with their father but wasn't their mom....guys i dated knew up front that i had a son....i was never clingy or looking for a warm body...i was dating to have a good time and was in no way looking for a husband or 2d daddy for my kid...however, i never let it get more serious than fuck buddy/hanging out having a good time buddy unless i thought that they could be a good dad/husband down the line...why waste my time? i'd already had a failed marriage and one child with a broken home...i knew i wanted more children and to fall in love with a great person all around if a guy started getting too clingy and i felt he wanted more than i did at that time i cut them loose...like i said i wasn't actively LOOKING for a husband or father for my future kids....

my child did meet some of the ppl i dated...but it was always at a bbq or some type of event with a lrger group of ppl...i made it very clear clear that my child would NOT know that i even had a boyfriend and that we would not ride with the bf to any gathering or do anything with the bf without it being a group thing....all of my friends also knew that when my son was with me my world was a totally different one than when my son was back in FL...

[BEGIN LONG DRAWN OUT STORY]
son only met 3 guys i dated and knew that we were dating...the first was probably too soon, but it made me aware of how i needed to handle my dating when my son was with me...the second was very serious and once i felt that we were on the same page with our relationship and that we truly loved and respected one another i brought him home to meet my family...he was reaaly anxious to see me with my son....but we saved that for a later trip home to FL...when they finally did meet for the first time my bf and i picked him up from his dad's house and the bf and ex shook hands and we all chatted for a little bit...i think it was very good for my son to see that his dad was ok with the situation...probably uncomfortable but we were all cordial for the sake of the child....bf and son really hit it off, like they had known each other for years...that was the best feeling for me as a mom and SO ever!

we dated for a good while but it just didn't work out...i was always very honest with my son about relationship with bf and how i felt about him but that he would never want to takethe place of his dad....and when it didn't work out i was again very honest with my son...it ended on good terms...

the 3d bf is now my hubby....and i knew from almost the moment i met him that he was it for me....it's been a little bumpy along the way sometimes...but isn't life usually?
 

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No limit hypocrite
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When I met my wife, she already had a 15 month old son.. And she was ANTI-Clingy.. I spent a year of off / on / off dating her before we finally got it right. And she wouldnt let me even meet her son until she was sure about me.. She didnt want me to confuse him...
Seems that if a woman throws her kids at you immediately, then she just wants a "body" there for security... If she tries to protect her kids until she is sure you are a good guy, then she is in it for love.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Punkwood2k said:
Seems that if a woman throws her kids at you immediately, then she just wants a "body" there for security... If she tries to protect her kids until she is sure you are a good guy, then she is in it for love.
Good point. Good way to tell.
 
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