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Discussion Starter #1
I have a friend that I suspect has a drug problem. She's everything I could ask for in a girlfriend but the only thing that is keeping me back from pursuing it is her liking for drugs. The past couple days I've been losing sleep trying to figure out the best way to confront her about it. She's the type of person that is gonna do whatever the hell she wants and I don't want it to come off like I'm telling her what to do. I figure she's gonna get pissed and defensive when I bring it up but I want her to realize that I'm just trying to help her out and I want to see the best for her. I know it's gonna be tough to clean herself up because her friends and family are all into it too. Has anyone else been in a situation like this and how did it work out?
 

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KH, Rest In Peace Brother
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Shit! That's a tall order bro! Sometimes they have to hit bottom before they come up for air. Not sure there is any exact way to do right except to lay it on the line and see what happens. Sorry, wished I was more help.
 

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She's the type of person that is gonna do whatever the hell she wants and I don't want it to come off like I'm telling her what to do. You said it all right there. Move on. She isnt gonna change because of you. Sorry to say it but Ive been involved in nightmares of this sore and they arent pretty. I also worked for the state for a while at there dash program and believe me I know it aint easy. My own sister in still a group member of dash because she was a herion addict. All it will do is end in heartache.
 

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As mentioned, she will have to pretty much hit rock bottom and ask for help. People addicted to drugs get more defensive and elusive to help when confronted. Good luck.
 

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I discovered my friends gf has been taking anxiety medicine when she drinks and painkillers. I promised her I would not let him know, for now, but i told her straight up to quit being stupid, and I flushed her stash.

Throw your feelings aside and help her, dont help her just so she is datable just do something. worry about your high school crush later, besides in the process of you being there for her to rehab you may develop something deeper than a crush, but that is trivial compared to helping your friend.
 

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Well what kind of drug problem are we talking about here? What does she do and how often does she do it?
 

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I think this situation is much too serious to take advice from SBN'ers. I think you should call some sort of help line with people trained to answer these sorts of questions.
 

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Juggalo said:
I discovered my friends gf has been taking anxiety medicine when she drinks and painkillers. I promised her I would not let him know, for now, but i told her straight up to quit being stupid, and I flushed her stash.

Throw your feelings aside and help her, dont help her just so she is datable just do something. worry about your high school crush later, besides in the process of you being there for her to rehab you may develop something deeper than a crush, but that is trivial compared to helping your friend.


+1 on this
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I'm not trying to help her out just so I can date her. The situation is way more important to me than just trying to get a girlfriend out of the deal. I truly want to see the best for her and I'm willing to do whatever I can to help her out.

She loves the coke. The other night I was over her house she spent about an hour and a half trying to get some. She said she only did it when it was convenient but I wouldn't call that long of a wait convenient by any means. When she realized she couldn't find any, she bought this other stuff but I don't remember the name of it. She was being sneaky about it and the only reason I knew she snorted a line of whatever she had was because she sat down on the couch next to me wiping around her nose.

I plan on talking to her Friday at the latest so we'll see how it goes.
 

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Old school fool
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I have to agree with KH. You need to get clear of this. What would have happened to you if she had scored some coke and then the cops busted in on you? Even if you weren't using you'd have been arrested.

It's a great thing to help friends, but you're not a drug counselor or a LEO so you haven't got the training to deal with it. I'd say chances are even if you do confront her about it, you won't be her friend anymore. One day, a decade or two from now, she might understand why you got involved, but now she won't and you'll just be a dickhead.

I know it sounds mean, but run like hell and don't look back.
 

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From what you say she is obviously very addicted to it, my old roomate was the same way. When it comes down to it, the drugs are more important to them than any person. If you seriously want to help her, then do what you can, but if you are looking for some type of relationship, RUN...trust me, theres no good that will come from it.
 

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From back in da' day
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if she was snorting a powder other than coke, it was probably meth AKA "Crank". That is the 2nd choice for a lot of coke addicts. When you get to Meth...well you are going around the bowl....the only thing left to do is go down the hole. Get this chick some help and FAST!! Meth is SOOO bad for you both mentally and physically, it breaks down your body's immune system, it rots out your teeth (if you smoke the glass dick), this drug is terrible and is next to impossible to beat on your own. People can quit for a while but then if they get with someone who is doing it you can believe they will be right back to it. Get her help if shes a friend!!
 

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I own license2ill
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Will she change? Probably not untill she is ready. I went through my drug life already and I got addicted to lots of shit. I took speed all the time. Pot all the time. Coke was always around. Ect. No one was going to stop me no matter what. I did not care who they were. I hit the bottom and needed help and this is were I found help. All the people I thought would want no part of me since I was a asshole were all there to help. I don't touch any of the other stuff anymore other than an occasonal Joint. But I learned to hide the problem from the people that gave me shit.

Trying to help some one in this situation is like playing with a gun that you are not sure is loaded or not. It may be fun and good at first but you can lose a lot fast.
 

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you can only help her if she wants to be helped...

If she doesn't want help, prepare yourself to be lied to, stolen from, disappointed, etc...

If you care, you'll keep trying to help her until she's ready to accept your help... then prepare for relapses, lies, disappointment, etc...

Keep trying to help until it works.
 

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As young as you are, this will not be the last time you get into this position. Try to change the world with this one, find out how helpless and insignificant you really are against an addictive substance, and learn from it so you can walk away the next time. Just keep your valuables close to you whenever this woman is nearby.
 

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Krazy Hawaiian said:
She's the type of person that is gonna do whatever the hell she wants and I don't want it to come off like I'm telling her what to do. You said it all right there. Move on. She isnt gonna change because of you. Sorry to say it but Ive been involved in nightmares of this sore and they arent pretty. I also worked for the state for a while at there dash program and believe me I know it aint easy. My own sister in still a group member of dash because she was a herion addict. All it will do is end in heartache.
I am afraid this is the end of the story...My wife works with adolescent/juvenile drug offenders. She sees the revolving door, and unless your girlfriend is truly committed to quitting, y'all have no future, well, at least a happy future together
 

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Very sad. You basically got yourself into a one-sided relationship. You can see the potential she has for a happy life, with or without you. Only problem is that she can't see that or feels that they only way she has that is with the drugs. Something else is going on in her life that is made her start them in the first place. They seemingly made her problems go away, even if only for the short high period and now she needs them to be happy. Point is that her problems surely go deeper than just drug use, and as much as you want to help, you don't have the ability to do so.

Good luck.
 

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very very sad. actually, i have the same problems with my friends...a few of my friends turned to basers in the last few months, lately the two drugs of choice for them are extacy and cocaine. i told them that they are stupid for trying it, and they know i would never ever try it, but now they are so addicted that they are trying to get me to do it because they also sell it and they want the "buisness" :rolleyes i guess i gotta find new friends now, its a huge shame because they were really good friends to me before their habbit kicked in
 

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Is this the same crazy broad I told you to run away from a couple of weeks back?

I've been through friends with drugs. One of them OD'd last year and didn't come out of it. And after the funeral everybody went out and got wasted. There is no end to it. Tell her she has a problem, if she is an incredibly special person she will accept your helping hand. But likely it's all downhill.
 

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^ shit and ur 19 too? goddam people make me sick.... i see crack heads walkign around all the time and im just like... how is THIS wat u want from ur life?
 
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