[qwik huh]

Its weird to post this but I really don't have anyone to talk to so maybe a bunch of strangers can help. I have been in a bad state of depression for quite awhile now and it has gotten far worse lately to the point that I don't even want to ride my bike as I am afraid I may do something stupid.I guess it began back in Sept 02 when I lost my best friend in a car accident. That was tough to get over and I ended up losing my job in June of 03. I sank pretty low after that and my wife and I ended up selling our house and moving to an apartment in Sept 03. I picked up a job in Sept and worked until Feb when I got bronchitis from working outside in the cold weather. The medicine I was on for bronchitis triggered a reaction and I ended up in the hospital for 2 months with pancreatitis, almost dying of ketoacidosis when I went in with a blood sugar of close to 600 due to my pancreas shutting down. When I got out of the hopsital I was on a portable IV for another 6 weeks. During that time I lost my new job because I had missed too much time due to my illness. Most of my friends are social drinkers and now I am not allowed to have alcohol or I will end up back in the hospital so this has led to me and my wife being alone quite a bit as our friends continue their lifestyle and we cannot. Finally in June I was back on my feet and looking for a job. So far I have had 5 promising interviews and none of them have ever called back. "You look like a great candidate, I will have so-and so call you for a follow up next week". Never heard back. I have tried follow up calls and never get anywhere or hear any logical response. I interviewed 2 weeks ago for a job selling bikes, something I think I would be good at. Interview went pretty well and he said I will call you next week either way. Next week goes by and I hear nothing. I have called and left 2 messages for him since....no call back. Now its starting to cause problems between me and my wife. She has always been VERY supportive but its wearing on her having to go to a job she HATES to support us. I am college educated, had a solid work history up until last year and I cannot find work. I try to get out and do things but I find myself sitting at home more and more doing nothing all day....thinking I am a lost cause and will never find work....wondering why I even bother hanging around anymore...

 

[dennisred69]

See a doctor and get some help meds and consuling. My cuz is in the same situation only he is single and it started the same for him not doing much. Now he never even leaves his room so I would say see a dr. so they can help before its to late. And just try to enjoy the stuff you used to. Sorry I can't help more I don't know to much about this.

 

[pfd53]

Well man first things first you need to have a good attitude. Life isnt meant to be easy you deal with and overcome hardships thats what makes you a better person and a stronger one cause you know you can overcome any obsticals. The only way your life will get better or get yourself out of this depression is if you do something about it! Second dont ever give up in no matter what you do. I lost my father to a rare kidney cancer about 2 yrs ago but he didnt give up without a long hard fight it was hard to see him the last few months but I wouldnt change it for nothing he was an incredible roll model and taught me alot to NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER!! Another thing with my father he was a very religious man and his faith always helped him get through his bad days. Look for the little things in life. For me its when Im having a bad day I go for a ride on the bike and enjoy that sense of being free. Enjoy everything about the ride not everyone can ride so be thankful for what you have and dont abuse it by saying that you might do something stupid. Use the bike as some therapy in a sense. All in all keep your head up and enjoy all that life has to offer after all you only get one shot at it live it to the fullest.

 

[TX35]

The sooner you go see a MD the better. I've been suffering with Anxiety/depression since childhood, but I didn't get help until about 4 years ago. While I do not feel "perfect", I do feel MUCH better about everything... So, definitely go see a MD.... Today, not tomorrow.. Trust me, it will help you & all your family & friends around you too!!!!

 

[chesus]

for me, i just think to myself, worse things could have happened but im still here and alive and am very appreciative of that.

some people i know say they're just depressed naturally, in that case i think you would need to seek the help of a doctor and medication (zoloft?)

good luck with getting employment, i know it's hard, but if you keep at it eventually you will find something. my mom couldn't find work for months but finally landed a temporary position which they now offered her longterm and she loves the job.

 

[Ibleedgreen]

Hang in there man. I'm not a shrink, so this advice is not professional. As you know life is not a bed of roses. Won't say it can't get worse, because it ALWAYS can, but, it can allways get better too. Trust me, you are not alone. Some have bad day's, some bad week's, some bad mounth's, some bad year's.

 

[King Cobra]

There are two kinds of people in this world. Consumers and producers. Everyone is capable of producing something of value to themselves and often, to others as well. Riding motorcycles is a consuming activity that you are denying yourself because you are unable to offset it with production (work). Whatever you enjoy making (whether it be music, painting, conversation, love, food, etc), do it. All humans will be able to further appreciate life once they understand their potential.
As far as work goes, think of the job hunt as playing "connect the dots". The more people you talk to, no matter who they are, increases your chances of finding a job quickly. Somewhere down the line you will run into someone who has a "friend who does the same thing" etc etc...
Happy trails.

 

[BrownRob]

Seek professional help ASAP... there are free ones out there.. if you're a christian, check out the church for help. Your depression is nothing people on this board or anywhere on the internet can help with.

as for looking for a job.. hang in there.. maybe have 3-4 different resumes typed up depending on what job you're going after. Work on your interview skills more if possible. Always send a "thank-you" note to the person you interviewed with.. stay positive and keep searching for a job. Check into job assistance places near you.

Hope everything works out for you.

Rob

 

[King Cobra]

Oh, and unlike Ibleedgreen, my advice is professional. Next time I'll be asking for Visa or Mastercard.

 

[King Cobra]

...as for looking for a job.. hang in there.. maybe have 3-4 different resumes typed up depending on what job you're going after. Work on your interview skills more if possible. Always send a "thank-you" note to the person you interviewed with.. stay positive and keep searching for a job. Check into job assistance places near you.

Hope everything works out for you.

Rob

These are good, concrete ideas unlike my abstract philosophy. Stay away from religious institutions however.

 

[Nevrsumr22]

I can see what you are going through and understand how hard it is. My step family all has it and they have been around me for a long time. You need to go see a doctor. You may not feel better unless you get some meds in you. You can't help what you’re feeling anymore and what anyone tells you to try and cheer you up probably wont work if there is a chemical problem in your brain. You may have had it before all this and the grievances in your life just triggered it. It will not hurt any to go see a doctor and will only make things better. You won’t be able to help your situation unless you help yourself first. Do it before things get worse.

edit - hey look at the guy in my avatar. He looks like he has it rough and he has a smile. It could be always be worse. At least your not a retard. :twofinger

Please no one get mad. Just trying to cheer the guy up a little.

 

[CasterTroy]

Stay away from religious institutions however.

I second that.....don't trust religion....put your faith in God


Dude you've got something I like to call OPPORTUNITY. You've been blessed with the gift of life every day you wake up.......so instead of wondering how you're gonna go on, start trying to consider how much you can get DONE BEFORE you're gone.

LIVE life....don't be AFRAID of life.


I'm sure there's things in life you hope to accomplish before you die aren't there?


Depression is a state of mind that CAN be changed....due to medication or just simply changing your mindset alltogether. If you've ever seen the Shawshank redemption, they make a good point. Get busy living, or get busy dying.


Don't be afraid to die man......just be afraid that you've never LIVED


And if you ever wanna hear what makes me happy to wake up every morning, just PM me...I'll be glad to share what keeps me from bowing to the gloom and doom that seem to be everywhere

 

[Lok]

I second that.....don't trust religion....put your faith in God


Dude you've got something I like to call OPPORTUNITY. You've been blessed with the gift of life every day you wake up.......so instead of wondering how you're gonna go on, start trying to consider how much you can get DONE BEFORE you're gone.

LIVE life....don't be AFRAID of life.


I'm sure there's things in life you hope to accomplish before you die aren't there?


Depression is a state of mind that CAN be changed....due to medication or just simply changing your mindset alltogether. If you've ever seen the Shawshank redemption, they make a good point. Get busy living, or get busy dying.


Don't be afraid to die man......just be afraid that you've never LIVED

+1 I agree with CastorTroy. I think you should talk to somebody in person, it always help, be it a Dr., Pastor, Friend, Family, Praying, whatever. Any of those things will help you. Good luck man, I hope things start turning around for you.

 

[Exhiliration]

Real Estate.

 

[cajunTLR]

Well that sucks that is a bunch of bad luck all in a row. But look at it this way you still have a bike No but seriously if you are worried about a job then don't be that is the easiest thing to get. Here are my suggestions. These are jobs you are guaranteed and both you could make good money at. First one Car sales. Yes I know no one likes a car salesman but I figured if you applied for a bike place then say screw that and make some real money. I did it for 5 years and averaged between 4k-6k a month. You need no skills they prefer it that way so they can teach you the right way. Just look for the biggest dealership with the best reputible name and go in. # 2 is the US military that is what I am doing now ( got all patriatoc after 9/11) they wont turn you down and if you either have or will have a college degree than you can come in as a officer. Or if not you will still come in and make good money come in as Enlisted. And also they will give you money for being married and also it gives you a sense of pride in your country and makes you feel good about your self. Hope this helps and if you feel you need to go see help then please do. And form this post it seems at least you have your head squared away and are willing to talk about it. Good Luck buddie and keep us posted on your situation and what you are going to do. All of us are here for you. Shit PM me and I will give you my number and you can talk to me.

 

[chaOs]

I know what it feels like. The best thing to do is to seek medical help and I would add seeing a psychologist. With medication and psychological help, I'm positive you will get better. That's what I did. I still see the shrink once every 2 weeks and each time I look forward to it. I must admit the bike helped me through rough times too.

Act today, don't waste another day just lying there. It's definately worth it.

 

[Mucho Gonzales]

i had a bout with depression my last few years in college. i didn't seek any professional help, even tho the person i had confided in told me to do so. i probably would've gotten over what it was that was bothering me sooner if i had sought a professional.

anyhow, along the same lines as what others are saying (and i truely believe it now) is...in my case anyway, i just had to get out and enjoy my life for what it was, and not worry about what it was not. it was a music CD that turned it around for me...most importantly this line from the last song on a concept album...

laying in bed tonight I was thinking
and listening to all the dogs
and the sirens and the shots
and how the careful man tries to dodge the bullets
while a happy man takes a walk

i know it may seem silly to some, but that verse really turned things around for me.

 

[21 natas]

I don't know what to tell you really, but be appreciative of your wife and that she is by your side. I usually go out riding to clear my head or blow off some steam or running. This should be just a bump in the road, and you'll get over it. Good Luck

 

[silent_R1]

qwic, i feel you rpain as I have been there myself. I have battled depression for mall of my adult life an dmost of my adolescent life as well (I'm now 31 so thta is like 18 years...). I have tried to commit suicide multip;e times, seen shrinks (I can't spell the pshyciatrists), and been on meds. Buddy, you NEED to go to the doctor. This is no longer an option. you are scared to get on the bike, b/c you are afraid of doing something? That is a scary feeling to have as well. But, that is a wake up call for you more than anything. if you can't get in to see a doctor and your thoughts of harm is overwhelming to you, you need to call someone and get to an ER immediately! I am not joking on this. You have been dealt seveeral blows in quick succession, but you are alive and you have a wife that cares about you a great deal in addition to the people who have repsonded to this. Do get some help. you would be surprised wht the difference medication can make for you.

 

[TheWraith]

And if you ever wanna hear what makes me happy to wake up every morning, just PM me...I'll be glad to share what keeps me from bowing to the gloom and doom that seem to be everywhere

It's me...isn't it. I'm your gooey center. I can feel it!

Find something you've never done, something new, and do it. Maybe it's something as simple as going fishing. Maybe it's reading a book. Maybe it's climbing Mt. Everest. It doesn't have to be overly creative, just do something recreational that you've never done before. And, honestly, if your wife is upset that she has to work a job she doesn't entirely enjoy to support the family...tell her, "Welcome to life". Nothing burns me more than the thought of womens lib, equal rights...but when the shoe is on the other foot all you hear is bitching and moaning. I'm sure she wouldn't be upset if YOU were the breadwinner in a job you didn't find enjoyable.

Tell her you're getting bored sitting around at home and you'd like her to have a baby, and that you're looking foward to staying home raising the child while she is off working at the grindstone of life. You'll find work. It will happen even if you have to accept some work you might otherwise not prefer, but it brings in a paycheck. You aren't what you do for a living. It doesn't comprise who you are as an individual. Be who you are. Right now, you're a man just looking to secure himself a decent paying job. It's a daunting task. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

Even the women sitting at home not concerned that their husbands work a job they don't enjoy. You should probably seek councelling to help you cope - in the interim.