Its weird to post this but I really don't have anyone to talk to so maybe a bunch of strangers can help. I have been in a bad state of depression for quite awhile now and it has gotten far worse lately to the point that I don't even want to ride my bike as I am afraid I may do something stupid.I guess it began back in Sept 02 when I lost my best friend in a car accident. That was tough to get over and I ended up losing my job in June of 03. I sank pretty low after that and my wife and I ended up selling our house and moving to an apartment in Sept 03. I picked up a job in Sept and worked until Feb when I got bronchitis from working outside in the cold weather. The medicine I was on for bronchitis triggered a reaction and I ended up in the hospital for 2 months with pancreatitis, almost dying of ketoacidosis when I went in with a blood sugar of close to 600 due to my pancreas shutting down. When I got out of the hopsital I was on a portable IV for another 6 weeks. During that time I lost my new job because I had missed too much time due to my illness. Most of my friends are social drinkers and now I am not allowed to have alcohol or I will end up back in the hospital so this has led to me and my wife being alone quite a bit as our friends continue their lifestyle and we cannot. Finally in June I was back on my feet and looking for a job. So far I have had 5 promising interviews and none of them have ever called back. "You look like a great candidate, I will have so-and so call you for a follow up next week". Never heard back. I have tried follow up calls and never get anywhere or hear any logical response. I interviewed 2 weeks ago for a job selling bikes, something I think I would be good at. Interview went pretty well and he said I will call you next week either way. Next week goes by and I hear nothing. I have called and left 2 messages for him since....no call back. Now its starting to cause problems between me and my wife. She has always been VERY supportive but its wearing on her having to go to a job she HATES to support us. I am college educated, had a solid work history up until last year and I cannot find work. I try to get out and do things but I find myself sitting at home more and more doing nothing all day....thinking I am a lost cause and will never find work....wondering why I even bother hanging around anymore...