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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Okay for guys and girls alike, what are the age limits that you set for yourself? (What is the oldest or youngest you'd date and how old are you) And why, what is the emphasis on age?
The reason that I am asking this is cuz recently I started to hang out with, and have some interest in someone who is quite a bit older than me. He is also interested but everyone that I talk to is saying that it is wrong and disgusting because he is that much older than me. On top of everything else he is divorced with 3 absolutely adorable little boys. I'm only 19 and he's 30, I thought you girls might be able to help me through this. I think that I am overthinking this whole thing but I dunno. :confused:
 

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sorry, not a lady, but whatever... i think age is relatively annoying, in that it seperates us into classes based off of a number that means very little a lot of the time. there are a lot of people that are 25, and act 18, and vice versa, i find that if two people can hang out, and if without ever knowing the other person age for sure, wouldnt guess that they were way older or way younger, then it's usually fine. however, with the kids thing, i was just thinking about that earlier today, not that this is something that is going to last forever, but it may, since he is 30, and much more likely to want to settle down again then another 19 year old, how wierd would it be when the kids grow up and are only like 10 or 12 years younger than their step mom. i dont know, just my 2 cents.
 

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Me: 24
Oldest I would date: 32
Youngest I would date: 22 younger than that, and they really show their age.


I think most people have a relationship of some sort with someone significantly older than them at some point. When I was 17, he was 30. We didn't take it very far, mostly due to life factors, but he and I got along wonderfully.

I think the biggest issues is that with too much of an age gap, the elders aren't challenged enough (or stimulated by younger banter) and the younger is somewhat lacking when it comes to many of his other friends (and bored by life issues or desire to "slow down"). We youngers just dont have the experience or the "life base" to really get serious.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Hmm, I just don't know, his oldest son is 7 and a half, his youngest son is 2 and his ex sounds really crazy... But at the same time the way that he describes her personality (cept for the psycho parts) her and I sound a lot alike. Which is actually more settled than him for the most part, he is like a big kid himself. But he has the majority of the custody of the kids anyways
 

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shortyali0369 said:
Okay for guys and girls alike, what are the age limits that you set for yourself?
Ok, here is my very humble opinion. I think the whole age thing is like so overated that we micro analize it to death. If you are attracted to someone, no matter what the appeal is, it takes us there for a reason. It fullfills something in us that needs or covets that desire or feeling. It can also be an fate for some. Like a moth to a flame or a ship to a beacon.
I am and have been in a relationship for a long time with someone that is 17 years younger than I am, and I have stopped thinking about it at all. It works for us and everyone is happy and robust!

:D

April to December relationships ROCK!
 

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The youngest I would date NOW at my decreped age would be 26, and older.... I don't know. Never thought about it.

Age to me is a HUGE thing. The fact that I'm old and feel old and worn out. Also, I get over looked by guys once they know my age. But that's beside the point.

If your comfortable with this guy, then date him! It's not sick that your 19 and he's 30.. SO WHAT?! if you two like eachother, then go for it. Just one word of caution, make sure that he's not looking for a "Mommy" for his kids. Alot of guys pull that shit. Have had it happen to me to many times. That's one reason I don't date men with kids. EVER!

Don't analyze it, just do it! Have fun!

oh and for SPEEDMOM! YOU GO GIRL!!! **grumbles i hate you**** :angry hahahah!!
 

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if it feels right then dont worry about it. Myself personally Im only 22 and would only date someone a year younger then I and the oldest would be 30.......if your comfortable with him and his lifstyle as in his kids and ex then go for it..
 

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Ali-I have to agree with Speedmom-which btw-you ROCK! :twofinger
Age is just a number for the most part. If you are happy and have a chemistry that is all that matters. The more opinions you ask, the b***** the questions become. If it is special then enjoy it for what it is. It will take you where it needs to go. It's the same for any relationship-regardless of age.
just my .02!
 

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Its only a number if you 2 are fine with it and its legal I'd say go for it. I myself have only dated girls younger than me. The youngest was 3yrs younger than me.
 

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My ex-husband was 8 years older than I. He had 2 kids when we met - I'm halfway between the oldest & my ex. The age never really bothered anyone. The kids liked it because they felt they could talk to me about anything, like I was somewhat a peer that also punished them.

now I've gone the other direction. My SO is 7.5 years younger than I am. I love him to death, and although at times he's immature (aren't we all?), the difference never gets in the way or bothers either one of us...

Do what you want. The hell with the nay-sayers. If you're happy, he's happy, who cares? Age is a number - it's the person inside the aged shell that really matters.
 

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I am 23 and my bf is 33. We started dating when I was 20. I didn't know he was 10.5 yrs older than me until we had been seeing each other for a few months. By that time I didn't care how old he was. We got along great from the start. We both respected each others other "hobbies" which is why I think we get along so well. He may not be into something I like but he has never stopped me from doing it instead he encourages me. I do the same with him. I'm definitely not into some of his hobbies and I have no issues w/him spending time doing them.

Basically what I'm saying is if you get along and have a great relationship you won't ever think about the age difference. Age means nothing when two people are highly compatible and lead a great and fulfilling life.
 

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I'm 19, the oldest I will date is 23(or 5 years older than me), and my bf is 21. I think the 5 years kinda keeps interests and the ability to relate to each other the same. I won't date younger than me, it just seems weird... Alot of people think age means nothing, but I honestly coudln't see myself with a grown 40 y/o man, I still have a lot of growing up to do :D!!
 

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SicFLgirlR6 said:
I'm 19, the oldest I will date is 23(or 5 years older than me), and my bf is 21. I think the 5 years kinda keeps interests and the ability to relate to each other the same. I won't date younger than me, it just seems weird... Alot of people think age means nothing, but I honestly coudln't see myself with a grown 40 y/o man, I still have a lot of growing up to do :D!!
I agree with what she said.....OOh, BTW this is SexNStillettos here...using an alias....anyway, the biggest age difference was a VERY HOT guy who was 28 and I was 22 (he's on the boards so I shall be flattering)....I like to stay in a closer age range so that we have a lot of similiar interests...

I don't really think I would go younger, but there is a killer hot intern at work I would like to take and shag the shit out of.....he's only 21..hehehe...I am currently 23 going on 18.

<3 Cj
 

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don't let anyone decide for you!! if it feels ok go for it. if you have doubts it probably isn't gonna work. maturity is what i look for. haven't had much luck in finding it.
 

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age is only a number. i am 21 and my fiance is 31 so hows that for an age difference. we have been together happily for 2 years now.

and as far as keeping interests together, myself and literleaner do absolutely everything together and we are by no means close in age so it depends on the person
 

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How is it wrong and disgusting???? Whoever u are talking to needs their head examined...Sorry! But age is only a number....if u are happy and interested then go for it.... What matters and ONLY matters is what you want!!!
 

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Even though it's just a number it's something I look at. What would I have in common with some 20 year old still in college. I am 33..I look for a man who is already established..plus he's more in the time of playing the field..I am not.

Conversely, someone 45 or 46 may be done having a family and not be interested in that...well I am so that wouldn't work.

For the most part, people are at certain stages in their lives at certain ages more than not. It's rare to find some 21 year old that is mature and has everything together..period!!

My age range is about 29 to 40. That's what I found through dating where I have the most in common with guys in that age range. Although I won't rule out someone 27 or someone 42 for example just by age...if we get along and have common ground and have some of the same goals then so be it..but again I just generally find the range for me with more compatible people...JMO :)
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I am very very close with my parents, they are truly (as gay and retarded as this sounds) my best friends, they know more about me than anyone else that I know. I have talked about this with them, they think that guys who are older and go after girls who are a lot younger tend to be very controlling. I understand that, but that doesn't seem to be this guys personality at all. Most of my friends are closer to his age than mine. I am one of those rare "young people" who have everything together and the maturity to match, because since I was young I was forced to grow up right away due to my immature older brother (long story). I am not looking for marriage or anything that serious as of yet, and it is seeming that neither does he. As for the whole family situation, I can't have kids and want them; whereas he doesn't want anymore and he has the majority of the custody. So if things were to work out we wouldn't have any problems in that area. I think I'm just going to go for it but keep things casual... but knowing me I'll change my mind by tomorrow
 

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Yeah my parents are my best friends also, they know every little detail of my life, probably more than they want to know :D. But I'm an honest kid and through telling them everything and building trust with them they give me a lot of slack as far as going out with friends, staying out late, and letting my bf and guy friends stay on the weekends or during Bike Week and Biketoberfest. The guy may not be controlling yet b/c you are not bf and gf yet, but when you do get together if you sense one ounce of possesiveness than "get the hell out of Dodge".
 
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