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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm 18 headed off to college this fall. I've had 3 girlfriends in the last year. My second girlfriend I really fell for. I always liked talking to her and always had so much fun hanging out with her. We had much as much fun as you can have with clothes on. It lasted 5 months which isn't long but I still miss her and think about her often. I guess the problem I have is I can't stop thinking about her. Anytime something sexual comes up, like a movie scene, tv, magazine ad, I can't help but think about her. I also see other couples holding hands or whatever and I can't help but think of her. She made it pretty clear to her friends when we broke up, we weren't ever getting back together. We're still friends currently which is bad for me. So I'm kind of stuck. On one hand I want to get out and just go bang some chick. Any chick. Just in hopes that it will ease my mind because I will have experienced sex instead of imagining it in my mind of how I wish it would have been with that 2nd gf. But on the other hand, I don't think meaningless sex would "satisfy" me because that's just it. It's meaningless. It wouldn't have the passion that I want. I have a girlfriend now but it was mistake. I went on a few dates, toyed with asking her to be in a relationship, finally did and here we are.. She is a strong catholic girl and would never have sex before marriage. So I'm not going to get anywhere with her. I'm not exactly happy in this relationship either. She's a great girl, it's just not like my last one. I don't have the same feelings for her. I plan on breaking up with her soon but after that, what should I do?
 

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First things first, break up with the current gf ASAP. It isn't fair to either one of you to be in a relationship like this. Second, why are you still friends with your ex-gf? Are you hoping that something will happen and she will take you back? If it is "bad" for you to be friends with her then stop being friends with her. Finally, take some time to enjoy life and get over your ex-gf. No clue how long it will take, could be 6 months or could be 5 years. Either way make sure you are completely over her and know 100% what you want in a relationship and a gf. Then you can go looking for a gf.
 

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As has already been stated, you need to end it with the current gf if it's obvious it's not what you want.
I personally do not believe in "The One". There are 6 BILLION people on this planet. If there were truly only one perfect match for each of us, what are the odds they would be anywhere near us?
At your age, emotions are incredibly strong. Everything is all or nothing. The first good relationship will have such a massive effect on you, nothing else will seem to ever be as good as that one. This is false.
Look at it this way. If you were in a relationship right now and she was killed in a car crash you would be devastated. Your life would seem to be over. However, in time you would move on. You would meet someone else and you would probably fall in love just as strongly as you did before. It would not be the same as it was with the other but, that doesn't mean it's less. It's only different.
I know it's hard if not seemingly impossible to do what everyone says and just forget about her and move on but, it's what you have to do.
I'll give you MY story and maybe it will help.
When I was 18, I met a girl that was absolutely everything I ever wanted in a girl. I loved everything about her. We dated for a short while and then I got the "friend" speech. No problem. I can wait. I waited for her for years. Now here's where I was smart. Even though I loved her madly, I never let that interfere with my chances with someone else. If I saw someone I liked, I went for it. If it worked out, great. If not, I still had fun. I eventually got married to a girl I loved just as much as the first girl. Unfortunately, it didn't last.
Fast forward to today. I am married again to a wonderful woman. I am still friends with the first girl. We are closer than anyone I know and in a special way. We both have realized if we HAD stayed together, we would no longer be friends. Despite all the perfect parts of our relationship, there were tiny little things that would have led to us hating each other. The way things went, we were able to remain friends and still have good relationships with others.
If something were to happen to our spouses, it's possible we would get together again but, it could only happen now. We needed time to be where we are now. If nothing changes then we still each have a very special friend that we didn't lose due to the emotions of youth.
So, to round this out, you can't change how you feel BUT, you can change how you act! Love her. But, don't let that stop you from loving others. Think about all the people you truly love in your life. Love is not limited to only one. Don't be afraid to let others in and share your love. The beauty of love is even if someone takes love from you, you still have as much left as before.
Good luck and keep us posted on how things go for you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
There are a few reasons we're still friends. The first is that we have so many common friends, its impossible for me to do things and not run into her. The second is kind of what you're^^ getting at. The third is I still want her in my life. And the fourth is yes, I'm hoping something will happen and she will want me back. So I guess all this is normal and I don't really have anything to worry about.. Thanks guys. I'll keep you updated
 

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Leykis 101 archives...

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Problem with Leykis, is most people have no idea who he is because he's been off the air for so long and he was only in 3 or 4 states to begin with when he went off the air.

You have to move on. Eventually you're going to find someone that gives you exactly what that one girl gave you, and then some, and then you'll finally forget her. Besides, you're 18 and getting ready to go to college. Dude, there's going to be plenty of college pussy. Get out and get some.
 

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Im from another generation...I couldnt bare reading all of his post but you're right. The sad thing is that he will never get the respect from women now that hes off the air.
 

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So I guess all this is normal and I don't really have anything to worry about..
Yup! The one thing that is so hard to get through to nearly all teenagers (and several adults) is no matter what you're going through, somebody else has been there before you. You are not the first. You won't be the last. It's all been done.
 

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If it is meant to be, both of you will still be single when school is over and you start your careers
 

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I've been to Covington, stayed at the Embassy Suites - nice little town. Not like Cincinatti, which is a third-world country after sundown.

mangosmoothie16 said:
We're still friends currently which is bad for me.
Correct. The first thing after a breakup you should do is delete her from your life. Clean up Faceboook (delete tagged pics together, albums, any posts between you and unfriend her). Get drunk one night if you need to do that in order to delete her. Wipe her from your phone (any texts, emails, and delete her number).

The rule is absolutely no contact. If she tries to contract you, simply ignore her. This drives girls crazy.

Time really does heal old wounds. I never thought I would forget my ex's number... but I did after a few months of no contact.

mangosmoothie16 said:
I don't think meaningless sex would "satisfy" me because that's just it. It's meaningless. It wouldn't have the passion that I want.
That's smart. You do want your first time to be with someone for whom you have feelings, not some one-night stand. However, if by the end of your freshman year you don't lose it, bite the bullet and make that drunk slut happy.

mangosmoothie16 said:
She is a strong catholic girl and would never have sex before marriage.
She may but it'll take you more than a year to break that in; not worth it for a chick you don't have strong feelings for.

mangosmoothie16 said:
I plan on breaking up with her soon but after that, what should I do?
Look for more chicks and DON'T TALK TO OR FB STALK YOUR EX.

Turbo Ghost said:
I got the "friend" speech. No problem. I can wait. I waited for her for years. Now here's where I was smart. Even though I loved her madly, I never let that interfere with my chances with someone else.
Don't listen to this goober. The best way to get over someone is to pretend they don't exist. Eventually they leave your mind.

mangosmoothie16 said:
I'm hoping something will happen and she will want me back.
Nothing's going to happen, she broke up with you because she doesn't like you like that anymore. If she isn't already, she will be banging someone else soon. As for the mutual friends, expand your circle.
 

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good luck buddy. If you had the will power i'd say keep them all in your life while you are looking for others. You will most likely upgrade.

I like to keep my ex's around , bc at some point we thought each other were cool
 

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I think most heteros have a hard time being around exs without the hump urge, especially men.
If they were in an emotional relationship the same except replace hump with strangle (non sexually)
 

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depends entirely upon how close you were beforehand, how nasty the breakup was, and what the current circumstances are.
 
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