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Politics & ReligionWell Since every damn forum has one. Might as well leave it out there. This place is loosely moderated and should not be entered if you're weak of heart.
It has come to my attention that my pets may have been misbehaving.
The problem is: I can't read. I'm functionally illiterate. I have to have my parrot read all your posts to me, and I dictate my responses to the cat, who dutifully types them up even though it makes her widdle paws sore. Sometimes we skip the middleman and they just take care of it, so I can go look at the pictures in Richard Scarry's Big Book of Politics, which is where I get all my information. There's a great cutaway drawing of the Electoral College on page 4.
I think maybe they've been doing that a lot lately, though. I see a lot more posts with my name on them (I can read that much!) than I remember dictating. I hardly ever spend any time here myself; it's all so awfully confusing. Of course, like any sensible person, I'm a Christian Social Democrat with strong Marxist influences. My cat, of course, is a libertarian; they pretty much all are -- selfish little creatures who would cheerfully suck the soul out of your baby if they thought it would increase their share of the milk. She solemnly assures me that she faithfully transmits my occasional screed in support of Bob Avakian and the American Communist Worker's Party, but sometimes I wonder. Whenever the parrot reads me one of Jim Schmidt's posts, for instance, I just tell the cat to type "+1", but it always looks longer than that when she's done.
So anyway, I apologize if they've upset anyone.
PhilB
__________________
'93 Ducati Monster 900
158,000 miles (so far)
Once the perfidy and betrayal of parrot and cat was discovered, of course it was off the the Gulag ... I mean animal shelter ... for them. Then I had to find trustworthy socialist animal to do my reading and typing. It turns out that bees, despite the name, don't spell very well, so I had to convert the guest room into a habitat for an entire colony of naked mole rats. Marxism is natural for them. It's all fine now.
So, Bob Avakian has this great plan ...
PhilB
__________________
'93 Ducati Monster 900
158,000 miles (so far)
Disparaging my kin folk will not result in our acceptance of your apology for the misbehavior of your household socialist associates
No no no; it wasn't the household socialist associates who misbehaved, it was the terminally selfish libertarian companion animals.
Regardless, I was in no way disparaging the bees, it's just that not all bees are spelling bees. I also tried to hire Tori Spelling, but despite her proper liberal stances and her name, it turns out she can't spell either. "Correct" grammar and spelling are elitist concpets anyway, and will be discarded when the proletariat takes over. Rest assured we consider you bees to be our brothers in arms/arms/arms/antennae.
PhilB
__________________
'93 Ducati Monster 900
158,000 miles (so far)