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Politics & ReligionWell Since every damn forum has one. Might as well leave it out there. This place is loosely moderated and should not be entered if you're weak of heart.
here is the article that started it all, funny stuff.
A modest proposal for celebs on the skids
Peter Hartlaub, Chronicle Pop Culture Critic
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Getting everyone's attention in Hollywood used to be so much easier.
Poor Britney Spears was hauled away from her home in an ambulance last week, and the event got third billing on the "Today" show - following the Iowa caucus results and the storms in California. You know it's time to fire your publicist when your latest epic meltdown has to chase a few downed power lines in Millbrae.
Maybe she should have had a few drinks at Chateau Marmont with Sudan's President Omar al-Bashir instead. Or spent the afternoon IM-ing Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. With so many celebrities making asses of themselves these days, D-list actors and has-been pop stars need to get more resourceful. And what could be more controversial than hanging out with the world's most notorious dictators and other authoritarian figures?
As ridiculous as the idea sounds, it's already coming into style.
Naomi Campbell had a flirty interview with Venezuela President Hugo Chavez for a British GQ article that comes out today. At one point the controversial leader and potential ruler-for-life asked her to "touch my muscles." Danny Glover is friends with Chavez, who is reportedly funding two of the San Francisco actor's forthcoming films. Others who have made recent Chavez-related headlines include Oliver Stone, Sean Penn and Barbara Walters, who placed Chavez on her list of the most fascinating people of 2007.
And as authoritarian figures go, Chavez isn't exactly in the Stalin-Mussolini stratosphere (if the world's most iron-fisted rulers were ghostbusters, Chavez would be Ernie Hudson), and yet news of Campbell's meeting with Chavez was reported in the Chicago Tribune, the London Times and scores of other high-profile sources. So just imagine how much press a wannabe starlet or filmmaker in need of a hit could get by playing dominoes with someone who has a secret nuclear program, or who recently outlawed the free press.
Even someone like Lee Majors could get his name back on "Entertainment Tonight" - and probably Al-Jazeera - with a well-timed spa weekend with Libya's Moammar Khadafy. Think a centerfold in Playboy or a fling with that guy who owns "Girls Gone Wild" is going to make your folks angry? Kim Kardashian should try spending a romantic weekend with Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe. Bonus points for befriending a dictator who wears military fatigues to work. Extra bonus points if he has called George Bush "a donkey" in the past year.
There are a few potential stumbling blocks for celebrities who hang out with despots. Generally, dictators have control of the press and/or have killed all the journalists, making it much harder for the paparazzi to get pictures of you frolicking together on the beach in your bathing suits. And there's always the risk that the dictator has seen your body of work. Even Kim Jong-Il wouldn't let Cuba Gooding Jr. off the plane after "Daddy Day Camp."
Here are a few potential celeb-dictator matchups we can imagine:
Russia President Vladimir Putin and Dolph Lundgren: More than any other leader in history, Putin has the stare and demeanor of a James Bond villain. But when you see him talk, he seems to be channeling Ivan Drago ("If he dies, he dies") from "Rocky IV," so you know he's got to be a big Dolph Lundgren fan. Lundgren, who is actually Swedish, could use the exposure to finally get "Red Scorpion II" green-lighted. And does anyone doubt that Putin has the words "I must break you" tattooed somewhere on his lower back?
North Korea leader Kim Jong-Il and Timothy Dalton: The former Axis of Evil member is a notorious lover of old movies, so there are a lot of good matches for him. He's a big Elizabeth Taylor fan (do we hear wedding bells?) and reportedly likes action movies. The most logical fit for Kim Jong-Il would be Timothy Dalton. The dictator is a big James Bond fan, and Dalton has co-starred in the Fran Drescher movie "Beautician and the Beast" and "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" - two films that Kim no doubt has committed to memory.
Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko and John Cougar Mellencamp: Now that Mellencamp has allowed Chevrolet to use his song "Our Country" as the centerpiece of the advertising campaign for the Silverado truck, hanging out with the deranged-sounding Lukashenko doesn't seem desperate at all. Associating with foreign tyrants might alienate Mellencamp's Middle America fan base, but Lukashenko's extensive background in collective farming and Mellencamp's role in founding Farm Aid will give the pair plenty to talk about. "Rain on the Scarecrow" would make a good national anthem for a totalitarian country.
Sudan President Omar al-Bashir and Pamela Anderson: The problem with Pamela Anderson is that she started out by marrying Tommy Lee - and how's a girl supposed to attract attention after that? Kid Rock looked like Ward Cleaver by comparison, and Anderson's third marriage, to Paris Hilton sex-tape partner Rick Salomon, in October barely made headlines. If she wants anyone to pay attention to marriage No. 4, she has no choice but to marry Sudan's President Omar al-Bashir, who topped a recent Parade magazine list as the world's worst dictator. Either that or get another breast reduction.
All that's left to do now is play matchmaker. Accompanying this article are some of the people named in Parade's World's Worst Dictators list and the celebrities who (should) love them. Add your own selections to the comments section in the Culture Blog at sfgate.com/blogs/culture.
Here are some other strongmen to choose from: Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah; Iran Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Ali KhamEnei; China paramount leader Hu Jintao; Burma head of state Than Shwe.
And this from the NY Times ..
SAN FRANCISCO — A letter to the editor in The San Francisco Chronicle last Monday attacked the “increasingly lame-brain paper” and said parts of it resembled Mad Magazine. It was signed: SEAN PENN, Former SF Chronicle contributing reporter.
Yes, that Sean Penn.
Several years ago, Phil Bronstein, The Chronicle’s editor, assigned Mr. Penn to report on his brief visits to Iran and Iraq. Mr. Penn’s writing had not appeared in the paper again, until now.
His letter was in response to a recent satirical article, “A Modest Proposal for Celebs on the Skids,” which suggested that stars in decline associate with “notorious dictators and other authoritarian figures,” like Hugo Chávez, president of Venezuela.
Mr. Penn said that Mr. Chávez, with whom he recently spent time, “was democratically elected and that dictators don’t lose constitutional referendums,” as Mr. Chávez did, adding that he was visiting Venezuela as a journalist. Then he got personal, calling readers and editors “small-minded cowards and former writers of substance,” adding, “Who could that be, Phil?”
Mr. Penn’s 2004 and 2005 pieces were some of the most widely read on the Chronicle’s Web site but they also “caused a spasm of eye rolling in the newsroom,” said a Chronicle science writer, Carl Hall.
Through his publicist, Mr. Penn declined to comment. Mr. Bronstein said he had no reservations about printing the letter or regrets about starting Mr. Penn’s career in letters.
“You know, anybody who wants to do journalism can try,” Mr. Bronstein said. “Whether they are a journalist or not is a judgment other people have to make.”
Sean Penn is a crybaby
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