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Politics & Religion Well Since every damn forum has one. Might as well leave it out there. This place is loosely moderated and should not be entered if you're weak of heart.

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Old 02-08-2006, 04:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Is this PC enough??

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"

"That was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to town and snatch another Democrat?"
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Old 02-08-2006, 04:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Good one.
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Old 02-08-2006, 04:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 02-08-2006, 04:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Lmao
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Old 02-08-2006, 05:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 02-08-2006, 05:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 02-08-2006, 07:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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nice
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Old 02-08-2006, 08:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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freaking hilarious
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Old 02-08-2006, 08:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 02-08-2006, 10:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default how about this

Johnny hears about a new barber shop, but it has a robot to cut hair. He decides to go watch one day and maybe give it a try. When he gets there, he sees a place to put money and a keypad labeled IQ. He wants to see the robot in action before he tries it.
After a little while, a guy walks in, puts 10 dollars in the money slot, and types 180 on the key pad. The robot comes out and starts discussing quantum physics with the guy while giving him a great haircut.
Johnny is intrigued, but wants to see more.
Later another guy comes in and puts his money in the slot. He types 132 on the keypad. The robot comes out and starts discussing current events with him while giving him a great haircut.
Johnny is impressed but wants to see one more person.
Later another guy comes on and puts his money in the slot. He types 63 on the IQ pad. The robot comes out, and as it begins the haircut, it asks, "So, what were you democrats thinking nominating John Kerry?"
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Old 02-09-2006, 10:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 02-09-2006, 12:40 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bumblebee
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"

"That was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to town and snatch another Democrat?"
Talk about "bleeding-heart" liberals, eh?
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:35 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I was ready to rip up some PC nonsense... but that's fuckin awesome.

As for the joke with robots - that offends me. Robots should NEVER be used in jokes. EVER. RIOT!
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:16 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Yes, but did the Pope poop in the woods?
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
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