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OMG. I saw this on another forum, posted from yet another forum, and laughed my ass off.
I just had to share:
Quote:
Over the past 6 months, I have been playing a fun game with my credit card company. The game finally backfired on me today and led me through the most hilarious moment of my life. Most people would have been embarrassed, but me, I'm a little twisted, so I laughed all the way through it like an asshole.
With any story, there is a setup process. Here is the setup to this story. About 6 months ago, I was making a purchase with my credit card and when I went to sign the electronic signature machine, it was broken. By broken, I mean that when I touched the pen to the machine, it went crazy and didn't look anything like my signature. It looked like a drunk 4 year old signed my name for me. It accepted the signature without any problems. So this really made me wonder what I could do to give my credit card company something to laugh about. I mean, they obviously don't review the signatures since they never called me or declined a purchase. For fucks sake, it could have been a stolen card.
I started out modest by signing with a line or an "X". Occasionally I would do last name first. After a couple of months, I became bolder. I wrote goofy poop, drew pictures, etc. Here's a list of some of my favorite signatures over the past few months:
I AM NOT ZEB
I STOLE THIS
FUCK OFF
FUCK YOU
WALMART SUCKS
CALL ME
CROTCHY CROTCHINGTON
MY BALLS ITCH
911
I'M A CRIMINAL
THANKS FOR THE STUFF
Today I went the extra mile. When it came time to sign my name, a thought popped in my head. I should draw a picture. But what picture should I draw? I smirked as something completely juvenile came to me. This is a rough drawing of the signature that I provided:
Yes, I know, it's not my best artwork, but I didn't have the time to be elaborate with the drawing. I had to look like I was providing a signature. Right after I hit "OK", there was a pause. The register then said "COMPARE SIGNATURE ON SLIP TO CARD." One thought popped in my head: "OH FUCK!" It then printed the receipt and there in black and white was my poopy drawing of cock and balls. The lady at the register didn't immediately look at it. She asked for the card. I handed her the card and she flipped it over. Then she brought up the receipt and she smirked, but then took a stern tone and said "These signatures don't match."
At this point I was in tears from trying to hold back my laughter. I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but it didn't matter. I probably didn't make sense as I laughed hysterically through the explanation. She then paged the manager and I erupted in laughter. The guy behind me in line got a glimpse of my signature on the receipt and began laughing. The manager comes up and the woman from the register begins whispering to him. I then hear a few words "he drew a penis..." as she holds up the receipt. The manager blurts out a short laugh and then controls it. He turns to me and I'm out of breath from laughing and I'm still giggling like a schoolgirl.
Manager: Sir, your signature...heh...umm...doesn't match the signature on your card.
Zeb: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
**The guy behind me bursts into laughter.**
Zeb: Yeah, I didn't think this would happen. I've been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it.
Manager: I guess you learned your lesson.
Zeb: Yeah, the credit card doesn't accept penis.
**The guy behind me now can't stop laughing.**
Manager: OK, I'm going to decline the signature and have you sign it again.
Zeb: Fair enough.
Manager: This time, really sign it.
So I had to sign it again and they wouldn't let me keep my artwork. Those bastards. I had singlehandedly broken up the monotony of their daily routine and given them something that they will be talking about for years to come and they wouldn't let me keep it. They will tell their grandchildren about the guy that drew cock and balls as his credit card signature.
So I have a plan now. I'm going to get a new credit card and sign the back with my cock and balls drawing. Then I will consistently use that as the signature. That way, if I ever get caught in the same situation, the signatures will match. That will really fuck with them.
oh man that had me in tears lol. I hope he really does get a new card and signs the back with a penis drawing lol.
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Get tha Nannys!
some people have feelings that get hurt easily. I simply say it may be a case of sandivaginitis.....go to the doctor. It sounds like sound paper when you walk.
That was pretty funny...yeah those never look like your signature anyways. I pretty much do a line, I could probably call the credit card company and dispute the charge and win based that it is not my signature. Has anyone done that before???
Time to go buy that 52" LCD Samsung for $2,499, and sign an X then dispute and say, nope not me....LOL
That was pretty funny...yeah those never look like your signature anyways. I pretty much do a line, I could probably call the credit card company and dispute the charge and win based that it is not my signature. Has anyone done that before???
Time to go buy that 52" LCD Samsung for $2,499, and sign an X then dispute and say, nope not me....LOL
in store video cameras usually discourage such activities
Preapare for a few people to tell you this is a repost.
But it's so funny it's probably worth it.
Yup, was posted just the other day...but it's hilarious, and I am too lazy to go back to look for it again...so good job posting it again!!!!
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That was too good!!!
For me, I never sign the back of my cards. If I should drop or forget one, duh...the person that finds it now has my signature. One time I when I used it, the cashier turns it over to see my signature and puts it down and asks me to sign it. I declined and explained why. She then calls a manager over and explains what had transpired. He looks at my card and says it's their policy that it must be signed or they can not accept it. I again explained to him why I don't and said "you know, never mind I'll go elsewhere to make my purchaces if they didn't want my money". He said to the cashier "have him sign this" and pulled some blank register tape out of the register. I signed it knowing it didn't prove a damn thing but to him, he was saving face. He then thanked me for my business and I said "neither of you even asked to see my driver's license, your comparing two signatures that I just wrote" and walked off. The more I thought about it, it really pissed me off. While that happened many years ago (when the card swipe was done by the cashier on the register) I still do not sign my cards, but now days the cashier doesn't even touch your card. You swipe it, you sign it and leave. Very rarely have I been asked for a D.L. to verify. When they do, I thank them for checking.
in store video cameras usually discourage such activities
Not sure how that would do much, a store never keeps tapes going back. So say after you get your credit card statement in 30 days, then make a dispute which probably takes a few weeks for someone to look at it. I doubt as proof the store will be able or willing to provide a video for proof.
When doing a charge back what happens it you put in the dispute then your credit card company will send a notice to the merchant that a customer is disputing such and such charge. The business can now provide proof, which would typically be a signature or they simply take no action as it requires them to take time (most times they will do nothing, more hassle then it is worth for them). However when the credit company gets say the receipt with signature they then provide you with the new information at which time you have the right to dispute. So if you say well that looks nothing like my signature the credit company will then make a decision and most likely side with you the card holder (they may make you provide a signature).
A good friend had this happen, where at a restaurant he left $10 for a tip. The waitress wrote in another zero and they charged the card that amount. He did a charge back when he got his statement and the restaurant actually provided the receipt although you could tell it the zero was left in afterwards and in no way would someone leave $100 for the amount of the meal, plus my friend had the copy which showed, not to mention it also did not add up on the TOTAL line. Int he end the credit card company refunded the TOTAL amount and the restaurant lost the whole thing. I'm sure that waitress was fired.
I actually saw this a few days ago in the other thread too ...
Since then, Capital One has re-issued me my card, someone from Oregon was ordering porn with it ...
I got the sucker in the mail and there's the blank signature block on the back just screaming my name!
I sooooo wanted to do it; but I just couldn't ... I signed my name, wrote SEE ID next to it, and put the new card in my wallet.
I was probably about three beers away from actually going through with the "cock-n-ball" signature ... should've waited to open my mail until later than night ... ohh well..
A lot of places don't even make you sign anymore unless it is a purchase over a certain amount like $20 or $50. Like that shit makes a difference.
The business is pretty much saying they are willing to take the risk of the customer doing a charge back to speed up the line. You could easily charge back those amounts, although more then once it would look damn odd to the credit card company.
My father in-law uses charge backs a lot. Last story I heard was the washer and dryer he bought at Home Depot. They broke int he first week, they sent a repair guy out who said they are junk nowadays from those stores and he should of bought them at an appliance store as the quality is different. So my father in-law called the store and said he is returning the washer & dryer, they told him DO NOT RETURN. He loaded them up and dropped them off at the front door of Home Depot and called his credit card company and did a charge back...they sided with him as the store has a 30 day return policy and does not say anything about not being able to return them. LOL
I was probably about three beers away from actually going through with the "cock-n-ball" signature ... should've waited to open my mail until later than night ... ohh well..
Credit Card Games
oh shit.. I can't stop laughing
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