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Old 10-18-2008, 02:24 PM   3 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1 (permalink)
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Default Military LoL's

Skippy’s List » Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

some highlights:
Quote:
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.

100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.

184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.

213. Do not convince NCO’s that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

And my favorite- 87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
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Old 10-18-2008, 03:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Strange to see that somebody else had the same problems.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.

139. Must not teach interpreters how to make “MRE” bombs.

144. “K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free” is not an authorized uniform.

184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.
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Old 10-18-2008, 08:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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what exactly is an MRE bomb?
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Old 10-18-2008, 09:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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what exactly is an MRE bomb?
Don't tell him he's an interpreter!
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Old 10-18-2008, 09:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BertMcGert View Post
what exactly is an MRE bomb?
An MRE bomb is usually what happens to your colon after you eat one. I still have nightmares about those damn things
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Originally Posted by Ranast View Post
I have been on liter sport bikes, big torque cruisers...but nothing compares to the thrust these damn things hit you with. It will put a huge shit eating grin on your face. If you are going to grab the throttle, just make sure you have a whole lot of empty road ahead of you...feels like God placed his boot on the tail end of the bike and shoved you forward - really, really hard!
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I'd say 99% of the preride inspection should be about your skills from somebody who isn't stupid enough to get you killed. But if you really wanna check the chain tension before you go catapulting into a phone pole, have at it.
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Old 10-18-2008, 10:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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it involves an MRE heater core, a little water ... and if you're feeling particularly douchey, a few drops of tabasco sauce from the "amenities" package in your MRE
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Old 10-18-2008, 10:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by novcadetshotz View Post
it involves an MRE heater core, a little water ... and if you're feeling particularly douchey, a few drops of tabasco sauce from the "amenities" package in your MRE
Those were always fun.
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Old 10-18-2008, 11:25 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Those were always fun.
Some of my victims would beg to differ. Especially those locked in the back of a tool truck or expando-van.

MRE BOMB
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Old 10-19-2008, 12:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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those are great!
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Old 10-19-2008, 01:48 AM   #10 (permalink)
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The head was always my favorite target ... nothing beats hearing the whimpering of a buddy who can't decide if he's gonna sit there and take it, or run out with his pants around his ankles.... that is .. until he gets you back!

... ahh memories ...




Shaving cream grenades the night before a JOB were fun too.... FIRE IN THE HOLE! If I say barbasol, push-pins, and duct-tape, does anyone else know what I'm talking about?
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