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Open ForumsThe Open forum was created for people to discuss anything else Non-Moto related. Just about anything goes! Please remember this is a loosely moderated area. If you do not have thick skin. We suggest you stay out of here.
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?
To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?' I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what?............
A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.' 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'
Traffic Ticket $125.00
Court Costs $100.00
Look on the Cop's Face.......PRICELESS
Posts: 2,222
Casino Cash: $34396
Sportbike: s...are for squids
Old Clem is flying down the road in his pick-up, doing at least 30 over. Local Deputy pulls him over, and since he's in an older farm pick-up asks him<
"Damn old man, don't you got a governor on that thing?"
Old Clem is flying down the road in his pick-up, doing at least 30 over. Local Deputy pulls him over, and since he's in an older farm pick-up asks him<
"Damn old man, don't you got a governor on that thing?"
"Whats that?" Clem says.
"I said, don't you have a governor on that thing"
"Sorry come again" replies Clem
"A GOVERNOR....DON'T YOU HAVE A DAMN GOVERNOR"
To which Clem replies.
"No, thats just some manure in the back there"
Wa Wa Wa Waaaaaaaaa.
uhhh, i dont get it. are we talkin about cops or Schwartzenegger?
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disclaimer: anything i say can be wrong. anything i say in the above post cannot and will not be used against me. all comments void after 24 hours. under some circumstances i may be lying. under other circumstances, comments may be full of shit. use your best judgement. i am not at fault for any harm or death caused to you or your loved ones.
__________________
disclaimer: anything i say can be wrong. anything i say in the above post cannot and will not be used against me. all comments void after 24 hours. under some circumstances i may be lying. under other circumstances, comments may be full of shit. use your best judgement. i am not at fault for any harm or death caused to you or your loved ones.
no thanks. im in love with mary jane.....i'll kill her before i let her go.
__________________
disclaimer: anything i say can be wrong. anything i say in the above post cannot and will not be used against me. all comments void after 24 hours. under some circumstances i may be lying. under other circumstances, comments may be full of shit. use your best judgement. i am not at fault for any harm or death caused to you or your loved ones.
Posts: 228
Casino Cash: $3520
Sportbike: '06 Honda 1000 RR...also now have a 2005 Suzuki GSXR600..20th anniversary ed.
little johnny was riding his bicycle in the street when he was stopped by a horse mounted patrol officer..
officer says...where'd you get the bike johnny?
johnny says..santa brought it
officer says..tell santa to you need a bike with a reflecter or else i will have to give you a ticket....
johnny says ..where'd you get the horse?
officer being a smartass says..santa brought it
johnny says..tell santa you need a horse with a dick on the bottom not on the top....
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the only perfect person was crucified....the rest of us all have problems...
After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn't know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"
The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they are. I've never heard of circle flies."
The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle flies are common on farms. They're called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse."
The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says," Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?"
"Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that."
"That's a good thing," the officer says rudely, then goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer added, "Hard to fool them flies, though."
Cop Jokes
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