lets hear your best joke!!!

TYSON · 02-21-2007, 10:34 PM

Alright, lets have it! Who's got the best joke??

CBRAWR · 02-22-2007, 02:02 AM

A woman was walking down the street one day. She came across a tattoo shop and went in. Guy at the counter asks what he can help her with and she says she wants a tattoo.

They go back to the station and he says "ok, what do you want"

She tells him she wants a turkey on the inside of her right thigh, and santa claus on the inside of her left thigh. The guy asked why she wanted such things for tattoos and her reply was "Because my husband always says there is never anything good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas"

TYSON · 02-22-2007, 02:16 AM

A man was walking along the beach and came across a quadriplegic, and she was crying. The man asked "what's wrong" and the woman responded "well, look at me, I have no arms, I have no legs and I've never been hugged". So the man thought he would be nice and gave her a hug.

The next day he was walking along the beach and there she was again, crying. The man asked "what's wrong today"? She replied " well look at me, I have no arms, I have no legs and I've never been kissed before". The guy rolls his eyes and said "alright, I'll give you a kiss".

Again, the man was walking along the beach and seen the same woman. This time she's crying her eyes out. The man says "alright, I've hugged you, I've kissed you, what is wrong with you now"? She says "well look at me, I have no arms, I have no legs and well....I've never been fucked before"! The man sighs, picks the woman up and throws her in the water. The man is like, "there...now you're fucked"!!!

streetillegal · 02-22-2007, 02:27 AM

k not racist but i do live on vancouver island...

How did the native find his sister in the bushes..?????

Not bad.

BSeay · 02-22-2007, 02:29 AM

Little red riding hood is walking through the forest and the wolf jumps out and says "Little red riding hood i'm gonna fuck your little red socks off!"

Little red riding hood says, "Oh no you're not!"
she proceeds to run down the trail farther..

A little farther down she slows down thinking she lost the wolf, again the wolf jumps out and says, "Little red riding hood i'm gonna fuck your little red socks off!"

Little red riding hood says, "Oh no you're not!" and runs down the trail to her grandmothers house, thinking again she lost the wolf.
Well the wolf steps outta the bedroom and tells little red riding hood again, "Little red Riding hood i'm going to fuck you little red socks off!"

Little red riding hood throws a leg up on the chair and says, "Oh no you're not!" You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"

RugbyCanada · 02-22-2007, 02:33 AM

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator, and orders a beer.
The bartender says "HEY! you cant bring that in here--its dangerous!"

The guy says "This?? nah, its tame, watch." He then punches the alligator in the head, and sticks his dick in the alligators mouth. After a few seconds, he pulls it out.

"See--its harmless. As a matter of fact, I'll buy anybody a beer who's willing to try what I just did."

The bar goes dead quiet, untill a blond girl in the back of the bar says "I'll try it, just dont punch me so hard."

Endorphine · 02-22-2007, 04:25 AM

What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trashcan?

one dead baby in 10 thrash cans =D

novakane · 02-22-2007, 08:32 AM

a chinaman is having problems with his eyes so he decides to go to the eye doctor. after a few minutes the doctor quickly identifies the problem. the doctor looks at the chinaman and says "i see the problem, you have a cataract" the chinaman replies "no i dont, i have a rincoln"

jasonn · 02-22-2007, 08:37 AM

Guy is in the doctors office and the doc asks him about his sex life. The guy replied that he'd been married for 20 years so things had definitely chilled down a bit.

Later that evening the guy sees his wife coming out of the shower and notices that she's getting grey hair in "down there". He says "Dang honey I didn't know you were going grey down there!" She says: "I'm not, those are cobwebs..."

MAD_CAT · 02-22-2007, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Endorphine

What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trashcan?

one dead baby in 10 thrash cans =D

That's distrubing.

-T-O-O-L- · 02-22-2007, 01:58 PM

What do you get when you throw a baby against a brick wall?
An erection.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAh ok im not that sick its just funny

FoxMustang · 02-22-2007, 02:04 PM

A baby seal walks into a club.

Black 'n Blue · 02-22-2007, 02:27 PM

A guy and his wife are sitting around and he says, "I bet you can't say something that will make me feel good and bad at the same time".

She thinks a minute and then says, "Your dick is bigger than your brother's".

toyotapower · 02-22-2007, 02:30 PM

a guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. he notices that its sunday and there's no football on, so he asks the bartender to change the channel. the bartender says no, this is a gay bar, they'd rather play football than watch it. so the guy is getting ready to leave but they talk him into staying to play football with him. they tell him the rules: downing your beer is a touchdown, farting is the extra point. so the guy thinks thats not too bad and decides to give it a shot. he downs his beer, then lifts his leg to fart but one of the gay guys jump on him and say "block the extra point!

bassholic · 02-22-2007, 02:38 PM

Two peanuts were walking down the street. And one is Assaulted