The guy friend, Vol IV Part V

[Solitude]

Well fuck me. I just thought I would throw this out there... just venting I suppose.

Some of you may remember a few of my past posts... I was having some problems with my relationship. I had been fearing that my fiance still had feelings for one of her old friends (friends with benefits). I had the discussion with her numerous times about him, always resulting in the end that she and he were just friends.. and that she had no other feelings for him. I always had this nagging doubt that there was more... but I wasnt willing to end things because of that... what if it was just me being paranoid. Shit I loved the girl, I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Anyways, she wanted said friend to visit from out of state. I wasnt cool with that, you dont need to be spending a week at home with some ex while Im at work. She said I was being insecure, I said what she was asking was innappropriate. Well I went home for 4th of july, and I met the said guy... he seemed ok. We talked, he didnt seem like the devil I thought he was. Her old girl friend from college was coming to visit last week.. and after her asking repeatedly I ok'd her old "friend" to come visit. I figured if her friend was there, they really wouldnt be alone, it would only be for a few days etc. I trusted her, trusted him, and said ok. I got burned. Always trust your gut. I should have told her from day one either he goes, or I go. I didnt... I didnt want to be an asshole and tell her who she couldnt be friends with.... even though I knew deep down this guy would sooner or later fuck over my relationship. I took the chance that I would be wrong... and I wasnt wrong. So now, on our 1 year 6 month anniversary instead of going out and having some fun, spending some quality time with my girl... Im sitting here thinking about how badly my heart is broken. Her mom already paid money down on some wedding stuff, reserving photographers, wedding sites etc. and even though I still love her.... the trust is just gone, shredded.... I dont know if it can ever come back. There is two different sides to what really happened... his side, and hers. Either way it breaks my heart. Part of me wants to give this a second chance, shes sworn to forsake all of her guy friends... not to see them etc. etc. But I just know that any time shes not around, the back of my mind is going to be wondering, and worrying if something like this will happen again.
Then to top if all off, a very good female friend of mine... when I told her what happened poured her heart out to me. She knows what kind of a guy I am, and cant believe that my fiance would have risked everything with me for this other guy. My friend said something that we said we would never discuss, she told me that she has feelings for me, and wants to be with me... we have everything in common, and both seem to want the same thing out of a relationship... I know she would never put me in this kind of a situation.
So Ive probably lost my fiance... she still wants to be with me. I want everything to feel the way it did last week.... and I dont think that is going to happen again.
IF I stay with my fiance, I lose a great friend... because she said it would just hurt too much to see me stay with my fiance after what happened... and after my friend opened her heart to me and told me how she really feels.

Part of me wants to take the chance, and start over with my girl.... part of me is afraid this will happen again. Even if it doesnt I dont know if this feeling will ever go away.

Part of me thinks I should take a chance and start over with someone new, take things slow and see what happens.... Part of me is afraid if I try that, I lose everything... what if it doesnt work.. I lost a fiance, a friend, and a potential relationship.

Happy anniversary to me eh?

[dreamy333]

fuck that bitch.. you dont want her whore ass back.. wake up snap out of it. go directly to the liquor store (not beer, liquor) then proceed to the nearest tiddy bar and daydream of how all those girls want only you. look your lucky, i was in a simular situation. and here is my theory the best way to get over one dick is hop on another of course you would like girls.. i dont mean get emotionally involved do not do that yet just go out with some bitches to get your mind off of it. idle time makes you do stupid shit. such as, want to talk to her skanky ass wanting to give her a call and talk all the bs she put you through out. FUCK THAT. you can do better ,YOU WILL NEVER GET THE TRUST BACK.EVER. so like i said take 2 bitches home and call me in the morning. you will thank me. ps. i had wedding shit done too dont think about that. put all that shit in the past. you are not geting maried but get happy about it. you almost spent your life with a cummguzzling dumbass bitch that like to hurt people who love her. sorry this may seem harsh but i really hate cheaters

[Mr. Lesbian]

Your fiance is a fucking slut whore. Sorry to be so frank but that's the truth. Fuck her... then fuck her mom. Seriously. Get out of that shit. It will only get worst. Oh, and beat the snot out of that asshole too.

Shit, I should start my own show.

[Nevrsumr22]

Did they have sex? What happened?

[hybrid]

Well solitude,

Dont say we didnt all tell you what the deal was. She wants to get back with you because after succuming to her desires she realized it was a mistake and that the chump didnt fullfill her ideas.

Your problem is a bit more complex. IF you take her back you surely only solidify that you are a pussy and that she can in fact do what she wants. Secondly, the "T" word (trust) is now completely defined as an oxymoron. So I see little in the way of options but I will tell you how I would handle it.

Break it off with her. Start talking to the other girl and take it reeeeeeaaaaalllll slow. Almost "matrix" style slow if you get my drift. Let the new girl know that it will have to be that way and if she wants to be friends with benefits your cool with that but the TRUST issue needs to be earned even from her.

Later down the road you will come to realize one of two things, that you and the cheating whore are meant to be together or that other women are just as capable if not even more so to be a perfect fit to your life.

I wouldnt ever second guess your desire to ditch her ass as she will ultimately do it again. If she is really in love with you, she will take her place at the back of the pack and prove herself to you by waiting it out and slowly rebuilding that bridge she just burnt.

I however have the idea that you will puss out and be made a puppet out of by her. I really hope that this nasty little lesson has taught you differently!

[Rocket67]

I am with the group on this one. She knew what she was doing before that dude ever came over. Then looked you in the eyes and said you are being insecure and inappropriate. You were dead on right. Either dump her or take her back and treat her like the little whore that she is. Personally...I would do the latter but some dudes just don't know how to treat a girl wrong.

I have always said and still believe that the better you treat a woman the quicker she will screw around on ya.

Of course...NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS...but a bunch are and this is a prime example.

[ZXXX6RN]

You must dump the fiancee for good. Once a cheater always a cheater. If she can cheat on you BEFORE you are legally committed, then what's to stop her AFTER you are married, when the REAL problems arise??

[Jiggly]

Dump her, if you get back she knows youd forgive her and than she would walk all over you, again.

If you get back with her the Cock Crew will have to mount up and bitch slap you in person

Bang the friend twice, than blame it on vulnerability later when she asks why you 2 arent togathar

[sexyicecold]

The writing was on the wall about 4 posts ago, man. You didn't read it then, even though we all wrote it to you. Now it's happened and you're wondering if you should be with her? C'mon, seriously??? Taking her back is sealing your fate as a doormat. She will do who and what she pleases. One-time cheaters (IMO) don't exist. It is a personality defect. She obviously can't get over it or she wouldn't have been harping on you for a year to see/talk to/spend time with this "friend." It's not even about the dick because I'm sure she could have yours when she wanted. There is something mentally and/or emotionally wrong with her. End it now and don't look back.

Seriously. You're done with her. Right now. Make up your mind that she is an unworthy slut NOW.

[appleripper]

"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."

[BrownRob]

Trust your gut on this one.. with this many doubt, I'd call off the wedding and move on (as scary as that is..). Then take it slow with the other girl. Let your heart mend before getting involved again. Get your head on straight and figure out what you want and go for it. Don't let fear dictate your future..

I'm sure you're hurting right now and I wish I can say something to make you feel better.. but all I can say is time heals all wounds.. best of luck to you.

As much as I like beer and getting drunk.. sometimes, alcohol is the worst thing to do in this situation.

[Mr. Lesbian]

Originally Posted by appleripper

"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."

Fool me a third time, and you'll get added to my axis of evil.

[Jiggly]

Originally Posted by BrownRob

Then take it slow with the other girl. Let your heart mend before getting involved again.

Take nothing with the other girl dude, if you just do her youll still be able to be good friends later (you already stated you were a non gay friend of hers) if you date her now while you are on the rebound youll fuck everything else up with her and youll be out two chicks.

[Chauncey]

Originally Posted by BrownRob

As much as I like beer and getting drunk.. sometimes, alcohol is the worst thing to do in this situation.

+1,000. Situations like these are the birthplaces of a lot of alkies.

Use your pimp hand (assuming you have one), dump the skank, and get with your friend. She's seen ya at your worst, therefore she can only see you improve. IMHO, that makes for a far stronger relationship.

[ASCI_Blue]

Originally Posted by ZXXX6RN

You must dump the fiancee for good. Once a cheater always a cheater. If she can cheat on you BEFORE you are legally committed, then what's to stop her AFTER you are married, when the REAL problems arise??

Not always the case, SHTF once in one of my relationships, hooked up with another chick for a few nighter, and regretted the hell out of it. My last relationship was worse towards the end and not once did I ever lay a hand on another