Old topic, new thread...Different names of sex...

[HghVltge]

Originally Posted by hybrid

Thats too bad High Voltage, I was hoping you'd be down for me giving you the Dirty Sanchez. Or something else who cares as long as your down!!!!

how bout the tongue tornado??? ..oh boy i see this thread is just gonna get nasty.. i cant take it anymore .. just regular sex plain sex anywhere anywhich way just no more name calling!!! lol.. wheres my rascus at??.. thats the only one to do the name callin with

[bill]

holy crap those names are hilarious i havent heard them called those names before but nothing better to get ya going in the morning then a good laugh... thanks ya'll and if ya find the old link can ya give it to me id like to read it i can only imagne what it covers

[cookhj]

check out this dictionary of dirty words, phrases and positions...

http://www.turdwords.com/dictionary.cfm

[RSixxygrl]

Originally Posted by cookhj

check out this dictionary of dirty words, phrases and positions...

http://www.turdwords.com/dictionary.cfm

Damn cook!! That takes the cake right there!! Great link

[bill]

that link is awesome thanks for posting it

[adamf2]

I still like the flying camel. I would absolutely love to try that sometime. If only I was with a girl that wouldn't frealk the fuck out when doing it anyway.

[Tekvicious]

Nasty Dragon
Get a girl to attempt a deepthroat on your rod. Hold it till you're about to explode and then smack her on the back of her head. She coughs, sputters and it comes out her nose, mouth and everything. Nasty Dragon.

Cleveland Steamer...skip this one.

Bronco buster...nail your long time girl/wife from behind, grab her tits and watch the clock. Say, Damn _______(insert best friend,sister or hated enemy here) that's tight!!, or "wow, you feel just like your sister from here".
Hang on tight,watch the clock...I doubt you'll make 10 seconds.

[TDub_GSXR]

I have been reading turdwords to help me get through some of these boring days at work and today I about lost it, my friend and I were reading the Ambush Paddinton .... where you are about to cum and you pull out real quick and blow all over her teddybear. I really about fell over laughing, after I got a mental picture of ambusing some girls Paddington teddy bear....

[Mantis]

[an oldie, but still disgusting as hell. But hey, if you want to know what the kids are talking about, read on. Mo' nasty crap than you ever thought people thought of. None of these actions are endorsed by this site, except maybe the first one.-wah]
1. Tea bag - As you are sitting o*n a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot water. An old favorite.

2. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit o*n her chest. (a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

3. The Stranger - Sitting o*n your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

4. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you *****, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

5. Golden Shower - Any form of peeing o*n a girl. (aka: watersports)

6. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you ***** o*n the neck/cleavage area of a girl, it takes o*n the look of beautiful jewelry.

7. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.

8. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

9. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying o*n her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.

10. Double Fishhook - From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.

11. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

12. Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

13. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab o*nto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

14. Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her ***** sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

15. The Fountain of You - While sitting o*n her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

16. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down o*n her, you puke o*n her box. Happy trails!

17. Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers deep into her starfish, then reach around and wipe the residue o*n her upper lip, providing her a mustache.

18. Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use; hence, western.

19. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her suck you off while you're o*n the shitter.

20. The Bismark - Another o*ne involving oral sex. Right before you are about to spew, pull out and shoot all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and jism together.

21. Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

22. Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking o*n your balls, repeatedly tap the head of your ***** o*n her forehead.

23. Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where o*ne person is forced to chow starfish with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jello, jism, etc.

24. The Fish Eye - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper. Thereupon, she turns around in a o*ne-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

25. Tuna Melt - You're down o*n a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

26. The Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.

27. The Chili Dog - You take a dump o*n the girl's chest and then titty ***** her.

28. Gaylord Perry - Going to o*nly o*ne knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits o*n that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either o*n o*ne finger or o*n multiple).

29. The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab o*nto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table, or have her trip and fall o*n her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab o*nto her hips.

30. Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking a dump.

31. Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're can is o*n her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.

32. The Snowmobile - When plugging a girl while she's o*n all fours, reach around and sweep out her arms so she falls o*n her face.

33. The Dutch Oven - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.

34. Smoking Pole - Self Explanatory. Don't use fire.

35. Rusty Trombone - Getting the reacharound while getting your salad tossed. Also known as milking the prostate.

36. Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come o*n her face and let it drip off her chin so it looks like that red shit o*n the turkey's chin.

37. Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.38. Rusty Anchor - After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the recipient gets to enjoy a good fudgesicle.

39. Sandpiper - A stovepiping o*n the local beach, desert, or playground sandbox. Also known as the Sandblast.

40. Lucky Pierre - the middle man in a three way buttfuck. Also known as the french sandwich.

41.Divortex- A mystical place into which old friends are sucked when a married couple splits up.

42.Blump- To suck someone's dick while they are taking a dump.

43.Bustard- A very rude bus driver.

44.Cold Faithful- Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your ***** sucked o*n a ski-lift.

45.Grand pappy smash- To beat your meat so hardcore that it starts to chafe and bleed.

46.Esplanade- To attempt an explanation while drunk.

47.Flatulence- The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

48.Butt Rodeo- When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!

49.Bargoyle- The hideous old hair-spray hag who seems to live at your local watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of dollars a night o*n video-poker, and makes sexually threatening comments to frightened college freshmen.

50.Pasteurize- o*nce you get her hairy bush pasteurize, you got it licked!

51.Beerelevant- A point which does not seem to be particularly important, given enough beer.

52.Mangry- Describing the anger of women who are angry at men, specifically. "She's such a *****, she's just plain mangry."

53.Clitourist- A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie: "Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."

54.Stuffucking- The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. (see also; Fugly)

55.Antlers- Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the nipples.

56.The Kangmin - while a girl is reciting bad poetry, you take her from behind.

57.The Flaming Amazon- This o*ne's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to *****, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes o*n fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz!

58.The Screwnicorn -When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo o*n her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

59.Split pissonality -When you're taking a leak and you get two streams out of the o*ne hole!

60.A Short in the Cord- A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer to Testicular Tendon Tangle Syndrome. Ex. "Oh *****! My nuts are killing me... I think I've got a short in the cord."

61.Old Jism Trail -The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of someone who has just finished fellating a senior citizen.

62.Abdicate -To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

63.Lymph -To walk with a lisp.

64.Anal Boot- An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their ***** and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game.

65.Australian Death Grip- The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great opportunity for wagering among friends.

66.Fumilingus -When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus o*n a woman and she farts directly in his/her face.

67.Intoxicourse- Having sexual intercourse whilst piss-drunk.

68.Valsalva -The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.

69.Insta-gasm -Pre-mature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman. ie: "She was so fine, I had an insta-gasm before I could get her clothes off!"

70.Manual Deconstipation -This is where you get out the hand cream and go in manually for the hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and pulling it out a piece at a time.

71.Post Poodum Syndrome -The feeling of depression felt after successful removal of a hammerhead. The excitement has passed, and you must now find something else to occupy your time.

72.The Homolic Maneuver -Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a choking victim's windpipe.

73.Pegging - having a female take you in the rear with a strap o*n.

74. The UnderDog - after a hard session at the gym, your armpit muscle begins to twitch; thus giving you the ability to jerk a guy off with your armpit muscle.

75. The Twinkler - when you are 69ing a girl and you shove your dick into mouth hard, and you watch her a-hole "twinkle" as she gags.

76. Angry dragon - This involves the girl giving the guy head and as he is about to ***** slapping the girl o*n the back of the head causing the ***** to come out her nose. Great care should be used to not slap her mouth shut.

77. Tony Danza - a takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza. When you are about to ***** while doing a girl from behind, you say "who's the boss?" and stick it in her ass. Before she says anything you shout "TONY DANZA!" and punch her in the back of the head.

78. Alaskan firedragon - another good take off is o*ne of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan firedragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, ***** in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "i have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose.

79. The Walrus - when she's giving u a blowjob and u ***** in her mouth unexpectadly, cover up her mouth and punch her in the stomach.

80. The Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia lips will swell. A la, the fat lip.

81. Sleeping Bag - If you're going down o*n a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head.

82. Hummer Bird - when a girl is giving a guy a hummer, and he's enjoying it, she bites o*n his bird.

83. Bloody Mary - when a drunk guy is going down o*n a girl and without even realizing it after he's done, he realizes Mary was very Bloody.

84. The Houdini - this maneuver is accomplished while going at it doggy style. As you feel you are about to *****, you pull out and spit o*n the small of her back (making her think you've finished...). It's at the point when she turns around when *BAM!* You bust your load in her face (in the eye if you've got proper aiming techniques down.) Also known as the Doug Hennings and the David Copperfield.

85. Upperdecking - This o*ne takes practice. This maneuver requires a toilet with a tank above it, like the o*nes in most homes. Instead of crapping in the bowl, you shit in the tank (i.e. upperdecking). Now don't flush. When the following victim flushes, the rancid waste fills the bowl. If you play your cards right, it may ferment.

86. Journey into darkness - This is the most disturbing of all. It entails shitting into another person's asshole. Not for beginners.

87. Rocky Balboa - dont shower for 2 weeks, then diarrhea down her throat at any point during sexual contact.

88. Rocky Balboa Title Punch - same as the Rocky Balboa, but in that non-showering 2 weeks all you eat is corn. I don't usually do this, but I have to give credit to Sascha and Zach for the next 2. I'm o*nly doing this because they are my bosses kids...

89. The McDonald's Quick Draw - Get your girlfriend to talk dirty into the intercom, making the order guy start to beat off. Then while pulling up to the window, have her give you falatio till you are about to blow your beefy chunk-load. Upon pulling up to the window, tell your girl friend to yell "Draw!". Then o*n "three", both you and the guy blow your loads either o*n her or each other.

90. Uncle Jemima - the typical dirty chef at your local Denny's or other low-class food establishment who occasionally becomes disgruntled, and takes out his frustration o*n your meal, via "the ass wipe" or the "French Toast Strut" seen in Road Trip.

91. Airtight - this is where a girl has a ***** in each of her three holes, hence, airtight.

92. The Throne of Lightning - This is done by ***** a girl while you shit in a toilet. When you're going to blow your load, turn her over and dunk her head in the toilet, while she's bobbing for your turd plummet a river of semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning," a Metallica album.

93. Abe Lincoln - You're getting a girl up the ass and give her a swift donkey punch to the back of her head, knocking her unconscious. You then turn her around and jerk off and blow your load all over her face. Then you shave her beaver and take the clippings and spread it where you jizzed o*n her, making a beard that looks like good ol Honest Abe's.

94. Thanksgiving - Just like the holiday, Thanksgiving is when you do a girl and then she puts her two big butt cheeks o*n your face like holiday hams. An overcooked thanksgiving is similar to this but instead of just putting the cheeks o*n your head she farts o*n it too.

95. PEUM - An acronym coined by a group of drunk assholes that defines the annoying (and uncontrollable) tendency to piss in multiple directions after a raucous *****: Post-Ejaculatory Urinary Misfire.

96. The Beverly Hills Whiffer -This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick o*ne finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"

97. Shanghai Shampoo - ***** a chick until you've built up a load large enough to paint a room. Blow it all in her hair, rub it in thoroughly. When it dries it will resemble the crunchy noodles often served with chop suey.

98 . Frosting the Cake - When you are about to *****, blow a load all over her chest. Then take your dick and evenly spread the Jism around the breasts and over the nipples. Then stick some candles o*n it and start singing "Happy Birthday." Then blow out the candles.

99. Spicey Stanley - When a girl takes hot sauce and pours it o*n your *****. She then proceeds to give you a blowjob, making sure all of the hot sauce is gone.

100.The Brodieruption - while a girl is speaking loe genitalese to you, right before you shoot soul sauce down her gullet, rip ass right in her face, á la Brodie and Renee, in Mallrats.