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Old 01-09-2010, 09:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default War on Leather!

Saw this on another forum...

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Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

This post was written by Fuzzy Duffy
Fuzzy Duffy - who has written 15 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Fuzzy Duffy appears courtesy of Best News Site EVER! -It's Not Left vs. Right... It's Big vs. Small..

Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally*|*GlossyNews.com

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Old 01-09-2010, 09:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Could have been funnier.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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it;s kinda funny but it's like a weak Onion.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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ahahahahahahahahahaha

THEY PEED ON ME ALL DAY
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Wish I could have been there.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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i like that the part of being farted on and force fed hot dogs. more people should be punished in that fashion
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Old 01-09-2010, 10:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
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LMAO, what a great story!
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Old 01-09-2010, 10:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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La Trene ... LOL
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Old 01-09-2010, 10:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
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LMAO, what a great story!
Agreed, I laughed and laughed! I hate these asses! Fucking throwing Blood on someone?! Those idiots that got thrown in the dumpsters were damn lucky a garbage truck didn't come pick them up.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Agreed, I laughed and laughed! I hate these asses! Fucking throwing Blood on someone?! Those idiots that got thrown in the dumpsters were damn lucky a garbage truck didn't come pick them up.
it wasn't a real story... think onion only a somewhat less funny imitator.
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Old 01-10-2010, 01:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
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La Trene ... LOL
I didn't get the joke until you quoted it. Thanks.
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Old 01-10-2010, 05:52 AM   #12 (permalink)
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who knew a bunch of upper middle classers on 30k bikes were so crude eh!!
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:12 PM   #13 (permalink)
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What, no one has heard of "Thunder in the Valley"? Like a mini Sturgis. Give those middle aged men enough booze and their inner frat boy comes out (like it's hiding really hard ). Just sounds like shit I saw at school. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see this stuff in real news.
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:13 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
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who knew a bunch of upper middle classers on 30k bikes were so crude eh!!
"upper middle class"
Bunch of morons with a $30k loan is what they are.
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Old 01-10-2010, 06:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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That's pretty sad to hear about supposed real bikers farting on peoples faces as a form of torture.

Real bikers would have raped them and then slit their throats.

Fvcking bikers are a bunch of pussy fagots.
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