Age differences in relationships: What are your feelings?

[Dirk Squarejaw]

One day I was at a friend's house when I saw this girl that caught my eye. He is in his mid-20s and I assumed she was about the same.....

Fast forward a couple weeks, and he brings her to a party at my house. We talked a little but nothing major and the whole time I was never really sure if there was a relationship between the two of them so I left it at that. I tried to find out a way to get ahold of the girl and ask her out on the condition that I wasn't stepping on my friends toes. Later that week, I got a call from the brother of the guy that brought her to the house and told me she had been wanting to get ahold of me. We finally got ahold of each other, talked, and now after two months, we are both really happy. We've been to a few concerts, rode together, gone out a few nights, etc. and have had lot of fun.

I'm a 31yo professional and she is a 20yo college student. We're cool with it. My friends are cool with it. However, some of the older folk in both families are going along with it but not fans because of the age difference like its some big taboo or that its just a rebound thing for me.

0-5yrs difference seems pretty common amongst people I know, but bigger differences seem less common. I'm just curious what other people out there think outside of our little circle that we are involved in. What do you guys think about age differences in relationships?

[mssdrider]

*shrug*
my boyfriend is 32, i'm 23, so that's 9 years...
i just set my sister up with a friend of ours: he's 29, she's 19.
I don't think age really matters, in fact, i have never been with anyone who hasn't been at least 4 years older than me. I don't think it really matters, as long as you two know what you want. 11 years really isn't that bad. I understand why the elders in the family would have a problem with it (my parents had a problem with my sister's bf, thought not mine) but that may be because I'm a little older.

So yeah, as long as you two are happy, i don't think it matters...

oh and allow me to be the first to say: (of her, not you, for the rest of the leghumpers in the forum) and way to go!

[Czolgosz]

Typically the age issue will be evident when you're out of the she's-hot-and-i-love-being-in-the-sack-with-her stage. About month and a half later. This is generally when you find out that your life experiences and lifestyles are so different that it really won't work. ymmv, of course.

And screw what other people think, if you're having a good time you're having a good time.


And to mssd for looking out for the er's

Any 20 y/o worth her salt will let you take pics of her bikini and your bike, soooooo ->

[chas4fz]

Well..after a few 10+ years age difference, I'm honing my bracket to more my age range.

Funny as that is, its actually harder to find girls my age with the same interests and energy level - never went looking for younger girls, but I must be born into the wrong generation? NEway, I think age becomes a factor after some time - its all good for a while, then one day one or both wake up and, when faced with the possibility of a longer term relationship the age thing becomes a bigger deal. Just bums me out, since you would think that just being good together in each other's company would be enough.

So...for a "good time", age doesn't matter. For a "long time", it matters.

Just my $.02.

[Dirk Squarejaw]

Originally Posted by chas4fz

Well..after a few 10+ years age difference, I'm honing my bracket to more my age range.

Funny as that is, its actually harder to find girls my age with the same interests and energy level - never went looking for younger girls, but I must be born into the wrong generation? NEway, I think age becomes a factor after some time - its all good for a while, then one day one or both wake up and, when faced with the possibility of a longer term relationship the age thing becomes a bigger deal. Just bums me out, since you would think that just being good together in each other's company would be enough.

So...for a "good time", age doesn't matter. For a "long time", it matters.

Just my $.02.

That is exactly my problem. My musical tastes, interests, hobbies, etc. don't all match up with my age. There is also the fact that when I get home from work....and thats 2 jobs (because the state is a cheap-ass), I still feel like conquering the world. Also, there is one big factor that comes up when dating girls closer to my age......kids. I don't dislike kids as I'm around them all day, but I prefer the ones that go home at 3:10. I'm not ready to give up vacations, hobbies, etc. like all my friends have. The odd thing is that all the women in those relationships agree with me and tell me kids are the last thing I need, yet all the guys tell me that I need to suck it up and that kids are a fact of life. I think my friends want me to join in the misery.

Either way, this current relationship has been great and our interests match up better than I would have ever imagined with the 11yr. difference. As far as pics, I'm at work but I'll try to post some later. I entered the relationship with a "enjoy it while it lasts"-attitude, but the longer it goes the better it feels. Who knows.....

[Twinsen]

I'd have to agree with the above poster, although you have 20 years on me. I feel like I was born late or something. I always date older women, ever since I was 18. Oldest I've dated was 42, but I didn't do anything with that cause I was partially with someone and she was "engaged". The girl I'm currently with is 26, with my being 22. I prefer to date older, because they have a better mindset. I've only gone out with one chick that was barely 18, and that really didn't last long!

[Bredebee]

Originally Posted by Czolgosz

Typically the age issue will be evident when you're out of the she's-hot-and-i-love-being-in-the-sack-with-her stage. About month and a half later. This is generally when you find out that your life experiences and lifestyles are so different that it really won't work. ymmv, of course.

And screw what other people think, if you're having a good time you're having a good time.


And to mssd for looking out for the er's

Any 20 y/o worth her salt will let you take pics of her bikini and your bike, soooooo ->

You just can't help yourself can you ?

[soxxerms]

hey dirk dont stress it im 32 mine is 20 and we are the best together, age is not the issue if you dont let it be. if you are happy and she is happy that is all that matters.

[bassholic]

And to think at the beach this weekend some 24 yr old girl i was talking to was asking why all these 35 yr old men were hitting on her. Everyone is different and you make the most out of it.

For me at 24, i feel i can go older or younger. Older means they might want to get really serious while younger could mean they don't have a career yet. I am the last person who wants to stop someone from pursuing what makes them happiest b/c they have gotten into a relationship.

And finally i've thought at 30 i'd settle down with a 24 yr old. Only time will tell. And one of my beach house mates is 30 and he's sleeping with a 22 yr old in the house. Make the most out of what you do.

[Czolgosz]

Originally Posted by bredebee

You just can't help yourself can you ?

[bdrushto]

I have yet to be able to date someone younger than me. The two I have that were my age were not very productive relationships, and I still am having a slight issues with the 23 year old I'm with now as far as maturity. I don't think age matters too much, but it seems to be a indicator for me. Although I'm sure there's an 18 y.o. out there right now I would get along with great, I just haven't found her.

BTW... I used to live towards Elwood. Born right around there, Dad lived there for well over ten years.

[Ivan_markII]

Because women plan to take a few years off from work to raise children, they are attracted to men who have established themselves career and socially. That usually means somewhat older men.

Men, on the other hand, will usually choose women whose reproductive years are ahead of her and not behind her.

In practice, that means many women will marry a well-off older man but sleep around with a younger man.

[Bredebee]

Do what makes you happy but I think what Chas said was more on the money. Enjoy what your doing and have fun but at some point the age difference coudl kick in

[Gosling1]

What ever makes you happy! My step mom is 5 years older than me. That give me a 6 year little bro!

[MotoJB]

It's all good as long as she's younger than I am... ; )