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I recently got a divorce and am getting back into the game slowly but surely. Am kind of re learning the dating scene. So, here's the story.
I met a girl last night at a St.Patrick's day party. We started talking and it turned out we had a lot of things in common and got along really well. We hung out at the bar all my friends go to and even though she was getting hit on left and right she was pretty much only talking to me.
Her friend wanted to go to a nightclub to dance. So, I came along with them and we were pretty much attached at the hip the entire time there, we danced for 2 hours or so and we all went back to her friend's place. We talked for a few hours and made out a little bit, and slept together on her friend's couch. No sex but that wasnt what I or her were out for anyway.
So, she calls me this morning to make sure I got home OK and everything and we talk for 30-40 minutes before I went to work. We really got along well and the conversations that we had never seemed to stall or be dull in any way.
My question is what to do next, like I said I have been out of the dating scene for 5 years and am now just getting back into it. To be honest I really didnt date much before my ex because we got together right out of high school. Should I wait a few days to call her back, wait for her to call me, anything else? She said she isnt just out for sex but also doesnt want to rush into something serious right away, and I feel the same way. Any non-juvenile advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
Call her in a day. What do you have in mind for a date? Depends on what you talked about I guess. If you talked about some serious stuff, maybe suggest a dinner (if you can cook yourself, cook her a dinner, big points there), or something non-traditional, like go-karting. It also depends on what you know are her interests, so I can't help you there. If there's something she talked about that you think is fun, maybe suggest that or something along those lines. Hey if she called you the next morning,
More details are always helpful. Just curious, how old are the both of you?
F "dating rules", call her if you feel like it. Be honest and open. Do what you feel like, be yourself, and don't falter on your own feelings and intuition because of some unwritten rules that say don't call until 3 days after bullshit.
If she doesn't like it, f her. There's plenty more people out there that you will find attraction to and get along with.
Oh, short answer - call her and go do something tonight.
If you really care about my history: After going on our first date, my wife and I have talked to each other at least on the phone every single day. Three years and still going strong (read: I still get horny when I see her naked ) We are pretty much inseparable, except when I'm on a business trip or she's pissed off at one of the many man things I do that piss off women.
I haven't really documented what that is because it appears to be selected at random.
Oh you wanted non-juvenile advice, cant help you there.
How old are you guys? If she's younger you have to follow dating rules and act like you don't like her. If you are mature adults I can only assume you can act like human beings and actually say and behave as you feel.
+1 on being mature adults bzbatl. Depends on how old you are. I consider myself a mature adult, and tried doing the mature things with my last g/f. Turns out she wasn't mature! If you want a mature relationship based on substance, be yourself and do what you feel is right.
F "dating rules", call her if you feel like it. Be honest and open. Do what you feel like, be yourself, and don't falter on your own feelings and intuition because of some unwritten rules that say don't call until 3 days after bullshit.
If she doesn't like it, f her. There's plenty more people out there that you will find attraction to and get along with.
Oh, short answer - call her and go do something tonight.
F "dating rules", not so fast.
As much as I hate the dating game, it exists and it is a fact that you have to put up with it.
However, there are no written rules, every relationship is different. Go with your gut feelings, and when in doubt or not getting the expected results, try some of the known tactics, but untill then, trust your instincts.
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Süsser Tod - Ich bin der ungelebte Traum
Take it slow and easy-Be friends first. Everything beyond that will fall into place if its meant to happen.
I'm not spouting romantic bullshit here- Many people get together simply because they find a warm body that gives them a case of the screaming thigh sweats.
I'm 42, been divorced since '01 and better off for it. I dont date often but when I do its fun. My last relationship started off as a really nice friendship.
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Isnt it interesting that some types of
riders found out that loud pipes are cheaper than penile implants?
Thanks for the replies, maybe i'll PIIHB at some point, but not now.
I am 23 and she is 22. But we both are mature adults as far as i can tell. I am a college graduate, own a house, help run 3 successful family businesses (movie theatre, furniture store, motorcycle repair).
From talking to her she is just finishing up with college and is working to pay her bills. Most of our conversation was about our backgrounds, likes/dislikes, etc. She didnt seem to have the little girl mentality that my ex-wife and other girlfriends have had, which is a big plus to me.
Still thinking about the date thing. I mentioned buying a new car and she said she loves helping pick out cars so maybe we could do that followed by the typical date stuff (dinner, movie, etc.) But I guess I'll figure that out when we come to it.
Ooh the buying-a-new-car-date, that's a good one! Should give you a chance to size up her financial capabilities too (i.e. does she know how to budget, realize what's affordable, or just spend spend spend etc). Plus it sounds like fun, I love going car shopping with people.
Oh I thought you WERE 42, not had 42 posts. If it was that great, tell her exactly what you told us in the first post. Just don't JUMP into stupid things too fast. At that age I think that weather you want to or not that you have to play games.
Don't be a leach and start calling her all the time. Maybe text her before you call with something as simple as "Hey what are you doing?" Then crack open a beer and wait and see.
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I'm going to have to disagree with the be friends first thing. You do not want to fall into the friendzone. Did you know that 3 out of every 5 men fall into the friendzone with a female that they could have gottten laid by? Ok, so I made that statistic up, but being friends is bad. Let her know you want to do dirty, dirty things to her, that is, in a discreet and respectable manner.
Date her, have fun, don't get serious for 3 years. Women don't REALLY know what they want until after 25 (my opinion backed up with many of my friends, some female) and gys really don't know until they hit 28-30. Sounds like you are very grounded though helping to run 3 different businesses.
Oh and don't PIIHB....that's just messy and makes your schwantz stink.
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The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
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) We are pretty much inseparable, except when I'm on a business trip or she's pissed off at one of the many man things I do that piss off women.
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