confused...help me out guys!

mssdrider · 03-16-2006, 02:20 PM

alright, so... i need someone to confirm what I think is going on...
There is a guy that i've been attracted to for awhile. He is actually a friend of a friend and we've known each other (hi in passing kind of way) for about six months now. In january, we finally met up and we had a blast, (went to the shooting range, had dinner, hung out after...the only thing better would be if it was warm enough to ride). But he was sort of seeing someone then so neither of us pressed the issue. Then middle of January they stopped seeing each other, but again neither of us really said much about it. However, there would be constant phone calls, e-mails, and text messages from him. We went out a couple of times after that and were never shy about our attraction towards each other (heavy flirting). Finally, about 3 weeks ago, we finally sat down and tried to sort things out about what's going on between us. I told him that i don't date around but don't want a relationship with him because neither of us are ready for that. He agreed and told me that even though he was very attracted to me, due to his personal life at the moment (and yeah, there's a lot going on) and his job (he works 15+ hours a day, 6 days a week) he doesn't think he can give me the attention and time i deserve. I told him that i'm not the type of girls who needs a man in her life constantly and am willing to give this a chance if he's willing to put in some effot. And he said he was.
But after that, i haven't really heard from him. He went from having contact with me at least once every two days to...i haven't heard from him in about a week. I thought it was because I finally slept with him, but if he was only about sex, then why did he never press the issue (i made both of us wait awhile) he tells me he misses me and want to see me...but doesn't make the effort to come see me, and finds excuses when i ask if he wanted me to go up and see him. My girls are telling me that he has someone else and is just stringing me along...and I'm starting to believe them. What are some of the guys' opinions in this? I hate being the idiot and hate the games...

it's just difficult for me to let this one go because it's been awhile since i've been as attracted to someone as i am to him... so i know this is very immature...but want some opinion to see if it matches my conclusions... thanks guys!

Holty · 03-16-2006, 02:51 PM

this is only MY opinion here.

i hate confrontation, as does most guys. he probably only wanted to have sex with you and now that he got it, he dosn't want to hurt your feelings by saying he dosn't want to see you again. so, he'll keeps SAYING that he misses you, but dosn't act on it. soon you'll get tired of it, and just forget about him. thats probably what he wants.

i know, i'm insensative, but i did the same thing, (before i got married).

RugbyCanada · 03-16-2006, 02:56 PM

I'm gonna assume yer a girl, not a guy. You never mentioned it, and I cant tell.
Anyways, all he wanted was your poonany. Get over it, and dont waste yer time. I'm gonna be very honest here, as i'm now married, and dont have to put up with all that bullshit anymore---I'm a guy, and I have done that shit tons of times. {the whole "lets be friends, then we screw, then I never call" thing}.
You got rocked by a guy with good skills---chalk it up to experience, and move on. Sorry that it had to happen to you, as you seem like a nice person. But, thats the way of the world.

fire · 03-16-2006, 02:58 PM

He either has a another girl on the side, or you are no longer a challenge for him. Either way he is not feeling you, and he is running scared. Move on with your life, if he is into you he would make the effort to be with you.

fire · 03-16-2006, 03:01 PM

As Rugby so delicately put it, You got played. He is absolutely correct, but it is too bad that it happened to you.

RugbyCanada · 03-16-2006, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fire

As Rugby so delicately put it, You got played. He is absolutely correct, but it is too bad that it happened to you.

tanks Fire--I knew I loved you, but couldnt figure out the reason.
Take our advice--you DID get played, and it sucks, but learn from it.

mssdrider · 03-16-2006, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RugbyCanada

tanks Fire--I knew I loved you, but couldnt figure out the reason.
Take our advice--you DID get played, and it sucks, but learn from it.

harsh but true. I knew it, just couldn't really admit it. Thanks guys!

RugbyCanada · 03-16-2006, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mssdrider

harsh but true. I knew it, just couldn't really admit it. Thanks guys!

crap--I feel bad for telling the truth, as you honestly seem like a nice person. Next time, get pics, and post his little weiner on here---well flame him good for you!
Better luck next time, and know that you'll end up with a really good guy.

adrienne · 03-16-2006, 03:18 PM

There was a book that came out not to long ago that I've never read but the concept has stuck with me...

If you sit around wondering why and he's not calling or texting there is a simple reason. He's just not that into you.

Maybe he has another girl - maybe he doesn't. If he really wanted to be with you he would be. Why sit around and waiste your time wondering about him when he's obviously not doing the same for you?

mssdrider · 03-16-2006, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RugbyCanada

crap--I feel bad for telling the truth, as you honestly seem like a nice person. Next time, get pics, and post his little weiner on here---well flame him good for you!
Better luck next time, and know that you'll end up with a really good guy.

thanks...i believe i will do that.

and don't feel bad...i rather know, even if it is bad news, than be kept in the dark.

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrienne

If you sit around wondering why and he's not calling or texting there is a simple reason. He's just not that into you.

Maybe he has another girl - maybe he doesn't. If he really wanted to be with you he would be. Why sit around and waiste your time wondering about him when he's obviously not doing the same for you?

yup! just had a girl moment there...got it...definitely going to try and move on now... i'm thinking a nice ride up to the shooting range...

TemtnF8 · 03-16-2006, 03:39 PM

damn... a chick who likes bikes and guns... and she's only a day or so ride away...

can I get yer number?

AnKleBiTer · 03-16-2006, 03:51 PM

Sorry MSSD
I think the guys hit the nail on the head with the statement about...well you know. Anyway You are a very pretty girl who likes lots of things that guys find interesting. I am MORE than sure that another great guy who is going to truly be interested in YOU will come along and things will go well!! Keep up the chin Sistah, there are SOOOOOO many fish in the sea and just not enough time to explore it all!

mssdrider · 03-16-2006, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TemtnF8

damn... a chick who likes bikes and guns... and she's only a day or so ride away...

can I get yer number?

thanks temtnf8, you're really sweet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnKleBiTer

Sorry MSSD
I think the guys hit the nail on the head with the statement about...well you know. Anyway You are a very pretty girl who likes lots of things that guys find interesting. I am MORE than sure that another great guy who is going to truly be interested in YOU will come along and things will go well!! Keep up the chin Sistah, there are SOOOOOO many fish in the sea and just not enough time to explore it all!

thanks anklebiter. At least i found out before i fell in love with him or something... i'm good!