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When I was in training for my current job me and the guys used to hit up this restaurant on our lunch break. There was always this really cute girl that would serve us, and I'd flirt with her alot, but nothing serious (she was taken, but it made the flirting better.) After some time I stopped going there, not because of her, because I found more food joints in the area.
Here we are 6 mo's later.
I decided to stop in and see what was on the menu, and theres little Miss cheerie eye. We get to talkin for a good bit and kinda catch up on the news, pretty much the whole time she's joking on me about being MIA, we brush up a little bit and just kinda joke around. Well the line is building up behind me, so I head out with my food and give her a friendly wave/smile bye, not meaning to give her any ideas.
A couple days later I stop in to get some chili and one of the guys who works there gives me the heads up that she digs me, she told him that she blew me off once before, (although I never asked her out) but she'd date me if I was interested. I shrug it off, heard it before and though he was bs'ing me.
Now today... There I am back in there and the next thing I know I've got her phone #, how the fuck did that happen?
Turn's out shes 22, and a child of 2 1/2. Although shes hella cute and a butt that makes for a kodak moment, the kid thing kinda gets to me. I've never let myself try to date a girl with kids. I like to think I'm very responsible, but I'm not ready to be a baby's daddy. On the other hand, she seems like a very sweet girl, and I kind of want to know what she's looking for in me, without asking it straight up.
Any input?
Last edited by prodigal27 : 02-22-2006 at 10:17 PM.
she seems like a very sweet girl, and I kind of want to know what she's looking for in me
Look at this situation without any emotion. She's 22 with a kid and works at a fast food restaurant. What do you think she's looking for? Probably looking for someone to help her and her child have a half way decent life by hooking up with a nice guy that will help her out.
Or she's a tramp who hangs out at the bar while her mom watches the kid. She blows her paycheck away dancing and drinking and she just wants someone to party with. She obviously puts out, but more importantly she's obviously fertile.
If she is 22 and works in a restaurant chances are that is the only thing she is qualified for. It would be sad to flat out reject her for not having higher aspirations because at this moment you really don't know what her goals are. ANYBODY can have a child, it's not just a person who is being irresponsible. It's so much easier to just have an abortion when you get pregnant I think it usually takes someone special to decide to keep a child. NOT all women who keep children are responsible, I know that.
Single moms are a special breed. They have been through the ringer and come out one of two ways...Either they are totally into themselves, ignore their kids other than as a form of extorting money from the assorted men who have fathered their multiple children or they are hard working moms, who try their best given their circumstances to take care of themselves and their child/children.
No matter which circumstance the mom is in, you need to always remember to treat her with kid gloves. Some moms are tough and will be very hard on any man who comes into her life, some are pushovers cause they are always looking for love and validation. Then others are cautious and easily scared away because life has been tough on them.
I despise men who think that because you are a single mother you are some how more likely to put out...that is not always the case. Also remember when you get involved with a single mom, if eventually you get to meet her family, kids etc, in the end your break up effects everyone. It can be a lot of responsibility if you decide to go for something serious.
Just something to think about...
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Not everyone is the same. Speaking from experience, go for it. It may be rewarding. Also speaking from experience, you may get attached to the kid. If you break up, you now lose two people you're attached to...
Been there, done that twice and I was about your age. Both were decent enough experiences. I hesitate to even suggest this but you might want to see if she's doing anything aside working at this restaurant. My bestest friend in the world (and a MILF to boot) was working on getting her AA in various computer related things, she's a hell of a programmer now for HTML and has got a few job interviews lined up. At the time we were dating she was unemployed and focusing 100% on her schooling. Likewise this chicklet might be working to pay the bills and going to school so she can have a future for herself and her kiddo.
I wouldn't write her off just yet however I think that being a friend (without being a gay/girlfriend) might be the best approach in this situation. Kiddo's dad was obviously a piece of shit else she would still be taken and as the other guys have said she obviously puts out so she's probably used to either being used or being hit on with the intent to get laid. Be different, be exciting, and don't be interested in feeding your cock.
I recently took a similar approach to yet another chick in Idaho, turns out she was burned pretty bad too so now I've gotta come up with an ingenius way to conni...convince her I won't burn her too. Fun to say the least cause I'm pretty sure she works in a bar.
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I don't need to anything more besides they are all right. My advice is to NOT do it or test the waters. My brother did the same thing and he hates his life. Seriously she better be really hot because you are going to be her meal ticket if she hooks you. And break ups are hard to do 'specially if she is a psychotic bitch who is nucking futs. My brother screwed up big time. Yea but seriously be careful. Best of luck. Hit it and quit it.
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Just because she has a kid doesn't mean a damn thing, other than she has had sex before. She isn't asking to move in with you, or to be a surrogate father. She is saying, that if you are still interested in going on a date, that she would enjoy it. Everyone here is talking like she asked you to pay her bills or something. Maybe, just maybe, she is a 22 year old single woman, who thinks you are attractive, and would like to go on a date with you, Oh, and by the way, she happens to have a child. Go out, enjoy yourself. Just realize, that timing issues with sitters and such will make it slightly more difficult to arrange dates with her. Don't be in a rush to meet her child. I have dated several single moms in the past, and only rarely did I EVER meet their children. It is usually a non issue, so, if she is hot/pleasant to be around, go out, enjoy your life, and let her enjoy hers.
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Cannot stress this part enough! If you do go out with her DO NOT RUSH TO MEET THE KID. Also, she works (is not seeing her kid) and when out on a date with you (will not be seeing her kid) - my point, do not take up too much of her time. But to be honest. If you are not ready to be a Daddy - don't date her.
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If she is 22 and works in a restaurant chances are that is the only thing she is qualified for. It would be sad to flat out reject her for not having higher aspirations because at this moment you really don't know what her goals are. ANYBODY can have a child, it's not just a person who is being irresponsible. It's so much easier to just have an abortion when you get pregnant I think it usually takes someone special to decide to keep a child. NOT all women who keep children are responsible, I know that.
Single moms are a special breed. They have been through the ringer and come out one of two ways...Either they are totally into themselves, ignore their kids other than as a form of extorting money from the assorted men who have fathered their multiple children or they are hard working moms, who try their best given their circumstances to take care of themselves and their child/children.
No matter which circumstance the mom is in, you need to always remember to treat her with kid gloves. Some moms are tough and will be very hard on any man who comes into her life, some are pushovers cause they are always looking for love and validation. Then others are cautious and easily scared away because life has been tough on them.
I despise men who think that because you are a single mother you are some how more likely to put out...that is not always the case. Also remember when you get involved with a single mom, if eventually you get to meet her family, kids etc, in the end your break up effects everyone. It can be a lot of responsibility if you decide to go for something serious.
Just something to think about...
excellant post, i married a much younger single mom (met her on HERE), and now she;s in her 3rd yr nursing program..........
what are you looking for in the relationship?
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I don't need to anything more besides they are all right. My advice is to NOT do it or test the waters. My brother did the same thing and he hates his life. Seriously she better be really hot because you are going to be her meal ticket if she hooks you. And break ups are hard to do 'specially if she is a psychotic bitch who is nucking futs. My brother screwed up big time. Yea but seriously be careful. Best of luck. Hit it and quit it.
