If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above.
You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.
To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
A few months ago I met a girl, and we hit it off right away. She was really into me (omg, you ride a motorcycle? That's so cool! etc etc), I had fun chatting with her and we had good laughs together. I was being myself and doing my own thing, like I always do. Seemed great, and I was into her as well, so I asked to her to be my g/f and she said yes. That was about two months ago. A little later on she said she was stunned that I asked her out, that she never imagined we'd be together even though she wanted it.
We both go to college, and our schedules are kind of crazy, but I started putting in effort to see her, and make time to get together and whatnot. This is where I went wrong. I was no longer a Challenge (been reading about Doc Love's The System ). I started doing all the work, and putting in all the effort. I should have chilled out.
Last week she started talking about how she likes me a lot, but doesn't want to fall in love with me, because I graduate in 3 months (she's a freshman) and she's going back home. Then starts saying how she's messed up, and has problems, and I deserve better and that she's not good for me. I guess I do the predictable, boring thing and say that's bs, chalk it up to her being immature (and young), let's make the best of the 3 months we have, we don't know what the future will bring.
Friday we get together to watch a movie, she seemed different. You know, the little things. Yeah she sat next to me, but she didn't really want to hold hands like she normally does. Later on, we go back to my house for a party, I promised I'd look after her so she doesn't do anything "stupid". Well that didn't work out, she was flirting with every guy there (including an ex-boyfriend and another guy she knows has the hots for her) right in front of me, culminating with her kissing another guy right in front of me. I should have grabbed her and dragged her out, but I was just too stunned I guess. I don't really remember the details of what happened next (I wasn't really drinking, that's not a factor), but later on she left my sight and up and up disappeared. I had no idea where she went, her cell phone and bag and everything are still in my room, so I get worried that maybe some drunk guy took her somewhere or something. So I go out on foot to all the local bars and clubs for a hour and a half looking for her, eventually find her back in her dorm room. She fell asleep on a couch (in the room of the guy she kissed, who she had a slight interest in before we started dating).
I talk to her for a bit, say I'm pissed, she doesn't know why she did it, blah blah blah then back to the issue of us going our separate ways in 3 months. I think it's over, ask her to come back to my house so I can give her something (the gift I bought her for valentine's day), she comes a little ways then starts complaining (I don't even remember what she said), so I let go of her hand, keep walking, say "fine, then leave" and don't look back.
Felt like shit, woke up the next morning, felt like shit, went for a 4 hour long ride to clear my mind, was feeling better, got back and read her AIM profile, big mistake. She's got the lyrics to Easy as Life up, I instantly feel terrible, get depressed, and get real drunk.
That was yesterday. I promised I wasn't going to be the person to start a conversation, but I did this morning, to ask her if she needed a ride to church. We talked for a bit, I asked if she had feelings for me and she said yes, so I ask why we're making each other feel awful. Same answer as before.
I know I should dump her; she doesn't put in the effort anymore, I do; she hasn't seemed to want to see me like the way she used to (over the past week), she flirted with and kissed another guy in front of my face for crying out loud. I feel a lot better now having vented, I'm willing to work to make this relationship work, because I care about her, but she's got to make the next move, not me, and she needs to put the effort in. If she wants me, she's got to prove it. I deserve better than this shit. I'm the best guy she's ever had a relationship with in a long time (I know some of her ex-es, they are dirt bags), and she doesn't even realize it. Her loss.
Get rid of her. I know it sounds insensitive but in my eyes if they fuck up as bad as kissing another guy in front of you then they aren't worth it. If she kissed a guy in front of you what would she do if you weren't even there. Similar thing happened to my buddy and weeks later she was banging all kinds of dudes behind his back. Not saying thats going to happen in your situation, but it could. If my girl ever even kissed another guy while we were together she would be dropped faster than (instert something that gets dropped fast here). Even though I've been with her 2 years and I love her, infedelity is just not accpetable.
depressing. Let her go but dont dump her. She can be a useful patch somewhere down the road. WHat u need right now is a new piece of ass, the uglier the better. Time to change gears and get that shit out your system. good luck
I agree boss, I'm the kind of guy that will trust someone implicitly until given reason not to, and this is all the reason in the world. It's just hard when you care deeply about someone. Plus I think part of it was that she's trying to do things to upset me, to get me to distance myself (not to mention she was pretty drunk, but that's no excuse). So it's all the distance in the world now. I just need to find a girl that cares as much about me as I do about her...
she flirted with and kissed another guy in front of my face for crying out loud.
I'm willing to work to make this relationship work, because I care about her.
I deserve better than this shit.
why are WE making each other feel awful... forget that crap. she's the one who kissed another guy in front of you, and now you feel bad for telling her how it is and to just leave. you had the right idea right then and there man, she kissed a dude in front of you, SHE'S GONE!
Its cool that you are willing to work things out and all, but come on. its obvious that you care about her, but its even more obvious that she dosn't care about you. plainly illustrated by kissing guys in front of you. if you really deserve better then man up and prove to her and yourself that thats true and drop her ass
Get rid of her. She wants to break up just doesn't want to say it. All the signs point to it. If you cling it'll just push her farther away. Let her go.
Seriously, go read the post I made here: LINK, (post #45) it will HELP to open your eyes as to why women do things.
Now I am going to say what has probably happened is that you've become a needy wuss with her and your not exciting to her anymore. If you read what I told you to, you would somewhat understand what I mean by that. Women are driven by EMOTION, they want a guy who creates emotion in their lives. Her actions at the party were a desperate search for emotion out of you, she wanted a MAN who stood his ground and took charge! Women truel do want to be led by a man, no matter how much they lead you to believe otherwise. I'm not talking about getting in a fight, I'm talking about taking charge with her! Don't be a jerk, but certainly don't be a wuss! Crawling back to her is a huge NO-NO if you want her back, you want her to be crawling back to you! Always being available for her and kissing her ass all day long are bad, you need to create a little bit of unavailability yourself due to having other exciting plans, time apart creates longing in her for time back together. You've most likely become too easy and predictable, women HATE this! Women like the guys who suprises them, create emotion in them, do spontaneous things that are not average run of the mill stuff. I bet when you go out to eat you ask her "where do you want to go?", women want a guy who takes charge and makes decisions himself. If she really wants to go somewhere else she will let you know after you say where you are planning on going, you'll probably be suprised at how often your choice is acceptable with her. Asking her if she has feelings for you may get you in the "freind" category real quick!
__________________
RACERS CORNER MODERATOR
Questions, concerns, problems? P/M me.
What you just read is my opinion and is based on my experiences and the info I have acquired during my life, it's my interpretation and isn't written in stone. Yes, I post long responses regularly because I like to fully explain my views. Don't like it or agree with what I have to say? Then don't read it or respond to it! Respond like an immature idiot to posts of mine and I will just ignore you. Have a nice day.
dude...dude...dude..What. The. Fuck. Really. Show her you've got two important body parts to being a man a spine and some testicles. Next time you see her don't talk don't be a pussy just fucking kiss her. What's the worst she'll do push you away and slap you? If you can't take a girl slapping you get over to my place and I'll give you something nice and white to wear to match my domestic appliances (normally a joke reserved for women). If nothing else do it out of spite and promptly walk away. At the least you'll confuse the shit out of her.
__________________ jim schmidtIf you didn't spank her hard during first date sex, you've already lost the battle, you wuss and pussy! ChaunceyAs we speak, speedy is in class right now learning about anatomy. He had a few questions regarding these things called "testicles" and something called a "spine".
Proud Member of The Cock Crew (Unofficial Fan Club of 'The Pussy Posse') Preventing 'Gay Friends' ...one pecker at a time. asci_blue Now if you want mean I'll do mean. Men are really evolved women. Since the default gender is female men have to be better. ;)
Thanks Mike, you're right about a lot. I'm not a wuss with her, but I did get predictable. I tired too hard. I've been doing a lot of reading (thanks Doc Love!!), and just going back to being myself. I'm feeling better already.
On other news, she came over to my room today (while I was reading this thread, ironically enough). She came and sat down next to me, but I think I did the right thing. I pretty much ignored her the whole time, didn't move my hands towards hers, didn't touch her, and just talked to my friends that were in the room like she wasn't there. When she said she was going home, I did the gentleman thing and asked if she wanted me to walk her home, she said no, so I said "see ya" and left it at that.
I'm ready to toss her in the dumpster, but if she gives me a sufficent apology on her own (without my egging her on, etc) and shows me she can be loyal, I'll give it another shot, because I believe good things are worth fighting for. But if she can't show me it's worth it, it's over.
Holy shit you grew some balls before you really had a chance to read my post. Color me impressed. You did the right thing by ignoring her. Good job, I owe you a beer.
__________________ jim schmidtIf you didn't spank her hard during first date sex, you've already lost the battle, you wuss and pussy! ChaunceyAs we speak, speedy is in class right now learning about anatomy. He had a few questions regarding these things called "testicles" and something called a "spine".
Proud Member of The Cock Crew (Unofficial Fan Club of 'The Pussy Posse') Preventing 'Gay Friends' ...one pecker at a time. asci_blue Now if you want mean I'll do mean. Men are really evolved women. Since the default gender is female men have to be better. ;)
Posts: 7,957
Casino Cash: $20616
Sportbike: They see me rollin, they hatin'
If she's not willing to put in the effort drop her ass. I've had a couple like that, it always ends with me falling for them, then dumping them, bad situation.
__________________
"He who would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will lose both and deserves neither."
-- Benjamin Franklin
You graduate in 3 months. She will still be in college. Where are you going after you graduate? To work in a different city. At our age, and especially her age, long distance never works. You guys are to young to have a serious relationship where their is distance between the two of you. She needs time to grow, as do you, things will change and you'll move on. Otherwise you'll always be wondering what she is up too- kissing more boys-
Posts: 8,070
Casino Cash: $450
Sportbike: too many to list
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepcoma
I agree boss, I'm the kind of guy that will trust someone implicitly until given reason not to, and this is all the reason in the world. It's just hard when you care deeply about someone. Plus I think part of it was that she's trying to do things to upset me, to get me to distance myself (not to mention she was pretty drunk, but that's no excuse). So it's all the distance in the world now. I just need to find a girl that cares as much about me as I do about her...
There was your sign..............duche bag.
Uh, she isnt into you anymore, youre her go to guy when she doesnt get what she wants. Seriously, she is a freshman in college, you dont want to get in the way of her acting like the hooker all girls should be allowed to act like for awhile. Stifle this response now and if you did end up with her, she'd hook on you eventually.
Just cut your losses, youre young, she is younger and you both have plenty of people to see nekkid before you need to worry about shit like this.
Oh and really, I would have slapped her and fucked that guy up for that shit. He plain disrespected you in your own house. FUCK THAT. You show me coward and I wouldnt put it past the rest of them to throw you down the list of College Hierarchy.
I think I blew it (long ranting/complaining)
...one pecker at a time.
