Need a little advice on this one....

s2cmpugh · 12-30-2005, 08:26 AM

Ok, so I met this really cool chick thru a friend at work. She likes bikes, cars, even took the MSF and passed. Seems like all is going well. The super cool part is that she is older than me (30), so the experience factor comes into play..or so I thought.

We were talking last night about sex and she said "yes, I am on the pill, but you need to wear a condom if you have sex with me." At first I thought "well thats just making sense to be sure she doesn't get pregnant." The next line was "you need to because I have Herpes." UMMMMMM......GGRRREEAAAATTTT!!!

I mean I haven't slept with her yet, but this threw things way off b/c I pride myself on being healthy. Now I don't know WTF to do. Should I just be like "peace out!" or should I wrap it up if/whenever we do stuff. She said she has only one outbreak a year.

Suggestions on how to handle this b/c I have never been in a situation like this before....

Thanks
Cris P.

oakley addict · 12-30-2005, 08:34 AM

Make sure you use a cover, but the choice is yours beyond that. If it is too strange for you then tell her. Also you should thank her for the update, because there are a lot of people who wouldn't tell you.

FloridaMike · 12-30-2005, 08:35 AM

i sure as hell wouldnt hit it....

a condom only protects against herpes in the area thats covered by it.... herpes can be transmitted in skin to skin contact in all other areas which arent covered.

run.

s2cmpugh · 12-30-2005, 08:36 AM

Oh I am very glad she was open with me, and I give her props for that. I have just never been in this kind of situation before, so it is a bit like driving w/ only one eye and one ear, and the one good eye is fuzzy.

s2cmpugh · 12-30-2005, 09:21 AM

Jokes are acceptable as well...I have even asked a co-worker and SHE was even like "put on your nike's and run your skinny white ass off."

UberGoober · 12-30-2005, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Oh I am very glad she was open with me,

Apparently you aren't the first she was uh, "open" with...

Quote:

and I give her props for that

And she'll give you herps...

Uh look, Herpes is the gift that keeps on giving, forever. In your life you will find other girls to connect with. What are they going to say when you give them this same little talk?

Time to say, "Hey, great talkin' with ya!" and split.

s2cmpugh · 12-30-2005, 09:50 AM

Thom up in the hizzzouse!!! See the hard part is I met her thru a friend at work, so I don't want to piss my friend off, however...I think she would totally understand.

Having sex w/ her in anyway is totally out of the question, I just need some suggestions on how to approach her and be respectfull about it.

Justin726 · 12-30-2005, 09:58 AM

Moved to the Dating and Sex Life forum.

s2cmpugh · 12-30-2005, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justin726

Moved to the Dating and Sex Life forum.

Sorry dude, I didn't even know we had that again...my bad

UberGoober · 12-30-2005, 10:08 AM

Look Chris - In my experience if a woman starts saying things like "if you have sex with me" then she is already thinking ahead. If this girl isn't just talking about herpes to screw with your head and is being truthful then you are starting this little trip fully informed. If your health is important to you it is way better to cut this crap off now than it will be in two or three months. Right now you are just chatting and having a good time, later it will be more emotionally painful.

The last thing you want to do is put your health in jeopardy. If you get herpes that means later in life when you find the woman you want to marry then you will have to have this same little talk wth her. How will she respond? Even if she doesn't mind and you do marry, you are pretty much guaranteed to infect her too - like someone has pointed out anywhere on your body that touches this woman could be infected hands, legs, face you name it.

As or having kids, I dunno, maybe there is some way they can put your sperm into a test tube and allow your wife to get pregnant without infecting her, but that doesn't sound like much fun. Sex shouldn't have to be an exercise in biohazard precaution.

Jokes aside, Herpes is serious shit. I think you should flee now.

UberGoober · 12-30-2005, 10:10 AM

As for approaching her and being respectful - I think the thing to do is ask the questions you are curious about in a forthright and honest manner.

UberGoober · 12-30-2005, 10:11 AM

THEN run.

appleripper · 12-30-2005, 10:21 AM

I'd do a little research on a medical site. Cause I don't know enough about it and sounds like you don't either. FloridaMike said it's transfered by skin to skin but I'd imagine it would have to be fluid to a mucus(sp) membrane. I don't know if she could give it to you through kissing or a BJ. I'd guess eating the pussy would be completely out of the question unless you covered it in saran wrap. A wrapped dick and no kissing doesn't sound like a way to spend the rest of your life or any amount of time other than one night. Oh and I am not sure if Herpes is transferrable all the time or only during outbreaks.

s2cmpugh · 12-30-2005, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmkreutzer

THEN run.

HAHA.. I can always count on you for the right thing to do.

My health is VERY VERY VERY important to me. I want to hang out with her, but at this point...only as a friend. I should take care of it now before it gets more emotionally involved.

I don't think she was lieing at all about it, b/c she was getting pretty detailed on how often she gets outbreaks (once a year), and how and when it happened.

If she has enough respect for me to tell me, then I should show her the same courtesy and tell her how I feel. I just need ideas on how to approach her BEFORE I get on the bike and get the hell outta there.

UberGoober · 12-30-2005, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by s2cmpugh

If she has enough respect for me to tell me, then I should show her the same courtesy and tell her how I feel. I just need ideas on how to approach her BEFORE I get on the bike and get the hell outta there.

Oh, if that is all then say, "No offense, but just the mere thought of the crawlies you got living in your drawers gives me the heebie jeebies. I need to go home and burn my jeans cuz I'm afraid of what I might have got just sitting next to you on the couch."

Ok seriously, be honest and forthright - "You might be a wonderful woman and I might be screwing up, but my health is important to me and I'm afraid your health problems might have an negative impact on my life if we hook up. I think its better we just stay friends and not get too attached to one another."

Being straight with people has always served me well - say what you want to say plain and simple without being rude. You aren't pointing and laughing at her, the very idea that you had this kind of conversation says that at least one of you is thinking about takingthis relationship to the next level. Like I said earlier, if you don't want that nip it the bud right now.