Dating?

Travis71902 · 12-05-2005, 06:11 PM

Anybody date an older girl that has kids? I'm gonna ask this girl out, but she's got two young kids, they're 5 and 2 i think, the girl is 27(I'll be 21 in 5 weeks). I don't really mind kids, my best friend whom I see almost everyday has two kids and I'm great with them. I know its different when they're yours or somebodies ur dating, but I dont forsee myself taking care of her kids or anything like that. Just to clarify, I'm not just looking for sex but I'm not looking for marriage either ya know. I figured I'd just take her out, with or without the kids, and have some fun. I dont know how comfortable I'd feel if she brought the kids on the first couple dates just cause if its not happening, Id feel bad for the kids constantly being introduced to different "friends" of mommy, but if it did work I wouldn't mind after a couple dates. Anybody have any experiences with this kinda stuff? Good? Bad? Am I getting in over my head? Again I'm just looking for a couple non serious fun dates to see what happens and then maybe a relationship.

OFFICER737 · 12-05-2005, 06:14 PM

First few dates go solo and see how it goes, then bring the kids in but only if the relationship is progressing.

Rascus · 12-05-2005, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OFFICER737

First few dates go solo and see how it goes, then bring the kids in but only if the relationship is progressing.

I'd even wait longer then a few dates. The last thing the kids need to see is a "possible" new daddy. Wait a few months, then go for it. If she pushes the kids on you right away I'd be worried that she's just looking for a dad for the kids. If that happens, i'd recommend walking away. If she wants to wait for you to meet things look good.

Peter North · 12-05-2005, 07:21 PM

I dated a girl for a while with a young boy.
She was apparently still married though so that didn't go over well with the husband.

I also was dating a girl and she found out she was pregnant with her ex's child. I was there throughout her pregnancy, even went to the classes with her and was their for the birth of her babygirl. Somehow the fact that I was there for all that makes it so we can't even be friends now. She kind of hates me for it.

Children seem to bring alot of drama...99% of the time.

It's your call. Just go slow if you do.

BikeBella · 12-05-2005, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dizzle

I dated a girl for a while with a young boy.
She was apparently still married though so that didn't go over well with the husband.

Children seem to bring alot of drama...99% of the time.

It's your call. Just go slow if you do.

Yeah, I dated a guy who had a baby and also happened to be married at the time but I think the fact that I didn't know about either of them caused more drama than the actual kid.. anyways +1 for waiting awhile on bringing the kids into the picture. A friend of mine who's older was dating a woman with a few kids and later on he found out that she was trying to just find a daddy for them she was pushing moving in and marriage after only a month.. I'd just be cautious.

jim schmidt · 12-05-2005, 08:07 PM

When I was your age, I went through a whole string of 27 year olds (purely coincidental) some with kids, some married, some single.

I enjoyed every one, except one. Who BTW, didn't have any kids.

And, as someone else said, she likely won't want you around her kids any too soon.

Travis71902 · 12-05-2005, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jim schmidt

When I was your age, I went through a whole string of 27 year olds (purely coincidental) some with kids, some married, some single.

I enjoyed every one, except one. Who BTW, didn't have any kids.

And, as someone else said, she likely won't want you around her kids any too soon.

Thats good news. Im pretty hyped up about asking her out. And yeah I hope she don't bring the kids into the picture too early. Especially this time of year, its kinda awkward starting a relationship with a girl with kids.

nitrotc3drifter · 12-06-2005, 12:30 AM

IMO.....if they have kidsits a no go, its awkward for the kids if they are old enough to understand the situation, when i was a kid my parents got divorced, and then each of them got married and divorced three other times a piece, and they both dated a few others in between, i always felt awkward every time my dad and mom had us meet the people they were dating.

Travis71902 · 12-06-2005, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nitrotc3drifter

IMO.....if they have kidsits a no go, its awkward for the kids if they are old enough to understand the situation, when i was a kid my parents got divorced, and then each of them got married and divorced three other times a piece, and they both dated a few others in between, i always felt awkward every time my dad and mom had us meet the people they were dating.

So just because she has kids she is not allowed to date?

Fargin_Bastige · 12-06-2005, 12:45 AM

It's going to be a little difficult for you, as far as time. If you're used to dating women without kids, it's an adjustment.

Travis71902 · 12-06-2005, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fargin_Bastige

It's going to be a little difficult for you, as far as time. If you're used to dating women without kids, it's an adjustment.

I've been waiting for your input. What do you mean about time?

Fargin_Bastige · 12-06-2005, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis71902

I've been waiting for your input. What do you mean about time?

You'll have to get used to it logistically. Getting the kids a sitter and stuff like that. It'll just take an attitude adjustment, knowing that the kids are top priority. It's a little weird at first, but you get used to it.

I'm not discouraging it by any means, just giving you nuggets of my personal experience.

I have 140 dog years experience under my belt!

nitrotc3drifter · 12-06-2005, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis71902

So just because she has kids she is not allowed to date?

no, i wont date a girl with kids because of that, i should have said both of you can date, but dont go and meet the kids untill both of you know that you are serious about each other. my mom and dad brought their dates to meet us after one or two dates and it was always awkward, because i never knew what was going to happen between them, and i was afraid to associate with their dates, because i never knew if they were going to stay together or not. what i am trying to say is make sure that you both know that you are serious about each other before you meet kids, because the kids wont want to associate with you unless they know you are really serious

firefighter81 · 12-06-2005, 01:00 AM

Honestly, unless the girl was someone AMAZINGLY incredible, like someone I had never met before, I would not be willing to take the baggage associated with her kids. It's just one headache I don't want to deal with (not the kids, just the fact that they aren't MY kids)