Prep. For The Psych Evaluation/Interview

[Travis71902]

I got a laugh outta this..and I think I pass on all of them too!

Relax.....

If no decaying bodies of homeless drifters are stacked, one-upon-another, in the crawlspace under every home you've ever lived in...

If, as a child, you didn't light fires for fun, kill small animals and play with their remains...

If you answer the pshrink's questions, and not the voices of the little people who live inside your head...

If you don't wet the bed at night, then smoke crack, eat leaded paint chips, and drink whiskey every waking moment of the day...

If you've never done things, sexually, that the mere mention of would make Ron Jeremy blush...

Especially, if you've never done things, sexually, that would embarrass a German...

If you realize there's no grand conspiracy regarding the Apollo moon landing, the CIA dealing drugs in South Central L.A., AIDS/HIV, Area 51, 9/11, or the deaths of JFK & RFK...

Or you do believe in one, or all, of the grand conspiracies mentioned above, but you have come to accept the fact that you were not placed on this earth, by God Almighty Himself, specifically to uncover the truth, expose the lies, arrest and imprison the guilty, and then hand out the bloody punishment for all these crimes against humanity...

If you don't think Elvis is still alive, and if you sent him a letter at Graceland, he would eventually read it...

If you're secure in your beliefs that Al Gore and his friends would NOT have done a better job in the aftermath of 9/11...

If you do not carry a list of people who wronged you in high school, whom you're going to get even with after graduating from the police academy...

If the thought of holding a loaded semi-auto pistol in your hand doesn't cause any physical reaction to any portion of your anatomy, specifically, under your beltline...

If you realize that Jessica Simpson DID NOT divorce Nick Lachay so that you could more easily waltz your way into her life once she saw you in uniform...

If you realize that writing a check or paying with a credit card means that you should have the actual financial ability to cover the check, or make the monthly payments on the interest, plus a little extra to cover the principal...

If your daddy didn't marry his sister and you grew up playing the banjo really, really, well...

If you realize that Ponch & John, T.J. Hooker, Hondo & Deac', Reed & Malloy, Sgt. Joe Friday & Officer Bill Gannon are FICTIONAL characters whose exploits have no basis in the real life of a law enforcement professional..you will be fine!

[kneedraggin650s]

You laugh but some of those questions will be asked during your psycho evaluation.

My favorite question asked during my psyc eval was "do you fantasize about having sex with an animal". My response to the the shrink, "how many people say yes to that question?" Her response was more then you think. No was my answer btw.

[Rascus]

Travis, are those ones that were asked to you?

[RayOSV]

So how many can you get "wrong" and still pass?

[Krazy Hawaiian]

Who answered yes to this besides Travis? If your daddy didn't marry his sister and you grew up playing the banjo really, really, well...

[OFFICER737]

These test questions are funny as hell!!

After one of my interviews with the shrink I asked "are we supposed to pass this thing?"

[kneedraggin650s]

Originally Posted by OFFICER737

"are we supposed to pass this thing?"

I think to pass and be qualified to be a police officer, we have have to fail.

[dracoleb]

My psych questionaire thing was over 1200 questions long. The actual interview with the doctor took about 5 min. There were some interesting questions on there like "True or False, I am often possessed by the devil"

Not that often...